Comic Almanack,
The Comic Almanack, Volume 2 An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
作者：Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863; À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott, 1811-1856; Mayhew, Henry, 1812-1887; Mayhew, Horace, 1816-1872; Smith, Albert, 1816-1860; Cruikshank, George, 1792-1878 [Illustrator]
体例：题 章数：535
字数：695,249 来源：Project Gutenberg
章节目录
共 535 题- THE
- COMIC ALMANACK,
- 2ND SERIES, 1844-1853.
- BY
- BY GEORGE CRUIKSHANK
- AND OTHER ARTISTS.
- CONTENTS
- HINTS ON ECONOMY.
- HINTS TO EMIGRANTS.
- PREDICTIONS FOR JANUARY.
- THE GARDEN.
- 1844.] JANUARY.
- DECISIONS IN HILARY TERM.
- MONTHLY OBSERVATIONS.
- USEFUL REMARKS.
- GENERAL CHARACTER OF THE WEATHER.
- FEBRUARY. [1844.
- PATENTS FOR INVENTIONS.
- Patents will, it is expected, be granted—
- PREDICTIONS FOR MARCH.
- GARDENING OPERATIONS.
- OBSERVATIONS.
- 1844.] MARCH.
- THE MARCH OF INTELLECT.
- THE WEATHER.
- FARMING OPERATIONS.
- PROVINCIAL THEATRICALS.
- 1844.] APRIL.
- WHO SHALL EDUCATE THE PRINCE OF WALES?
- ELECTION CORRESPONDENCE.
- MY DEAR SIR,
- MY DEAR SIR,
- MAY. [1844.
- THROWN OUT FOR THE CITY.
- MY DEAR SIR,
- MY DEAR SIR,
- CRITICAL ESSAY ON THE PRIZE CARTOONS.
- 1844.] JUNE.
- THE WATERING-PLACES OF ENGLAND.
- DOMESTIC HINTS FOR THE FIRST OF APRIL.
- CASE.
- JULY. [1844.
- POLITICAL PAS-DE-QUATRE.
- THE DEBATE.
- THE RESIGNATION.
- THE LORD BROUGHAM.
- 11. Prince of Orange assassinated, 1584.
- GEORGE CRUIKSHANK.
- 1844.] AUGUST.
- THE FEAST OF THE GROTTOES.
- ODE TO FATHER MATHEW.
- POPULAR ERRORS.
- REPORT ON PUBLIC HEALTH.
- SEPTEMBER. [1844.
- POLITICS ABROAD.
- THE SINGING MOUSE.
- OBSERVATIONS OF A NATURALIST.
- 1844.] OCTOBER.
- THE DOGS' BILL.
- FACTS WORTH REMEMBERING.
- NOVEMBER. [1844.
- ROYAL PANTOMIME.
- THE ROYAL TOUR;
- In the course of the Pantomime will be exhibited the following
- NEW AND SPLENDID SCENERY:—
- PLYMOUTH, WITH THE MAYOR IN THE DISTANCE,
- A GRAND NAUTICAL PANORAMA,
- CAVE OF REVOLUTIONARY DESPAIR,
- TRIUMPH OF THE GOOD GENIUS.
- 1844.] DECEMBER.
- THE POLAR EXPEDITION.
- THE LEGAL ART-UNION.
- POST OFFICE REGULATIONS.
- CATECHISM OF POLITICS FOR THE FRENCH.
- JANUARY.
- FEBRUARY.
- MARCH.
- APRIL.
- MAY.
- JUNE.
- JULY.
- AUGUST.
- SEPTEMBER.
- OCTOBER.
- NOVEMBER.
- DECEMBER.
- THE OMNIBUS CONDUCTORS' LAMENT.
- A SHORT TREATISE ON TIDES.
- THE ECLIPSES FOR 1845.
- The first sign of the Zodiac is
- LIBRA,
- The second on the list is
- SCORPIO,
- SAGITTARIUS
- The fourth sign is
- CAPRICORNUS,
- AQUARIUS,
- PISCES
- ARIES
- TAURUS
- GEMINI
- CANCER
- LEO
- VIRGO
- SENTIMENTS FOR THE STAGE.
- FOR A BRITISH TAR.
- FOR A PRIMA DONNA.
- FOR LORD COLLINGWOOD AT ASTLEY'S.
- FOR A HEROINE OF DOMESTIC DRAMA.
- FOR A GENEROUS BROKER.
- FOR A CONSCIENCE-STRICKEN STEWARD.
- THE REASON FOR FUDDLING ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY,
- LONDON IMPROVEMENTS.
- OPENING OF THE ROYAL EXCHANGE.
- ODE TO FASHION.
- QUARTER DAY.
- SPRING: AFTER THOMSON.
- GOING TO ST. PAUL'S.
- A PANIC AT THE BANK.
- FINE ART DISTRIBUTION.
- THE HORTICULTURAL FATE.
- BY SAMUEL SPOONER, ESQUIRE,
- GOLDEN RULES FOR MENDICANTS.
- SUMMERY JUSTICE.
- OCCUPATIONS OF THE PEOPLE.
- THE GREAT FIRE OF LONDON.
- THE CONTEST FOR AN ALDERMANIC GOWN.
- ANTIPATHIES OF REMARKABLE CHARACTERS.
- THE FALL OF THE LEAF.
- A NEW TABLE TO CALCULATE WAGES.
- A person's indignation on being told "Queen Anne's dead."
- DIRECTIONS FOR BREWING.
- ASSESSED TAXES.
- THE POLKA PLAGUE.
- TOM.
- BILL.
- TOM.
- BILL.
- TOM.
- BILL.
- TOM.
- BILL.
- TOM.
- BILL.
- SPORTS AND PASTIMES.
- THE POSTMAN.
- THE CABMAN.
- OUR PRIZE PROPHECY.
- ABOLITION OF DUELLING.
- THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN JANUARY.
- THE GIPSY'S PROPHECY.
- What do you generally think—
- THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN FEBRUARY.
- FIRE ESCAPES.
- BALLAD:
- THE LAY OF THE BLIGHTED POTATO.
- AIR—"I HAD A FLOWER WITHIN MY GARDEN GROWING."
- THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN MARCH.
- TO FIND OUT WHICH WAY THE WIND BLOWS
- THE TRADE WIND GENERATOR.
- THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN MAY.
- I.—THE DAY BEFORE.
- II.—THE DAY AFTER.
- THE FARCE ASSURANCE COMPANY.
- THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN JUNE.
- PART I.
- PART II.
- THE BOUQUET PROJECTOR, OR CERITO CATAPULT.
- THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN JULY.
- THE SCHOOL OF DESIGN.
- THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN AUGUST.
- MARTYRS OF SCIENCE.
- JAMES WATT,
- NEWTON,
- DR. JENNER,
- HARVEY,
- PRIESTLEY,
- DAVY (SIR HUMPHREY),
- THE JURY'S GUIDE TO FALSE WEIGHTS AND MEASURES.
- THE REVELATIONS OF LONDON.
- THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN SEPTEMBER.
- THE NEW MAGAZINE MACHINE.
- THE WONDERS OF ANCIENT EGYPT.
- THE WAR IN CHINA.
- EARLY WIT, ETC.
- TREACHERY AT WATERLOO
- THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN NOVEMBER.
- THE TRAFALGAR FOUNTAINS.
- HINTS TO NOVELISTS, FOR 1846.
- THE READ-UP, OR JAMESONIAN.
- THE PSEUDO-GRAPHIC, OR WEAK BOZ-AND-WATER.
- THE TOPOGRAPHICAL, OR TRANSATLANTIC.
- THE ECLOGIC, OR GOREAN.
- MOTTOES FOR CRACKER BONBONS.
- Or,—
- Or,—
- THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN DECEMBER.
- COURTEOUS READER,
- JANUARY.
- FEBRUARY.
- MARCH.
- APRIL.
- MAY.
- JUNE.
- JULY.
- AUGUST.
- SEPTEMBER
- OCTOBER.
- NOVEMBER.
- DECEMBER.
- THE INVISIBLE POLICEMAN.
- A NATURAL CURIOSITY,
- NOBODY HAS EVER YET SEEN.
- HE WILL
- TELL ANY PERSONS WHAT THEY HAD FOR DINNER THE DAY BEFORE;
- HE WILL
- NAME THE COLD MEAT DAYS IN EACH FAMILY;
- AND
- LIKEWISE
- Indeed, it will be found that this Wonderful Creature
- THE SCHOLASTIC HEN AND HER CHICKENS.
- MORAL.
- MEETING OF THE DWARFS.
- DUAN THE FIRST.
- DUAN THE SECOND.
- DUAN THE THIRD.
- THE WOMAN OF MIND.
- THE CLOUD.
- BORN A GENIUS AND BORN A DWARF.
- Thus spake the mighty Jove, and the Mother in gratitude cried out:—
- A MONO-RHYME.
- SHAM IBRAHIM,
- I DREAMT THAT I SLEPT AT MADAME TUSSAUD'S.
- I.
- II.
- THE EDUCATION OF THE SOLDIER.
- TO THE IDLE OF MY HEART.
- TEMPUS EDAX RERUM.
- POST BOY.
- STAGE COACHMAN.
- POST BOY.
- STAGE COACHMAN.
- POST BOY.
- STAGE COACHMAN.
- POST BOY.
- STAGE COACHMAN.
- POST BOY.
- STAGE COACHMAN.
- POST BOY.
- STAGE COACHMAN.
- POST BOY.
- STAGE COACHMAN.
- POST BOY.
- STAGE COACHMAN.
- ADVICE TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS.
- MY VERY DEAR FRIENDS,
- ADVICE TO YOUNG LADIES.
- MY DEAR CREATURES,
- THE BANQUET OF THE BLACK DOLLS
- DE BLACK DOLLIBUS.
- THE BLACK DOLL'S RECEIPT FOR A GOOD PLUM PUDDING.
- PEOPLE ONE MEETS IN SOCIETY.
- A NEW OPENING FOR VALENTINES.
- PROBLEMS VERY EASY OF SOLUTION.
- PROBLEMS RATHER DIFFICULT OF SOLUTION.
- THE MOST DIFFICULT PROBLEM OF ALL.
- THE STOCK MARKET.
- FULL MOURNING AND HALF MOURNING.
- SAYINGS AND DOINGS OF MR. BROOK GREEN.
- THE DUTY OFF TEA.
- G. A. A'B.
- ABSENTEES AND EMIGRANTS DURING 1847.
- THE UNIVERSAL SMASHER.
- THE RESPECTABLE MAN.
- BEWARE.
- Beware of a lodging-house where you are "treated as one of the family."
- Beware of entering a French shop which has the following inscription:—
- THE GULL.
- A PRIZE BAD JOKE.
- MATERIALS FOR AN IRISH SPEECH.
- SWEET ARE THE USES OF TEARS.
- Never pause for a word as long as there is "Finis."
- SEA-SIDE ENTOMOLOGY.
- THE LADY BIRD.
- THE MARINE APHIS VASTATOR.
- BACON'S NOVUM ORGANUM.
- THE CHEMIST'S CAT.
- HUNTING AN HEIR.
- MY DEAREST ELIZA,
- THE LANGUAGE OF VEGETABLES.
- See, my dear Tom, I make it out as follows:—
- A ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE (founded on the above) 2 6
- PUBLIC INQUEST 5 0
- ADJOURNED MEETING 2 9¼
- A MYSTERY OF LONDON.
- A BUNDLE OF DEFINITIONS.
- MOVEMENT OF THE FINE ARTS.
- THE FIRST NIGHT OF A PANTOMIME.
- CHANGE.
- THE UNIVERSAL PHILANTHROPIST.
- THE CITY "FAST MAN."
- EXPRESSIVE CHINESE PROVERBS.
- AN IMAGINARY RUN ON A TURKISH RAILWAY.
- THE POTATO ITSELF AGAIN.
- MORAL.
- SHIRTICULTURE.
- 1. Portrait of a Fat Cook, in the possession of A 1 and B 2.
- 5. Leg of mutton and trimmings—the shirt of an alderman.
- 9. The Last Man—the property of a life-pill manufacturer.
- 12. Distant view of Reading—The shirt of a critic.
- A LONDON INTERIOR.
- POPULAR CONTINENTAL DELUSIONS RESPECTING ENGLAND.
- That Englishmen never eat anything but "biftecks" and "pomme-de-terres."
- NEW YEAR'S GIFTS.
- QUESTION AND ANSWER.
- FULL-FLAVOURED SIMILE.
- FASHIONS FOR 1849.
- A LITTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM.
- INCREDIBLE TESTIMONIAL.
- HOW STARS ARE DISCOVERED.
- ASTLEY'S HISTORICAL QUESTIONS.
- APOLLO ARRESTED BY A WRIT.
- CONSCIENCE MONEY.
- THE GAME OF FRIGHT.
- CAPITAL OFFENDERS
- A woman who is always talking about her "delicate constitution."
- A faded coxcomb who talks of his successes with "the dear creatures."
- AN EXTENSIVE ORDER.
- Well, that which has most hats taken off to it, is—
- Well, then, say it, and be—
- Hush—breathe not a word that may be offensive to
- So, "Hats off!" and let us all sing—
- SQUIBS IN STATUES.
- VALUABLE ADVICE.
- The future husband reads out the following bill
- To a magnificent blind—a pure Corbould 40 10 0
- To six Gothic Swan-of-Avon Egyptian chairs 60 0 0
- To one Stonehenge dressing-table 26 11 2
- To one Grecian washing-stand (a decided bargain). 102 0 0
- Sum total £286 13 6½
- PLAY-BILL DIALOGUES.
- MAKE A WORSE ONE IF YOU CAN.
- Whilst he is enjoying himself in the limpid stream, B are carried off by
- AX's answer is very plain—"Not till every blessed seat is taken."
- THE MILITARY GAME OF GOOSE.
- TALES OF A LANDLORD.
- AN AIRY LODGING.
- A BEDOUIN VESTRY MEETING.
- TEETOTALER'S TOAST.—"The worm of the still—may it soon be a still worm!"
- A CRITIC.—A man who judges an author's works by the "errata."
- TWO LITTLE CUTS THROWN IN.
- BEFORE.
- AFTER.
- ALL A-BLOWING! ALL A-GROWING!
- THE LORD MAYOR IN IRELAND.
- DREADFUL CASE OF AGRICULTURAL DISTRESS.
- We subjoin a few of the lots and purchasers at the late sale:—
- COCKNEY ENIGMAS.
- THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
- DOCTORESS SENNA.
- PROFESSORESS FANNY SANDELLS. | PROFESSORESS EYEBALLS, M.A.
- 2. In High English is there such a word as Cabbage?
- 2. Our Fanny is a great big silly, and your Charles is a perfect duck.
- 1. Test the following examples by logical rules—
- 2. What form of syllogism does the following come under?—
- 1. Is the highest power of T equal to x x x?
- 3. State the _areas_ that the K division of the whole force will occupy.
- 1. Are boys monkeys, and men great pigs?
- 1. How do you prepare hands of pork? Must you first clean your hands.
- 2. In dressing calves' feet, should you first wash your feet?
- THE CENSUS OF 1851.
- THE LION HUNTER'S MUSEUM.
- 1. The autograph of Miss Biffin, written with her toes.
- 6. The head-dress of one of the Ojibbeways.
- A LEAF OUT OF LEDRU ROLLIN'S BOOK.
- ALARMING SACRIFICE
- MODERN BALLOONING,
- TO THE EDITOR OF "THE COMIC ALMANACK."
- OUR PET THIEF.
- THE "WHAT IS IT?"
- BLOOMERISM IN FULL BLOW.
- THE BATTLE OF THE HARVEST FIELD.
- THE BATTLE OF THE YATCHES.
- THE BATTLE OF THE YATCHES.
- THE TRUE HISTORY OF THE KOH-I-NOOR.
- MRS. BEAKEY'S TABLE (AND CHAIR) TALK.
- IRISH AUCTIONS.
- CONDITIONS OF SALE BY AUCTION IN IRELAND.
- PROPHETIC AND MYSTERIOUS HINTS FOR 1852.
- JANUARY.
- FEBRUARY.
- MARCH.
- APRIL.
- MAY.
- JUNE.
- JULY.
- AUGUST.
- SEPTEMBER.
- OCTOBER.
- NOVEMBER.
- DECEMBER.
- ECLIPSES IN 1852.
- OTHER ASTRONOMICAL INFORMATION.
- THE NIGHTINGALE.
- THE GOLDEN AGE COMING.
- THE GOLD IN AUSTRALIA.
- MY DEAR MOSHES,
- OUR OWN "NOTES AND QUERIES."
- PIKES AND ASSES.
- BLACK'S THE WHITE OF MY EYE.
- J. P."
- JONBUMPSISGROUND
- THE OPERA HABITUÉ.
- MR. BULL'S GLASS OF WATER.
- CURIOUS TRAIT OF NATIONAL MANNERS.
- 1. Five Tomahawks (warranted).
- 2. Eight Colt's Revolvers (have each shot their man).
- 3. Two Sword-sticks.
- 4. Three Gouging Forks (patent).
- 5. Seven Nigger Whips (loaded with lead, and highly recommended).
- 8. A Cask of Tar—good for Abolitionists.
- 9. The Feathers out of Four Feather-Beds—ditto, ditto.
- 11. A Pair of Bloomer's Pantilettes.
- 12. A Bad Dollar, and
- 13. A Worn-out Pen.
- TABLE OF THE PROBABLE DURATION OF LIFE.
- THE RIDDLER.
- CHARADE.
- LAURA.
- ANOTHER.
- SEMAJ.
- A THIRD.
- WOPS BORSHON.
- REBUS.
- LILLY.
- ANOTHER.
- INGENIOUS MARY.
- ARITHMETICAL PUZZLE.
- JUNIUS.
- CONUNDRUMS.
- I.
- II.
- III.
- IV.
- V.
- VI.
- DESDEMONA B.
- ANAGRAMS.
- SIPSEHT.
- TRANSPOSITIONS.
- I.
- II.
- III.
- P. PILLICODDY.
- FINAL BLAZE OF GLORY.
- OUR ADVERTISING COLUMN.
- LITTLETON BLUEBAG.
- OUR OWN PRESIDENT OF FRANCE.
- JANUARY.
- FEBRUARY.
- JANUARY.
- CHRONOLOGICAL NOTES FOR THE YEAR 1853.
- ECLIPSES OF THE SUN AND MOON IN 1853.
- FEBRUARY.
- MARCH.
- MARCH.
- The following national sports will form a portion of the programme:—
- And (in effigy, out of consideration for Saxon prejudices)
- APRIL.
- MAY.
- JUNE.
- JUNE.
- JULY.
- AUGUST.
- JULY.
- AUGUST.
- SEPTEMBER.
- OCTOBER.
- SEPTEMBER.
- OCTOBER.
- NOVEMBER.
- DECEMBER.
- NOVEMBER.
- DECEMBER.
- MORE RAILWAY ASSURANCE,
- AN AUSTRALIAN ECLOGUE.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- BUGGINS.
- MUGGINS.
- COORABUNDY.
- BELOVED TEE-TEE,
- POO POO.
- THE CHANGE IN THE WEATHER.
- Yellow Fever 1640
- Black do 870
- Green do 651
- Ague 923
- Coup de Soleil 130
- Influenza (old English complaint) almost obsolete 1
- Total 4257
- THE MONSTER SWEEP.
- FULL DRESS.
- A GREAT MISTAKE.
- Or in this style:—
- A DOMESTIC TRAGEDY;
- ANSWER TO CORRESPONDENTS.
- ADVERTISEMENTS.
- AN ENGLISH SUN AND AN ENGLISH SKY.
- TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES
- End of Project Gutenberg's The Comic Almanack, Volume 2 (of 2), by Various