July will be a very hot month. Several cases of hydrophobia will occur.
In each instance the dog will be killed as soon as he has bitten a
sufficient number of people to amount to a conviction. The theory of
prevention, by muzzling or chaining up, will be suggested by many
people, but will continue to be disregarded, as entirely opposed to the
spirit of the British Constitution.
A terrible act of injustice will be committed. A very sensible dog
indeed will be killed as mad—for refusing to drink a drop of Thames
water.
The Emperor Napoleon III. will issue a decree fixing the number of
dishes to be contained in the dinner of every Frenchman who, after so
many months of an enlightened and paternal government, may be able to
afford one; the quality of pomatum to be used for his whiskers; and the
number of antibilious pills he may take in the course of the week.
The Humane Society will be very active. Baths and wash-houses will be
instituted for the benefit of individuals who may have been imprudent
enough to bathe in the Serpentine.
M. Jullien will be engaged at the Surrey Zoological Gardens for a series
of _Concerts d'Eté_. The feature of the season will be an entirely new
set of quadrilles, entitled _Les Bêtes_, in which (in addition to the
usual performers) all the animals of the menagerie will be introduced.
It will make a very great noise indeed. As none of the animals will be
muzzled or chained up, several members of the orchestra may be expected
to make their last appearance on the occasion.
[Illustration:
IN CONSIDERATION OF THE EXTREME HEAT OF THE WEATHER, THE USUAL STRICT
DRESS REGULATIONS OF THE OPERA WILL BE SUSPENDED.
]