THE SEAT OF PAIN.—A seat in the front row of the dress circle of the
Adelphi Theatre, judging from first impressions, which they say last the
longest, is decidedly the Seat of Pain.
A pew in a fashionable church is a religious ordinary, held every
Sunday, price one shilling!
The weathercock, after all, points to the highest moral truth, for it
shows man that it is a _vane_ thing to _a-spire_.
The Horse Guards are the Bright Pokers of the army. They are kept up
exclusively for show, most highly polished, but never intended to go
into the thick of the fire.
Sons treat their governors like oysters: they never cease "sticking"
them till they have made them "shell out."
The Press of England and the Press of France are both noted for their
convictions—but the first are moral convictions, and the second legal
ones.
Abd-el-Kader and a Turkey carpet are very much alike. They never come
out so strongly, their designs are never so apparent, and their colours
never have so much effect, as after a thorough good beating.
The Albert Hat is one of those things very much better described than
_felt_.
Many ideas are exceedingly pretty, which, when inquired into, are found,
like a necklace of birds' eggs, to hang upon the slightest thread, and
to have absolutely nothing in them. Some authors evidently look upon
ideas as children do upon birds' eggs—public property which there is no
harm in stealing. They string them, too, very much in the same strain—
drawing everything they can out of them, and decorating themselves
afterwards with the empty shells.
AGRICULTURAL SPORTS.—About Autumn catch your prize labourer, and joke
him at your annual Show; put him on a platform, and make good quiet fun
of his having brought up sixteen children on five shillings a week for
twenty years. Compliment him most highly on his sobriety and all the
cardinal virtues, and give him a good-natured dig about his little
potato ground. Give him a glass of wine and five shillings; and when you
are tired of the absurdity, tell him to sit down, and call up your
fattest pig and bull, and sustain the rollick of the day's amusements by
awarding them premiums of 10_l._ and 15_l._ each. This is capital sport,
and gentlefolks come far and near to see it, only we doubt if the poor
labourer sees exactly the fun of it.
TRUEFITT ON SHAKSPEARE.—An aspiring hairdresser, who has been to see
_Romeo and Juliet_, wishes to be informed whether the "parting" which
the lady describes to be "such sweet sorrow" was in the middle, or only
on one side? We are really unable to say with any certainty; but the
faults of lovers, which often lead to a parting, are generally on both
sides.
[Illustration:
Portrait of Jim Crow, after Herbert.
]