Several young ladies will now receive bouquets on the mornings of
parties, without having the "slightest idea" from whom they come. Human
glow-worms will appear hovering at night, with lanterns, round
door-steps and scrapers, until the Polkas commence; when the
street-doors in the newly-built houses will take to knocking themselves.
A new musical court of justice will condemn offending professors to
eight hours at the quadrille piano, instead of so many days at the
treadmill. A hapless _pianiste_ will be found dead at the instrument, at
a _réunion_ in Eaton Square, after the "after-supper cotillion."
[Illustration]
Several grand morning concerts will take place at the Opera Concert
Room, in which every _artiste_ in London will sing or play twice. They
will commence at two P.M., and always conclude in time for breakfast the
next morning. An elegant little article will be invented, called "The
Nutritive Lozenge; or, Concert Portable Larder," to support the
existence of those who _will_ wait the programme out. Arrangements will
be made with some machinery from the stage for hauling those who faint
or die through the windows on to the top of the colonnade, without
disturbing the rest of the audience.
DREADFUL RAILWAY ACCIDENT, from the bursting of a boiler, which will
blow everybody and everything into an impalpable powder. The steam will
cook a number of greens in an adjacent field, and boil a number of pigs;
providing a choice meal for a number of residents in an adjacent union,
who will be turned out to feed for the day.