Some of the subscribers to this Almanack have represented to us that it
is scarcely complete without a prediction, and we have, therefore, been
on the look out during the year for an eligible prophecy. We were for
some time in treaty with a professor of the cabalistic art; but, as one
of our stipulations with the soothsayer was, that the prediction should
not be paid for until it was realized, the sage, with considerable
indignation, declined the engagement. We have consequently resolved on
throwing open the prophetic department to public competition, and we
therefore invite the attention of professional seers to the following
conditions:—
Prophecies must be sent in before the end of September, written in plain
English, without any mystifying allusions to the signs of the zodiac.
No prophecy to contradict itself more than once in the same sentence;
and where there are two results, one of which must arise, both must not
be predicted in the same paragraph.
A prophecy that Sagittarius will influence the fate of a man of rank,
will not be considered as having been fulfilled by a nobleman happening
to marry, or go out of town, or come to town, in the course of the month
referred to in the alleged prediction.
The assertion that the town of Birmingham is under the influence of
Aquarius will be considered a partially fulfilled prophecy—and paid for
as such—if washing and bathing establishments should be introduced into
Birmingham at about the time specified.
Prophecies consisting merely of figures, and sent in as nativities,
cannot be taken into consideration, for, though they are no doubt very
correct, they are, unfortunately, wholly unintelligible.
Any prophecy relating to events in Bosnia, Beretzyk in Transylvania, and
other out-of-the-way places, from which a mail never comes, because it
is never due, will be rejected, on account of the difficulty of testing
its accuracy.
[Illustration]
The
COMIC ALMANACK
FOR 1846.
ANOTHER RAILWAY NEWSPAPER.
THE RAILWAY BELLE ASSEMBLÉE
Every one who has observed the mass of railway papers that have shot up
during the past half year, must have been astonished that none, devoted
to Fashionable Railway Intelligence and Literature, have yet appeared,
appealing more especially to those who have souls above the share
market. We have the pleasure of announcing the immediate appearance of
such a periodical. We are aware that, at present, all sympathies,
interests, and affections, social and general, are absorbed by the
railways; but the "Railway Belle Assemblée," whilst it never loses sight
of the mighty spirit of the age, will contain such literature alone, as
the member of the _beau monde_ seeks for in vain, at present, in the
bewildering and endless lines of advertisements, and the single and
double supplements of the daily and weekly press.
_The arrangement of amusements, &., may be looked for as follows_:—A
grand race is about to take place upon the Great Western, from
Paddington to Slough, between the ten o'clock down train and a shower of
rain. In the event of fine weather, the meeting will be postponed until
the next day.
A _déjeûner à la fingers_ is about to be given at the Wolverton station,
whilst the train stops, next Saturday. The pretty young lady with the
dark eyes, who makes the coffee so hot that the passengers cannot drink
it, has condescended to preside. The visitors will arrive exactly ten
minutes before they depart. A band will accompany the passengers the
whole distance—round the hats of the guards; and a pyrotechnical display
will take place off the Birmingham terminus, when the engine fires are
raked out for the night.
On Wednesday next, an interesting _soirée_ of men of letters will be
held, at eight o'clock, with the Post-office bags, at all the different
termini. The clerk at the Kingston station is expected to get the sack
five-and-twenty minutes after, but it will not reflect any discredit on
him.
_Eastern Counties Railway._—An interesting lecture on steam, and the
properties of the engine, was given by the engineer of the "Blazes,"
locomotive, on Tuesday, to the new stoker, on the tender. The
proceedings concluded with a private dinner of two polonies, a small
loaf, and pot of half-and-half.
IMPORTANT.—By a recent Act of Parliament every director is liable to be
called upon to ride in front of the train, whenever it is necessary, as
a buffer. As a great part of them are men of straw, the fitness of these
buffers for the purpose is unquestionable, in addition to the chaff
which they have always at command.