Oh, Fashion! it were vain, indeed,
To try your wondrous flights to follow;
Onward at such a pace you speed,
Beating the _Belle Assemblée_ hollow.
One moment hovering on our coats,
To change the cutting of the skirts;
Then with rude grasp you seize our throats,
Altering the collars of our shirts.
Now trimming up with ribands gay,
And flowers as well, a lady's bonnet;
Then with rude hand tearing away
Each bit of finery upon it.
Shrouding one day the arm from sight,
In sleeve so large that six might share it,
And making it next month so tight
'Tis scarcely possible to bear it.
Upon a lady's dress, again,
With arbitrary hand it pounces;
Making it one day meanly plain,
Then idly loading it with flounces.
But one of Fashion's worst attacks,
By which mankind she most ill-uses,
Has been in dooming us to sacks,
From Taglionis down to blouses.
I'd rather wear the shaggy coat,
That hangs upon the heedless heifer,
Than what I've seen at door-posts float,
As a "Gent's Fashionable Zephyr."
Then, fickle Fashion, fare thee well,
To follow thee I'll not endeavour;
The fabled frog should warn the swell,
My motto is—"highlows for ever."
[Illustration:
SUPERIOR CRAFT—IN DOCK AND OUT OF DOCK.
]
NOTE ON THE NAVAL FORCES OF GREAT BRITAIN.
BY A FRENCH ADMIRAL.
This note is avowedly designed as a companion to the pamphlet of the
Prince de Joinville, which was intended to show how easily England might
be taken by the French; but omitted to say how the matter might have
been taken by the English. The note is written with the same exactitude
as to facts, the same knowledge of the subject, and the same spirit of
candour by which all recent French works on England have been
distinguished. We give an abridgement of the note, which, in its
original state, is extremely full, and at the same time particularly
empty.
"In looking at the state of the English marine, I turned my attention to
the _depôts_ for marine stores, which of course comprise the whole of
the naval resources of perfidious Albion. To judge of the British marine
from the state of the marine stores, nothing can be more contemptible
than the former, because nothing can be more insignificant than the
latter. I asked one of the marine-store dealers how he would provision a
man-of-war with beef for a long voyage, and he had nothing to show me
but a quantity of beef bones, which he valued at five pounds for
twopence. The English sailors, it is well known, cannot fight unless
they are maddened with grog; and I looked over the marine-store dealer's
establishment for the exciting liquid. I looked in vain; for he had only
an enormous quantity of empty bottles, some of which he told me he had
that day been purchasing. I must do the English the justice to say that
they provide well for the dressing of the wounds of their sailors, for
the marine stores include vast heaps of linen rags, some of which I
observed were brought from persons casually coming into the _depôt_ to
dispose of them.
"Being desirous of avoiding any feeling of partiality or prejudice, I
determined not to be satisfied with a mere examination of the stores,
which must constitute the true strength of a nation's marine; and I
resolved to see her vessels afloat on the Thames, for which purpose I
made for the river. I made directly for Hungerford, one of her richest
ports, and found a considerable fleet of steamers, several of which were
manned, and at work, so that I could well judge of their capabilities.
They seemed for the most part well officered, but there appeared a want
of enthusiasm among the men; and a great deal of quarrelling went on
among the various captains, which proves that the British navy is not in
that state of union which the English flag—the _Jean d'Amitie_, or Union
Jack—is emblematical of.
"Determined to give a fair trial to the merits of the British marine, I
asked of the perfidious Britons themselves which was the best boat, and
each began vociferating loudly the praises of the vessels before me, on
the deck of one of which, _L'Homme pas marié_ (the _Bachelor_), I soon
found myself. She had no guns with her, and when I asked the captain
where they were, he laughed in my face, knowing, of course that the
French Cabinet would submit to any humiliation rather than undertake a
war with his, the captain of the _Bachelor's_, Government. At Chelsea,
which is to London what Havre is to us, there was a flotilla of two
vessels, and there was a great deal of small craft lying about, which as
I passed appeared to assume an insolent attitude. On leaving the vessel
I was made to produce a portion of the ship's papers, which I had been
made to hold in my possession, and pay fourpence for before I was
permitted even to embark on board the vessel. If England still avoids a
war it is not the superiority of her craft, which is wretched enough,
but it is something more than her craft—it is her astounding cunning."