[Illustration]
The international copyright treaty with France having come into action,
several dramatic authors will be thrown out of employment.
[Illustration]
The umbrella manufacturers of the metropolis will felicitate themselves
on the prospect of a brisk demand for their merchandise.
The omnibus drivers, _blasés_ to the excitement of unchecked racing on
level ground, will avail themselves of the repairs in Fleet Street for
the purpose of a steeple chase.
* * * * *
[Illustration]
He is also nervous about the sea voyage. There can be no harm in a trip
as far as the Nore, to set him all right on his sea legs.
[Illustration]
There is no use in doing things hurriedly. Winkinson intended starting
by the next packet, but he has just learnt that it is impossible to
stand the fatigues of the diggings without drinking an enormous quantity
of peach brandy, by way of fortification. It would be madness to
commence the journey till he has seasoned himself a little to that sort
of thing.
N.B. Beards are worn at the diggings. Winkinson has allowed his to grow,
and, in consequence, forfeited his situation.
[Illustration:
THE MEMBERS OF A "CRACK" REGIMENT WILL BEHAVE IN A GALLANT AND DASHING
MANNER.
]
MAY.
THE DERBY.—OUR OWN PROPHECY.
After the announcement of our prophetic intentions, the most thrilling
anxiety will doubtless exist in the sporting world, to know what we have
to say on this important subject. To oblige so large and so respectable
a class of our readers, we have given it our closest attention.
The only matter of any importance connected with the Derby, we decline
saying anything about at all, is the name of the winner. This
comparatively slight reservation is made solely from a disinclination to
interfere with vested interests.
On the great day, Members of Parliament will insist upon a holiday,
claiming it as their right as Britons. The Right Honourable Mr. Disraeli
will remark that it is all Race.
The members of a crack regiment will amuse themselves on their return
from Epsom, by throwing brickbats, vitriol, &c. at the foot passengers.
The blame will be laid on a respectable stockbroker, who will be
imprisoned for the offence, the military gentlemen proving an _alibi_. A
weak-minded young ensign of the party having expressed some regret that
the innocent should suffer, and hinted that the real offenders ought to
give themselves up like men—will be cashiered, with a severe reprimand
from the commanding officer, for his want of _esprit de corps_ and true
gentlemanly feeling.
Several shop tills and betting-office stools will be found vacant on
settling day.
TURF MAXIM.—Never look a gift horse in the mouth without taking care of
your fingers.
[Illustration:
A NEW PICTURE WILL BE PURCHASED BY THE TRUSTEES OF THE NATIONAL
GALLERY FOR £40,000, AND WILL ATTRACT GREAT ATTENTION.
]