[Illustration: The] FORMATION of the new railway across the Isthmus of
Suez is suggestive of some curious speculation as to the mode in which
business will be conducted by the Turks, whose tree of knowledge is
rather green upon such matters, and may get its owners into a line from
which it will not be easy to extricate themselves.
The Lamp of Aladdin, of course, will be used as a safety signal, and the
bow-string (that "great moral engine" which draws everybody in the East
into one common terminus) as a signal of danger. It is also understood
that the celebrated "Slave of the Ring" will be posted by turns at the
different stations to announce the arrival of the trains; and that in
place of the electric telegraph, the celebrated telescope of Prince Ali
(which beat Lord Rosse's hollow) will be used in conjunction with the
Prince Hassein's carpet to discover accidents and despatch assistance;
while the apple of Prince Ahmed, which cured all diseases, will be used
for the relief of the sufferers. The solemnity of Eastern manners will
have a singular effect among the—to us—every-day associations connected
with railway travelling. We can fancy a director, on a dividend day,
exclaiming, "Holy Profit!" but we can _not_ fancy the chairman and
directors dining together afterwards at the Bosphorus Blackwall,
wherever that may be, without wine or whitebait, and getting through the
gormandizing process with their fingers. Then, on coming away, what a
tedious process it must be; the finding of the slippers which have been
left in the hall—an annoyance which an English director could imagine if
he had ever been obliged to leave a festive party at the Crown and
Sceptre in a small Wellington and a big Blucher, belonging to other
gentlemen. Of course, the subordinates on the line will be equally
polite with their betters. As a train arrives at a station, the Oriental
guard will rise from his chibouk, and say, with a profound salaam, "Kosh
Amedid! You are welcome!" and express a hope to the party, Pasha or
highly-fed Aga, as they alight from the first-class carrages, that their
respective shadows may never be less—which, by the way, to men who are
wont to indulge in habitual oxen, stuffed with perpetual pistachio nuts,
is rather an uncharitable wish than otherwise. Then the official will
solemnly approach the second class, and exclaim, "Mashallah, oh ye
gents—(there are doubtless gents in the East)—but are the tickets of the
faithful ready?" and add, on receiving them, "Bishmillah, the Mare of
Mahomet be praised!" To the third class, where the unbelievers will
throng, the expression will be—"Allah is great, and Mahomet is his
Prophet. Dogs of Christians, tickets!" Reversing the English custom, a
carriage must be set apart in every train for the infidels who do _not_
smoke.
[Illustration]