* * * * *
JOHN TICK, Clockmaker to the King of Loo Choo (by appointment), and
Watchmaker to the heir apparent of the King of the Cannibal Islands (by
appointment), begs to call attention to his Ne-plus-ultra never-say-die
Watch. Goes for ever without winding up—the glass can't break—it strikes
with a cathedral tone, and plays the Row Polka, and the Dead Waltz in
Saul, every alternate quarter of an hour—never needs cleaning, and the
general idea of the whole is so bright, that the dial can always be seen
distinctly in the dark. N.B. This Watch would have carried off a Council
medal, had it not been for the maker not sending it to the Exhibition.
* * * * *
FURNISHED APARTMENTS, within five minutes' walk of the Bank, the Horse
Guards, the Lambeth Union, and the Small Pox Hospital. The lodger would
have the use of the mangle. Partial Board if required. Half a slice of
bread for breakfast, and the run of the cruet-stand for dinner. No
attendance, but the lodger will be allowed to ring the bell as much as
he pleases. Apply to Mr. Smith, London.
* * * * *
TO THE BENEVOLENT.—An appeal is confidently made on behalf of a Young
Gentleman, whose cruel and unnatural father allows him only £100 a year
until he does something for himself. The merest trifle—30_s._ a-week—
will be thankfully received, and gratuities above £20 will be
acknowledged by a dinner at Verey's, to which the donor will not be
asked, but at which his health will be drank. Address Hex Why Zed, Cyder
Cellars.
(Not to be repeated.)
* * * * *
TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS.-The thinnings of a rough young Birch Wood are
on Sale. Also a cargo of Bamboos, just arrived from the Mauritius. Tawse
of superior Leather, with the ends of the tails carefully burnt, are
also constantly on Sale. Apply at Floggum Hall, Clapham.
* * * * *
TO THOSE AFFLICTED WITH DEAFNESS.—The Advertisers offers comfortable
Board and Lodging to Ladies and Gentlemen suffering as above, in his own
private family circle. The great advantage to be found in the
arrangement will be, that neither he, his wife, his eight daughters, or
his seven sons, ever say, or can be expected to say, anything.
* * * * *
_Worth hearing—Address to the Office of this Newspaper._
FRENCH IN A QUARTER OF AN HOUR, AND GERMAN IN TWENTY MINUTES.—CRAM'S NEW
METHOD. "Do you understand French?" "I understand it, but do not speak
it." How often do we hear this reply. Professor CRAM assures his Friends
and intending Pupils that in fifteen minutes he will make them speak
French as perfectly as they understand it.