FELLOW OF THE ROYAL HUMANE SOCIETY, &c., &c.
Happening to be at Ramsgate in the summer of 1844, and being much out of
spirits at the loss of 4_l._ 10_s._ in raffles, for which I had won a
card-rack—my mind, by-the-bye, has been upon the rack ever since—I
determined on availing myself of an opportunity to visit the Continent,
which the starting of an excursion boat to Calais on the following day
held out to me.
I retired to my apartment at the hotel, and was soon wrapped in the arms
of Morpheus and a pair of Witney blankets, from both of which I emerged
at six, for our vessel was chartered to start precisely at seven. Having
swallowed a hasty pint of shrimps and a rapid plate of bread and butter,
washed down by a cup of tolerable Twankay, I threw my zephyr over my
arm, lashed my hat to my button-hole by a piece of string, and flung
myself on to a camp stool near the binnacle of the packet. Our captain
was a thorough tar, with a white hat and a cotton pocket-handkerchief.
He had served (as a witness) in the action between the _Thunder_ and the
_Bachelor_, off Westminster Hall, and was continually quoting the words
of Nelson to the crew who acted under him. These consisted of a steward,
a stoker, a boy, and a common sailor; the steward steering the ship, the
common sailor taking the tickets on landing, and the boy throwing the
rope to the people on the pier at the termination of each voyage. The
gallant old captain, in quoting the exclamation of the hero of the Nile,
always interpolated two words to adapt the invigorating sentence to the
exigencies of his own craft, and was continually shouting—
"England expects that every man (_and boy_) this day will do his duty."
By this happy device of our captain the boy was inspired with the same
enthusiasm that animated the men, and the result was that the captain
was the idol of his little crew of mariners.
We left Ramsgate with a stiff hurricane all around us, steaming up in
the teeth of the wind, and a good biting breeze it seemed to promise us.
On getting outside the harbour, we lurched up to the right, then tumbled
over to the left, and pitched heavily with the vessel's head smack into
the wave, as if, like a thirsty bird, she was dipping down into the sea
to take a deep drink of it. Several of the passengers performed the same
extraordinary manœuvre, and I threw myself in helpless misery flat on
the deck, where I continued to roll backwards and forwards between the
mast and an iron grating which covered the part of the vessel containing
the machinery. I had little opportunity of cultivating the acquaintance
of my fellow-passengers, one or two of whom occasionally tumbled over
me, and I hoped if I ever tumbled over either of them in after life,
that it would be under more favourable auspices. The chief part of the
voyage was passed by me in a state of unconsciousness, and I was roused
from a sort of swoon by the information that we had arrived at the mouth
of Calais harbour, which there would be no possibility of entering.
After beating about for a space of time that I subsequently ascertained
was four hours, though it had appeared to me about forty, we put back,
and hopped, skipped, jumped, toppled, sidled, ambled, pitched, tossed,
and tumbled over the briny deep—a great deal too deep for me to trust it
again—into the harbour of Ramsgate. After getting safely on shore we all
began to abuse the captain; but the jolly old tar, placing his thumb on
the end of his nose, gave a puff at his cigar, and went below to his
dinner. One of the party, a London attorney, who had come to Ramsgate in
pursuit of health and a runaway _cognovit_, threatened the proprietors
of the packet with an action for not taking us to Calais, according to
agreement; but he had no sooner served process on the agent than he was
referred to the little words "Weather permitting," at the bottom of the
bill announcing the intended landing at Calais. This made all the
difference in the contract, for the words should have been "Weather or
no," in order to sustain the threatened action.
PROSPECTUS OF THE
MUTUAL PLATE PRESENTATION AND FRIENDLY
TESTIMONIAL ASSOCIATION.
The principle of plate presentation has never yet been thoroughly
understood, or, at all events, it has never been completely and
satisfactorily acted on. The great advantage of obtaining credit for
public and private virtues through the medium of inscriptions on cups
and snuff-boxes cannot be too seriously or emphatically insisted on. It
is therefore proposed that a society should be formed on the plan of the
United Brothers, the Associated Sons of Harmonious Freedom, and other
similar institutions, the object of the projectors being the
presentation of testimonials in honour of the private and public virtues
of the various members.
It is proposed to issue ten thousand shares of one pound each, one
shilling deposit being paid at the time of allotment. The holder of ten
shares will be entitled to a snuff-box on the death of his wife, with an
inscription eulogistic of his virtues as a "tender husband." On the
death of each child he will receive a pencil-case, with a brief allusion
to his qualities as the "best of fathers;" and on the decease of
himself, his widow will be presented with a tooth-pick in albata, having
a consolatory motto engraved on the back of it.
Applications for shares to be made at the offices of the
Electro-Mosaic-Nickel Continental and Birmingham Gold and Silver
Establishment, 0½, Houndsditch.