The returns under this head are extremely interesting, and some curious
calculations may be made from them. It appears that there is, in England
and Wales, about one lawyer to four lunatics; thus giving him a chance
of at least a couple of clients. The tables are, however, very
incomplete; for we find no account of the number of omnibus cads, who
are lumped under the head of "other educated persons." We presume that
convicts come home from transportation are included among persons
returned as independent.
RULES FOR MEDICAL STUDENTS WALKING
THE STREETS.
Take as much room on the pavement as you possibly can: if you are with
four or five friends, walk all arm-in-arm together. Don't make way for a
lady; the road is plenty wide enough for her. Joke smartly with the
cabmen, and hail every omnibus which is passing, and then walk a
different way. Ask each policeman "How's G 149?" and enter into playful
conversation with every beggar who asks you for a penny. Enter newspaper
shops to inquire the price of the "Penny Magazine," and stop outside
cookshops to imitate the action of the carver. Shriek out "Lur-li-e-ty"
as often as you please, and compliment cooks and housemaids standing at
area-gates. Stop private carriages to inquire if they are "hired," and
tap stout gentlemen on the off shoulder to enjoy their surprise when
they turn round and see no one there. Buy baked potatoes in the street
to keep your hands warm, and play at catch-ball with them as you go
along. Pelt dogs with stones, or anything else you can get; and cry
"Balloon" when there is none. Converse freely with old clothesmen, and
laugh openly at persons in distress. Stare young ladies out of
countenance, and quiz aged people on their very juvenile looks. Ring
bells vigorously as you go home of an evening, and rattle your stick
violently against the area-railings, taking good care to remove all
pewter pots that may be hanging on them.
HISTORICAL QUESTIONS:
À LA MANGNALL.
When was ginger-beer first invented?
In whose reign did the British highlow first come into use?
Who built the Elephant and Castle?
Who was the originator of the arrangement which placed "a sandwich and a
glass of ale for fourpence" within the reach of the whole population of
London?
When was the House of Hanover first brought over to England, and what is
its present address?
When was the fantail first worn, and by whom?
What were policemen invented for?
In whose reign was the unicorn attached to the British arms?
When was the Battle of the Constitution fought in the Registration
Courts?
Upon what occasion did policemen first wear Berlin gloves?
Who was the last of the outlaws, and state a few of the actions in which
he distinguished himself?
CHINESE PROVERBS,
DRAWN FROM BO-HE AND SUE-CHONG.
Never do anything hastily: remember it is the last cup of tea which is
the strongest.
Be not too prodigal: the kettle when too full puts out the fire.
A little scandal is to tea what an olive is to wine.
Butter not your bread on both sides, lest in your old age you be left
without bread to butter.
It is a wise washerwoman who knows her own twankay.
Measure your green according to your black.
Happy is he who can take the rough with the smooth—the strong hyson with
the fine pearl gunpowder.
Delays are dangerous: remember the hottest toast will get cold by
standing.
REASONS FOR CLOSING ATTORNEYS' OFFICES
AT SIX.
The lawyers' clerks, having been bitten by the linendrapers' shopmen,
have caught the fashionable mania for "shutting up at six," in order to
give them time for that mental cultivation which filling up writs,
attending before the Master, and copying bills of costs, are not likely
to facilitate.
At a recent meeting of some influential articled clerks, and a numerous
body of common-law journeymen, the following resolutions, embodying
reasons for closing attorneys' offices at six, were unanimously agreed
to:—
"1. That the study of history is conducive to the cultivation of the
mind. That the performances at Astley's begin at half-past six, and
it is desirable that the clerks who are anxious to profit by the
dramatic representation of the great historical events of our own
time, should have an opportunity of doing so.
"2. That it is perfectly true the Cider Cellars and the Coal Hole
(where the noblest study of mankind, which is universally allowed to
be man, can be effectually carried on) do not present many
attractive features till after nine in the evening. That,
nevertheless, the cigar divans are in full operation before that
hour; and it is therefore expedient that six should be the time
appointed for the cessation of business.
"3. That stout and devilled kidneys, when introduced into the animal
system too late at night, are liable to impede the action of the
digestive organs, and impair the intellectual faculties, thus
depriving the employer of the full benefit of the clerk's shrewdness
and activity. It is, therefore, of the last importance that, by an
early release from business, the stout and kidneys may be absorbed
by the gastric juices, and the gases given off, by evaporation, in
sufficient time to enable the clerk to devote a _mens sana in
corpore sano_ by ten o'clock in the morning, to the best interests
of his principal.
"4. That the Surrey Zoological Gardens afford opportunities for the
study of natural history, which can only be followed up by daylight.
That the habits of the bear, the tiger, and other animals, cannot be
said to be without interest to an attorney's clerk; and that the
knowledge of how certain savage creatures secure their prey may
hereafter be of great service in the practice of the legal
profession. It is consequently obvious that the lawyers' clerks
should be enabled to profit by so valuable a lesson.
"5. That the shooting galleries are seldom open after eight, and
that the knowledge of the use of powder and shot is essential to a
lawyer, as he will often be called upon by a client to decide
whether a defendant is worth the articles alluded to.
"6. That there are many other occasions when, by an early closing of
the office, the lawyer's clerk will have an opportunity of being
present at some—"
[Illustration:
BRITISH ASSOCIATION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF SCIENCE.
]
[Illustration:
STIRRING UP THE GREAT FIRE OF LONDON.
]