A frost of some duration will cover the twelfth-cakes of the metropolis
at the commencement of the month, which will begin to be broken up about
Twelfth Night. About the middle of the month the Humane Society will
give a grand dinner, on their retirement from public life, to the Wood
Pavement Company, in gratitude to the latter for offering superior
attraction to skaters, and taking all accidents off their hands. The
Serpentine Receiving-house will be moved to the Strand in consequence;
and the Mile End Omnibuses will furnish the drags. Several diverting
little surprises will happen in families, by the delivery of bills,
which they are either "certain they paid at the time," or "don't believe
they ever owed;" but, unfortunately, being unable to produce the
receipts, will be brutally compelled to pay them again.
Great excitement in the literary world, and especially in the magazines;
which, to give an air of novelty to the new year, will contain twenty
continuous stories each. Fearful vision of the individual who reads them
all; in which he will see the Robertses on their Travels, stopped by St.
Giles; whilst St. James is gone, with Cæsar Borgia, to pay a visit to
the Marchioness of Brinvilliers, and condole with her on the death of
Marston, who has been shot by Rowcroft's Bushranger, now under the care
of the Gaol Chaplain, whose "Revelations of London" have no effect upon
him. And the weekly press aiding this complexity, by representing Mrs.
Caudle quarrelling with Joe Miller for Rodwell's Umbrella which the
Wandering Jew gave to his Stepmother—the nightmare of the unhappy
magazine reader will be terrible indeed!
Much discord will prevail in town by reason of nocturnal bands of
disturbers of the public peace, called the Waits, who will play "Then
you'll remember me" for one hour continuously under your window; and
call a few days afterwards, to prove the truth of their musical
assertion. The juries for putting down "false weights," have no power
over the measures of these ruthless marauders.
A BAD RAILWAY ACCIDENT will happen, from a collision of two trains.