Several genteel establishments will be closed, the blinds drawn down,
and the drawing-room furniture enveloped in brown holland. In answer to
inquiries, the visitor will be informed that the family has left town
for Baden-Baden, Palermo, the Continent, or Brighton. Baden-Baden is a
small watering-place on the coast of Kent, known to the inhabitants as
Ramsgate; Palermo is an adjacent settlement, familiarly termed Margate;
"the Continent" and "Brighton" are synonyms for the two-pair back, with
the use of the attics for sleeping apartments.
The annual Scottish _fête_ will take place in Holland Park. Several
distinguished chieftains will appear in the national undress. An attempt
will be made by some energetic female missionaries to distribute Bloomer
tracts among the assembled Celts, and bring them to a sense of their
trouserless position—but will not be attended with any great success. In
order to eclipse the daring achievements of former years, a magnificent
prize will be offered to any Scot who will perform the herculean feat of
returning to his own country. There will be no candidates.
All London being at the seaside, there will be a greater quantity of
donkeys seen on the sands of Brighton and Ramsgate than usual.
Speculators on the Chain Pier will realize large fortunes by letting out
telescopes to hire during the hours devoted to bathing by the ladies.
On and before the 29th, the great question of Tenant Right will be set
at rest. The tenant, generally speaking, will remove his goods in the
night, and leave the key (not wishing to deprive the landlord of his
property) in the door. The tenant will be—_all_ Right!
[Illustration:
IT NEVER REIGNS BUT IT BORES.
]
[Illustration:
THE MOST INEXPLICABLE ATMOSPHERIC PHENOMENA WILL BE DISCOVERED BY A
DISTINGUISHED "SAVANT" ON HIS WAY HOME FROM A MEETING OF THE
SCIENTIFIC BODY TO WHICH HE BELONGS.
]