500 of
500 of the Best Cockney War Stories
作者：Various; Hamilton, Ian, 1853-1947 [Contributor]; Thomas, Bert, 1883-1966 [Illustrator]
体例：题 章数：423
字数：352,758 来源：Project Gutenberg
版本与结构
- 来源版本
- 本站收录 1 个来源：Project Gutenberg（352,758 字）。
- 分章依据
- 按「题」标记切分为 423 题（Gutenberg 卷册标记）。
- 篇幅分布
- 平均每题 833 字。
- 原文溯源
cache/epub/44263/pg44263.txt（Project Gutenberg）
章节目录
共 423 题- EDITOR'S FOREWORD
- CONTENTS
- SIR IAN HAMILTON'S STORY
- IAN HAMILTON.
- COCKNEY WAR STORIES
- 1. ACTION
- The Outside Fare
- Tale of an Egg
- A "Bow Bells" Heroine
- Samson, but Shorn
- A Very Human Concertina
- A One-Man Army
- Two Kinds of Fatalist
- The youngster replied "Yes."
- The Theatre of War
- Cricket on the Somme
- M'Lord, of Hoxton
- The Tall Man's War
- Germany Didn't Know This
- Better than the Crystal Palace
- A Short Week-end
- Simultaneous Chess
- Returning to the game, I said to my chum, "Whose move, Joe?"
- Fire-step Philosophy
- A Valiant Son of London
- A Hint to the Brigadier
- Almost Self-inflicted
- Nobby's 1,000 to 1 Chance
- That Derby Scheme
- Desert Island--Near Bullecourt
- Exit the General's Dessert
- On the Kaiser's Birthday
- To Hold His Hand
- The New Landlord
- Epic of the Whistling Nine
- Tale of a Cook and a "Crump"
- A Lovely Record
- Logic in No Man's Land
- Fousands ... and Millions
- Lost: A Front Line
- The Old Soldier Falls
- Not Meant For Him
- An Extra Fast Bowler
- I was with him when he came to, and asked him what happened.
- Attack in "Birthday Clothes"
- From Bow and Harrow
- Piccadilly in the Front Line
- Making a King of Him
- An Expert on Shells
- A Camel "on the Waggon"
- Parting Presents
- Bluebottles and Wopses
- The Cheerful "Card"
- Great Stuff This Shrapnel
- The Umpire
- The Leader of the Blind
- Pity the Poor Ducks
- Waiting Room Only
- Not Yet Blasé
- Paid with a Mills
- The Guns' Obligato
- In the Garden of Eden
- Santa Claus in a Hurry
- What Paderewski was Missing
- A Target, but No Offers
- Their own Lord Mayor's Show
- Pill-Box Crown and Anchor
- The "Garden Party Crasher"
- Those Big Wasps
- Why he Looked for Help
- The Winkle Shell
- Forgot his Dancing Pumps
- Lift Out of Order
- Lost: A Fly Whisk
- I said: "What have you lost, Tubby?"
- Change at Wapping
- That Other Sort of Rain
- Better Job for Him
- Sentry's Sudden Relief
- The World Kept Turnin'
- That Blinkin' "Money-box"
- Cool as a Cucumber
- The Sergeant's Tears
- Joking at the Last
- Everybody's War
- Orders is Orders
- Leaving the Picture
- Ginger's Gun Stopped
- A Careless Fellow
- Standing Up to the Turk
- Lodging with the Bombs
- In Fine Feather
- All the Fun of the Fair
- Teacup in a Storm
- Jack's Unwelcome Present
- Goalie Lets One Through
- A Good Samaritan Foiled
- Proof of Marksmanship
- One of my pals, named Gordon, shouted, "Give it to me; I'll go."
- Stamp Edging Wanted
- The Stocking Bomb
- Not an Acrobat
- Story Without an Ending
- Cause and Effect
- The Cockney and the Cop
- In the Drorin' Room
- Getting His Goat
- Jennie the Flier
- A Mission Fulfilled
- He Saved the Tea
- Old Dutch Unlucky
- A Long Streak of Misery
- Importance of a "Miss"
- A Case for the Ordnance
- Dismal Jimmy's Prisoner
- That Creepy Feeling
- Applying the Moral
- Spelling v. Shelling
- Too Much Hot Water
- You Must have Discipline
- L.B.W. in Mespot
- Trench-er Work
- When Clemenceau Kissed the Sergeant
- Poet and--Prophet
- Pub that Opened Punctually
- That Precious Tiny Tot
- Cigs and Cough Drops
- Back to Childhood
- The Altruist
- In the Dim Dawn
- Beau Brummell's Puttees
- Plenty of Room on Top
- Nearly Lost His Washing-Bowl
- Bath Night
- Back to the Shack
- His Last Gamble
- Playing at Statues
- Bo Peep--1915 Version
- Jerry's Dip in the Fat
- Carried Unanimously
- A Very Hot Bath
- In Lieu of ----
- Putting the Hatt on It
- Tangible Evidence
- What the Cornwalls' Motto Meant
- Atlas--On the Somme
- Putting the Lid on It
- A Tea-time Story
- A Tip to a Prisoner
- Cockney Logic
- An Appointment with his Medical Adviser
- One Up, and Two to Go
- On the Parados
- Not Croquet
- Sausages and Mashed
- Cheery to the End
- Souvenirs First
- Bill Hawkins Fights Them All
- Hide and Seek with Jerry
- Too Much for his Imagination
- The Driver to his Horse
- Two Kinds of "Shorts"
- Mespot--On 99 Years' Lease
- Missed his Mouth-organ
- Water-cooled
- Top-hatted Piper of Mons
- Two Heads and a Bullet
- Spoiling the Story
- Afraid of Dogs
- The Song of Battle
- Stalls at "Richthofen's Circus"
- Getting into Hot Water
- 2. LULL
- Rate of Exchange--on Berlin
- A Hen Coup
- A "Baa-Lamb" in the Trenches
- He Coloured
- Why the Fat Man Laughed
- Domestic Scene: Scene, Béthune
- Getting Their Bearings
- High Tea
- Lots in a Name
- Gunga Din the Second
- A Fag fer an 'Orse
- Put to Graze
- Smith's Feather Pillow
- Bombs and Arithmetic
- Help from Hindenburg
- Raised his Voice--And the Dust
- Mademoiselle from--Palestine
- Luckier than the Prince
- A Jerry he _Couldn't_ Kill
- Blinkin' Descendant of Nebuchadnezzar
- Well-Cut Tailoring
- Evacuating "Darby and Joan"
- His Deduction
- Peter in the Pool
- Where "Movie" Shows Cost Soap
- Sherlock Holmes in the Desert
- The Army "Loops the Loop"
- Repartee on the Ridge
- A New Kind of "Missing"
- Not Knowin' the Language
- Churning in the Skies
- Larnin' the Mule
- The Veteran Scored
- C. C.: Good morning, my man; do you know who is speaking to you?
- C. C.: I am your Corps Commander, Sir ----, etc.
- C. C.: I'm pleased to have this opportunity of talking to one of my men.
- C. C.: I see you are putting your back into your work.
- C. C.: I also notice that you have evidently left your gas mask behind.
- C. C.: What! Why not, my good man?
- Exit C. C.--_T. J. Gough, Oxford House, 13 Dorset Square, N.W.1._
- Old Moore Was Right
- He Wouldn't Insult the Mule
- Said the R.S.M.: "Well, Brown, what are the names of your mules?"
- Mixed History
- A Difficult Top Note
- Home by Underground
- Peering into the blackness, I called out, "Where are you?"
- A Job for Samson
- Jerry Wins a Bet
- Lucky he was Born British
- You Never Can Tell
- The Window Gazer
- Why the Attack _Must_ Fail
- The "Shovers"
- Rehearsal--Without the Villain
- Poetry Before the Push
- Rum for Sore Feet
- Two Guineas' Worth
- The Four-footed Spy
- Not Every Dog has his Night
- The Brigadier's Glass Eye
- The Chaplain-General's Story
- A Thirst Worth Saving
- Points of View
- Not the British Museum
- Chorus: "No!"
- Ten minutes later came the same voice: "Is Sergeant Fossell down there?"
- Jerry Would Not Smile
- Their Very Own Secret
- First Blow
- M.M. (Mounted Marine)
- His German 'Arp
- Jack went a-Riding
- Bitter Memories
- Tommy "Surrounded" Them
- The officer said: "Where did you find them?"
- Our officer said: "You had better leave them here for the time being."
- Shell-holes and Southend
- The Lost Gumboot
- Looking-Glass Luck
- Mine that was His
- To the General, About the Colonel
- Bow Bells--1917 Style
- The Muffin Man
- The Holiday Resort
- The "Tich" Touch
- Smart Men All
- Smoking Without Cigarettes
- An Expensive Light
- Modern Conveniences
- Tommy: "Sitting room inside, mate?"
- The Trench Fleet
- The Necessary Stimulant
- A Traffic Problem
- Met His Match
- Tommy: "'Allo, mate." (Shakes.)]
- Why Jerry was "Clinked"
- Stick-in-the-Mud
- Wheeling a Mule
- Three Brace of Braces
- The Dirt Track
- Words failed me.--_London Yeomanry, Brixton, S.W._
- Babylon and Bully
- Twice Nightly
- In Shining Armour
- Biscuits--Another Point of View
- His Bird Bath
- Ducking 'em---then Nursing 'em
- Salonika Rhapsody
- A Ticklin' Tiddler
- Biscuits and Geometry
- Officer: "Any change to-night, corporal?"
- Corporal: "Yessir!"
- Officer: "Good! What have we got?"
- All that was Wrong with the War
- Not a Single Cockney
- A Cockney on Horseback---Just
- A Too Sociable Horse
- To which the general hastily replied: "Yes, yes, my man!"
- Wipers-on-Sea
- He Rescued His Shirt
- Later the rescued one addressed his rescuer: "Thank yer, Alf, mate."
- A Smile from the Prince
- No Use Arguing with a Mule
- Kissing Time
- Per Carrier
- Straight from the Heart
- War's Lost Charm
- Taking It Lying Down
- The First Twenty Years
- Shell as a Hammer
- Sore Feet
- A Big Bone in the Soup
- He dipped the cup again and exclaimed: "'Ere, I've fahnd a big bone!"
- Scots Reveille
- In the Negative
- Watching them "Fly Past"
- High Necks and Low
- Too Light--by One Rissole
- Psyche--"at the Barf!"
- A Juggler's Struggles
- Almost a Wireless Story
- When the S.M. Got Loose
- One of our troop addressed the rider thus: "Many up there, mate?"
- The S.M. knew "Mulese"
- Lost: One Star
- Simpler than Sounding It
- Under the Cart
- The Lion Laughed up his Sleeve
- The Carman's Sarcasm
- Burying a Lorry
- Striking a Bargain
- Bugling in 'Indoostanee
- Babes in the Salonika Wood
- Bringing it Home to Him
- After the Feast
- Wait for the "Two Pennies, Please"
- The General Goes Skating
- Luck in the Family
- Not a New World's Wonder
- Lads of the Village
- Before 1914, When Men Worked
- I told him I had been in an insurance office before I joined up.
- Their Fatigue
- Teaching Bulgars the Three-card Trick
- 3. HOSPITAL
- Putting the Lid on It
- Riddled in the Sands
- Seven His Lucky Number
- Blind Man's Buff
- Self-Supporting
- In the Butterfly Division
- An Unfair Leg-Pull
- He Saw It Through
- As Good as the Pictures
- Room for the Comforter
- Temperature by the Inch
- Twenty-four Stitches in Time
- His Second Thoughts
- Hats Off to Private Tanner
- The Markis o' Granby
- A One-Legged Turn
- 4. HIGH SEAS
- The Skipper's Cigar
- Breaking the Spell
- A V.C.'s Story of Friendship
- The Stoker Sums it Up
- Channel Swimming his Next Job
- It _Was_ a Collapsible Boat
- Luck in Odd Numbers
- A Voice in the Dark
- Why the Stoker Washed
- Accounts Rendered
- An Ocean Greyhound
- Victoria! (Very Cross)
- He Saw the Force of It
- A Zeebrugge Memory
- Another Perch in the Roost
- Uncomfortable Cargo
- Good Old "Vernon"
- The Fag End
- Sure enough, soon the alarm was given, "Smoke seen on the horizon."
- A Philosopher at Sea
- Extra Heavyweight
- Three Varieties
- He was a Bigger Fish
- The "Arethusa" Touch
- His Chance to Dive
- Another Cockney (from Battersea) replied: "What abaht what?"
- Water on the Watch
- A Gallant Tar
- A Cap for Jerry
- Give 'im 'is Trumpet Back
- Getting the Range
- Coco-nut Shies
- Still High and Dry
- Trunkey Turk's Sarcasm
- Running Down the Market
- Five to One against the "Tinfish"
- A Queer Porpoise
- Interrupted Duel
- Enter Dr. Crippen
- The All-seeing Eye
- The Submarine's Gamps
- Polishing up his German
- 5. HERE AND THERE
- Answered
- A Prisoner has the Last Laugh
- Not Yet Introduced
- On the Art of Conversation
- Down Hornsey Way
- The Chef Drops a Brick
- His "Read" Letter Day
- Dan, the Dandy Detective
- The Apology
- Too Scraggy
- Commended by the Kaiser
- Only Fog Signals
- An American's Hustle
- Truth about Parachutes
- The Linguist
- Billiards isn't all Cannons
- Run?--Not Likely
- At "The Bow Bells" Concert
- A Bomb and a Pillow
- Athletics in the Khyber Pass
- Jack and his Jack Johnsons
- Even Davy Jones Protested
- Transcriber's Notes
- End of Project Gutenberg's 500 of the Best Cockney War Stories, by Various