Our cook was having the time of his life. The transition from trench
warfare to more or less open warfare in late October 1918 brought with
it a welcome change of diet in the form of pigs and poultry from the
deserted farms, and cook had captured a nice young porker and two brace
of birds.
From the pleasant aroma which reached us from the cottage as we lay on
our backs watching a German aeroplane we knew that cook would soon be
announcing the feast was ready.
Suddenly from the blue came a roar like that of an express train. We
flung ourselves into the ditch.... _K-k-k-k-r-r-r-ump!_
When the smoke and dust cleared away the cottage was just a rubbish
heap, but there was cook, most miraculously crawling out from beneath a
debris of rafters, beams, and bricks!
"Ruddy 'orseplay!" was the philosopher's comment.--_I. O., 19 Burnell
Road, Sutton, Surrey._
"---- Returns the Penny"
When my husband commanded the 41st Division in France he was much
struck by the ready wit of a private of the Royal Fusiliers (City of
London Regiment) in a tight corner.
A bomb landed in a crowded dug-out while the men were having a meal.
Everyone stared aghast at this ball of death except one Tommy, who
promptly picked it up and flung it outside saying: "Grite stren'th
returns the penny, gentlemen!" as he returned to his bully beef.--_Lady
Lawford, London, S.W.1._
"In Time for the Workman's?"
A night wire-cutting party in the Arras sector had been surprised by
daylight. All the members of the party (21st London Regiment) crawled
back safely except one Cockney rifleman.
When we had reached the trenches and found that he was missing, we were
a bit upset. Would he have to lie out in No Man's Land all day? Would
he be spotted by snipers?
After a while our doubts were answered by a terrific burst from the
German machine guns. Some of the bolder spirits peered over the top of
the "bags" and saw our Cockney pal rushing, head down, towards our line
while streams of death poured around him.
He reached our parapet, fell down amongst us in the mud, uninjured,
and immediately jumped to his feet and said, "Am I in time for the
workman's?"--_D. F., Acton, W.3._