Our company of the Middlesex Regiment had captured a hill from Johnny
Turk one evening, and at once prepared for the counter-attack on the
morrow. My platoon was busy making a trench. On the parapet we placed
large stones instead of sandbags.
During these operations we were greeted with machine-gun fire from
Johnny and, our numbers being small, we had to keep firing from
different positions so as to give the impression that we were stronger
than we really were.
It was while we were scrambling from one position to another that
"Smudger" Smith, from Hammersmith, said: "Love us, Sarge, 'ow's this
for a blinkin' game of draughts?" The words were hardly out of his
mouth when Johnny dropped a 5·9 about thirty yards away. The force of
the explosion shook one of the stones from the parapet right on to
"Smudger's" head, and he was knocked out.
When he came round his first words were: "Blimey, they must 'ave 'eard
me to crown me like that."--_W. R. Mills (late Sergt., 2/10th Middlesex
Regt.), 15 Canterbury Road, Colchester, Essex._
"Peace? Not wiv you 'ere!"
Two Cockney pals who were always trying to get the better of one
another in a battle of words by greeting each other with such remarks
as "Ain't you blinkin' well dead yet?" earned for themselves the
nick-names of Bill and Coo.
One evening they were sent to fetch water, and on the return journey
the Germans started to shell rather heavily.
Coo ran more quickly than Bill and fell into a shell-hole. He scrambled
out in time to see his pal blown sky high by what appeared to be a
direct hit.
Coo was heard to remark: "I always told 'im 'e ought to be reported
missing, and blimey if 'e ain't."
He then went to see if he could find the body: instead he found Bill
alive, though badly wounded.
When finally Coo got his pal back to the trench, Bill opened his eyes.
Seeing Coo bending over him, he said: "Lumme, I thought peace 'ad come
at last, but it ain't--not wiv you 'ere."--_William Walker, 30 Park
Road, Stopsley Road, Luton, Beds._