One afternoon in July 1917 our battalion was lying by a roadside on the
Ypres front waiting for night to fall so that we could proceed to the
front line trenches.
"Smiffy" was in the bombing section of his platoon and had a bag of
Mills grenades to carry.
Fritz began to get busy, and soon we had shrapnel bursting overhead.
"Smiffy" immediately spread his body over his bag of bombs like a hen
over a clutch of eggs.
"What the 'ell are you sprawling over them bombs for?" asked the
sergeant.
"Well," replied Smiffy, "it's like this 'ere, sergeant. I wouldn't mind
a little Blighty one meself, but I'd jest 'ate for any of these bombs
ter get wounded while I'm wiv 'em."--_T. E. M. (late London Regt.),
Colliers Wood, S.W.19._
"Minnie's Stepped on my Toe!"
We were lying in front of Bapaume in August 1918 awaiting
reinforcements. They came from Doullens, and among them was a Cockney
straight from England. He greeted our sergeant with the words, "Wot
time does the dance start?" The sergeant, an old-timer, replied, "The
dance starts right now."
So over the top we went, but had not gone far when the Cockney was
bowled over by a piece from a minnenwerfer, which took half of one foot
away.
I was rendering first aid when the sergeant came along. He looked down
and said, "Hello, my lad, soon got tired of the dance, eh?"
The little Cockney looked up and despite his pain he smiled and said,
"On wiv the dance, sergeant! I'm sitting this one aht, fer Minnie has
stepped on my toe."--_E. C. Hobbs (late 1st Royal Marine Battn.), 103
Moore Park Road, Fulham, S.W._