Somewhere in Palestine the band of a famous London division had been
called together for very much overdue practice. The overture "Poet and
Peasant" called for a French horn solo ending on a difficult top note.
After the soloist had made many attempts to get this note the
bandmaster lost his temper and gave the player a piece of his mind.
Looking at the battered instrument, which had been in France,
the Balkans, and was now in the Wilderness, and was patched with
sticking-plaster and soap, the soloist, who hailed from Mile End,
replied: "Here, if you can do it better you have a go. I don't mind
trying it on an _instrument_, but I'm darned if I can play it on a
cullender."--_D. Beland, 17 Ridgdale Street, London, E.3._
[Illustration: "... but I'm darned if I can play it on a cullender."]