One of the usual orders had come through to my battalion of the
Middlesex Regiment for a number of men to be detailed for extra
regimental duties which would be likely to take them away from the
battalion for a considerable time. The company I commanded had to
provide twenty men.
It was a golden opportunity to make a selection of those men whose
physical infirmities were more evident than the stoutness of their
hearts. Together with my company sergeant-major I compiled a list of
those who could best be spared from the trenches, and the following day
they were paraded for inspection before moving off.
As I approached, one of the men who had been summing up his comrades
and evidently realised the reason for their selection, remarked
in a very audible Cockney whisper, "What I says is, if you was to
search the 'ole of Norvern France you wouldn't find a smarter body
o' men!"--_"Nobby" (late Captain, Middlesex Regiment), Potters Bar,
Middlesex._
"You'd Pay a Tanner at the Zoo!"
During the floods in Palestine in 1917 I had to be sent down the line
with an attack of malaria. Owing to the roads being deep in water, I
was strapped in an iron chair pannier on the back of a camel. My sick
companion, who balanced me on the other side of the camel, was a member
of the London Regiment affectionately known as the Hackney Gurkhas.
The Johnnie patiently trudged through the water leading the camel, and
kept up the cry of "Ish! Ish!" as it almost slipped down at every step.
I was feeling pretty bad with the swaying, and said to my companion,
"Isn't this the limit?"
"Shurrup, mate!" he replied. "Yer don't know when yer well orf. You'd
'ave to pay a tanner for this at the Zoo!"--_Frederick T. Fitch (late
1/5th Batt. Norfolk Regt.), The Gordon Boys' Home, West End, Woking,
Surrey._