Sheared cream
Sheared cream o' wit: A classified compilation of the best wit and humor
作者：Mittler, Carl J.
体例：题 章数：56
字数：119,167 来源：Project Gutenberg
版本与结构
- 来源版本
- 本站收录 1 个来源：Project Gutenberg（119,167 字）。
- 分章依据
- 按「题」标记切分为 56 题（Gutenberg 卷册标记）。
- 篇幅分布
- 平均每题 2,127 字。
- 原文溯源
cache/epub/69216/pg69216.txt（Project Gutenberg）
章节目录
共 56 题- AUGUSTUS E. WILLSON
- The prodigal son wrote the old man as follows—
- I got religion at camp meeting the other day. Send me ten dollars.
- But the old man replied—
- I shall lecture on Keats, he replied.
- I want to get a set of lady’s furs, he said.
- I don’t, replied the other man. I think there’s a temperance lesson in it.
- As the yacht sped along there was a sudden swerve, and the helmsman said—
- I s’pose that’s her coughin’, ain’t it?
- I left my husband’s death notice here this morning, said the widow.
- I am, replied the boy, coolly.
- I owe you money, don’t I? he said to the storekeeper.
- I want to get my eyes examined.
- I cannot tell a lie; I’ve been at the office, said Henry.
- I ban got married.
- I won the woman’s state championship in our State.
- I kippled an hour only yesterday, was her unblushing reply.
- I am, was the reply.
- I merely told you to eliminate them.
- I say the acoustics are bad.
- The next day he added this, just below the sign—
- A.
- A.
- A—
- Dear Sir—
- Well, Abe, I want to borrow fifty dollars for—
- JOHN JONES.
- The firm addressed received the letter and replied as follows—
- I hear you give your little boy a quarter every week for behavior, Ignatz.
- I has a union suit, he said.
- Elizabeth gazed at the sardines in wonder, and then asked—
- I sent them a check for it, of course.
- Whereupon Hopkins, with a smile of conscious superiority, replied—
- I am on the staff of the ⸺ of Nashville. I suppose you will pass me.
- I am so afraid I won’t be dry enough to preach, he said.
- The woman did so, whereupon Jones said—
- After taking her seat, the revivalist addressed the men—
- A young officer at the front wrote home to his father—
- The answer was as follows—
- The Tipperary waiter stopped carving a turkey long enough to reply—
- The fakir hurried away, and General Blackmar said—
- When that gentleman arrived and heard the complaint, the manager said—
- Hospital Physician—Which ward do you wish to be taken to? A pay ward or a—
- I am from County Mayo.
- I hov not, said Pat.
- I hov not, your honer.
- I hov red hairs on me neck, yer honor.
- I notice she bowed to you. Is she an old acquaintance?
- Yessah, but—
- I want to be procrastinated at de nex’ corner, said Mr. Erastus Pinkly.
- IN KENTUCKY.
- A TIME IN THE KITCHEN.
- JUST NONSENSE.
- 8 2 MUCH.
- ANTHEM FOR A HAS-BEEN.
- IF I SHOULD DIE TONIGHT.