All right. I’ll tell him as soon as he comes in.
* * * * *
While a customer in one of our prominent stores on Fourth street, I saw
an unusually amazing incident. A lady of stupendous dimensions, stylishly
attired, entered the store and seated herself to be waited upon. Soon a
bald-headed clerk came up to serve her. After rejecting this pair and
that, she decided on some brown oxfords. The clerk knelt down to lace
them, and she gazed about the room. Suddenly she looked down and saw the
bald head. Thinking that it was her roller-topped knee, she modestly drew
her skirt over it.
* * * * *
Colonel Phil Thompson tells of the trials experienced by a friend of his
who recently acquired a new stenographer. The dear little thing is a
trifle weak in orthography but Thompson’s friend has been loath to call
her down, in view of the fact that she tries so hard to please. He is
too big-hearted to discharge the girl, for she needs the money; so he
corrects the spelling.
Recently, however, he was forced to call her attention to the fact that
in a letter of some seventy-five words, she had committed eight errors,
among which was “fourty”.
My, my! exclaimed the friend. This won’t do, you know; I can’t stand for
forty spelt this way!
The willing worker looked over his shoulder at the offending word;
Gracious! she exclaimed, how careless of me! I left out the “gh,” didn’t
I?
* * * * *
Ikey—I got into a fight last week, and a man kicked me in de synagogue.
Jakey—Ver is de synagogue?
Ikey—In de temple.
* * * * *
This is the true story of a resourceful motorist. Of the ethics of it,
there is no condoning. A traffic law in a New England city forbids
the parking of cars on the principal business street. A citizen who
understood this, was sure he could stop his car, deliver a message and be
back in his seat all in a moment. But he was detained. Also he forgot.
When he came out a policeman stood by his automobile. Did the man go to
his car? He did not. He hurried to his office: He telephoned to police
headquarters: My car (giving a detailed description) has been stolen.
In a half hour this reply: An officer has found your car. It is here at
headquarters. Come and get it. He did. Profuse thanks. Was it clever?
* * * * *
A certain young man wrote the following letter to a prominent business
firm, ordering a razor.
Dear Sirs—Please find enclosed 50c for one of your razors as
advertised and oblige,