How can you, she exclaimed. Think how the mother will grieve over the
loss of her eggs.
Oh, she won’t care, said the boy. She’s up there on your hat.
* * * * *
That Confederate money was never taken seriously is well illustrated in
the following story told by the late General John B. Gordon, and which,
as far as can be ascertained, has never appeared in print.
One day during a temporary cessation of hostilities between the opposing
forces a tall, strapping Yankee rode into the Confederate camp on a sorry
looking old horse to effect a trade for some tobacco.
Hullo, Yank! hailed one of a number of Confederate soldiers lolling about
on the grass in front of a tent, that’s a right smart horse you all got
there.
Think so? returned the Yank.
Yes; what’ll you take for him?
Oh, I don’t know.
Well, I’ll give you $7,000 for him, bantered the Confederate.
You go to blazes! indignantly returned the Yank; I’ve just paid $10,000
of your money to have him curried.
* * * * *
Two brothers were discussing which smelled the strongest, a goat or a
tramp. They agreed to leave it to the judge.
All right, said the judge, trot in your animals.
They brought in the goat and the judge fainted. They then brought in the
tramp and the goat fainted.
* * * * *
A party of traveling men in a Chicago hotel were one day boasting of the
business done by their respective firms, when one of the drummers said:
No house in the country, I am proud to say, has more men and women
pushing its line of goods than mine.
What do you sell? he was asked.
Baby carriages! shouted the drummer, as he fled from the room.
* * * * *
Mayor’s secretary, William P. Ryan, was commenting on the way in which
many illiterate persons seem to get along in the world, says the Chicago
Journal.
The late William J. Carrol used to tell a good story along this line,
said Mr. Ryan. He had business connected with the collection of rents
which used to take him to a certain place on the eastern shore at
intervals. On one occasion he went into a store there, the proprietor of
which could neither read nor write. While he was there a man came in who
was evidently a regular customer.