How can that be?
Well, immediately after the first bottle of wine the ship takes to water
and sticks to it ever after.
* * * * *
A man “butted in” at a waiting line before the railroad ticket window at
New York, and the men who were in a hurry glowered.
I want a ticket for Boston, said the man and put 50 cents under the
wicket.
You can’t go to Boston for 50 cents, returned the ticket seller.
Well, then, asked the man, where can I go for 50 cents?
And each of the fourteen men in that waiting room told him where he could
go.
* * * * *
But, observed the fool man who had permitted his wife to take him along
on her search for a spring bonnet, the hat doesn’t seem to fit. Now, I
think a woman’s hat should conform to her head the same as a man’s.
Oh, tittered the merry milliner, there are no fits connected with spring
hats. They generally develop in the men when the bill comes home.
* * * * *
A few days ago, says the “_Newark Star_,” Alderman Elmer A. Day was
glancing over the register at one of the local hotels to see if a friend
of his was registered there. Near him stood a man who was holding onto
the desk for dear life in a semi-successful attempt to maintain his
balance.
I s’pose you think I’m drunk? said the stranger, looking belligerently at
Day.
No; not in the least, replied the Alderman, anxious to avoid the
possibility of a row.
Well, you’d know I was if I let go this desk, answered the man.
* * * * *
I visited Miss Marie Corelli when I was in Stratford, said a young woman.
She lives in a quaint house of dull red brick. She is very pretty and
very rich, and she likes Americans.
Miss Corelli was full of fun. She talked about woman’s over-regard for
appearances. She said that she herself was too prone to think that, if
appearances were all right, everything was right.
Once, in her childhood, Miss Corelli said she was yachting on the English
coast.