The projektor iz a man with one idee, and that idee iz often like a
paving stun, the hardest kind ov a thing tew hatch out, and when it iz
hatched out, yu kan't alwus tell what kind ov a breed the thing iz.
He haz been bizzy at work for the last 4 thousand years trieing tew bild
perpetual moshun, and haz cum within 3 quarters ov an inch ov it sevral
times, but alwus slips up jist az he reaches out tew grab it.
He haz dun sum dredful good things for mankind, but too often iz ov no
more use in the world, than an extra pump iz.
The projektor iz alwus a man ov genius, but hiz genius iz frequently
like the genius ov a goose, thare ain't no one kan beat them at standing
on one legg.
I hav known theze breed ov pholks tew drag out a long life, richer in
their own estimashun than Croesus, and poorer in the opinyun ov others
than Lazarus.
They seldum reap enny gain from their invenshuns, and if ever they do
diskover perpetual moshun, they will sell the principle tew sum kunning
kuss, for 17 or 18 dollars, and starve tew death on the glory ov it.
I hav known several ov these poor phellows in mi life, and only knew
them tew pitty them, for they are az tender, all over, az spring lam,
and az eazy tew cheat az a blind baby.
I hav a friend who iz a projektor. I kant tell what partikular pholly he
iz at work at now, but sum one I am sure, for thare aint on the whole
arth, a more bizzy kritter than the man, who iz sure that to-morrow will
put the finishing touches tew hiz pattent rite plan, for threading the
rong end ov a kambrik needle, or his resipee for making soft sope out ov
calfs liver.
But we kant spare the projektors, all that we can hope for iz, that too
menny ov them wont spend a whole life in making a juse harp that will
play Yankee doodle backwards, and finally die, and leave the tune haff
finished.