The loafer iz a human being who iz willing tew be dispized just for the
privilege ov abuzing others.
He occupys all grades in sosiety, from the judge on the bench klean doun
to the ragged thing in britches who leans aginst a lamp-post and fites
flys in August.
[Illustration: FREQUENT KRITTERS.]
He haz hiz circle ov friends, whare hiz koarse jests are re-echoed, and
whare to be in hiz konfidence iz konsidered an honor.
He iz not alwus destitute ov kommon sense, and quite often iz the author
ov jests which pass upon the unwary for humor and even wit.
He haz no pride that is worthy, and haz no delikasy that enny boddy kan
hurt.
During hiz boyhood he kills kats and sells their hides to the hatters,
and robs all the hens' nests and arly apple trees in the naborhood.
During hiz middle life he begs all the tobacco he uses, and drinks all
the cheap whisky he kan at sumboddy else's expense.
During hiz old age he winters in the alms-houses, and summers in the
sugar hogsheds, and when he comes tew die he iz buried in a dich, like
an omnibus hoss, with hiz old shoes on.
This iz a trew ackount ov the life and adventures ov the ordinary
loafer, and yet there are thousands ov human kritters coming onto the
platform ov life every six months whoze only ambishun iz to be
successful loafers.
The loafer kares nothing for publik opinyun, and this alone, will make
any man a loafer.
The loafer rather covets disgrace ov all kinds, and when a man gits az
low down az this, he haz got az low down az he kan git without digging.