When a rooster crows, he crows all over.
A _poor, but dishonest cuss_ iz about az low down az enny man kan git,
unless he drinks whiskee too.
Error will slip thru a crack, while truth will git stuck in a doorway.
The man who haz just found out he kant afford tew burn green wood haz
taken hiz fust lesson in ekonemy.
Thare iz only one thing that kan beat truth, and that iz he who alwus
speaks it.
It iz hard work, at fust sight, tew see the wisdum ov a rattle snaik
bite, but thare iz thousands ov folks who never think ov their sins
untill they are bit bi a rattle snaik.
Thare iz a grate deal ov human natur in a krab, if yu don't pick them up
in the right way, yu will diskover it.
I think now, if i had all the money that iz due me, i would invest it in
a saw mill, and then "let her rip."
Take the humbugg out ov this world, and yu wont hav mutch left tew do
bizzness with.
When we say, "such a man haz bowels ov mercy," do we mean tew be
understood that he iz a light eater?
Faith and curiosity are the gin cocktails ov suckcess.
Advertising iz sed tew be a certain means of success; sum folks are so
impressed with this truth, that it sticks out ov their tombstun.
Thare iz this diffrence between ignorance and error; ignorance iz stone
blind, and error iz near-sighted; ignorance stands still and error only
moves to run agin a post.
Economy iz a savings bank, into which men drop pennys, and git dollars
in return.
There iz one thing yu kant put out, and that iz yure conscience; yu may
smother it, but a coal pit, it kontains the charred remains.
The two richest men now living in Amerika that i kno of, iz the one who
haz got the most money and the other who wants the least; and the last
one iz the happiest ov the two.