Thare iz a grate deal ov humin natur in a stik of mollassis kandy, I
judge this, bekauze mi little grandson iz alwus reddy tew invest hiz
only penny in it.
I don't kno az i want tew bet enny money, and giv odds, on the man, who
iz alwus anxious tew pray out loud, every chance he kan git.
Praze and abuse, are both good in their place, but if I kan't hav but
one, give me the abuse.
[Illustration: MOLLASSIS KANDY.]
Nine men, out ov every 10, that yu meet in New York City, are in a grate
hurry, and are either mad, petulant, or sassy, and the reazon iz they
are all ov them in pursuit ov munny, and only one out ov 10 gits it.
Next tew the man who iz wuth a millyun, in point ov wealth, iz the man,
who don't kare a kuss for it.
A reputashun for happiness needs az mutch watching az a reputashun for
honesty.
When yu strike ile, stop boring, menny a man has bored klean thru, and
let all the ile run out at the bottom.
I hav spent a large porshun ov mi life in hopeing, and praying that
every boddy mite be suckcessful, and happy, and i intend tew spend a
grate deal more time in the same bizzness, but i am satisfied that the
philosophy ov the whole thing iz kontained in this passage, "_the devil
take the hindmost_."
Success don't konsist in never making blunders, but in never making the
same one the seckond time.
He who trusts tew luck for his happiness, will be lucky when he gits it.
While we are poor, the necessarys ov life are the luxurys, after we git
ritch, the luxurys are the necessarys.
Thare is no such thing az gitting tew the top ov the ladder in this
world, if we reach the utmost round, then we mourn bekauze the ladder
aint longer.
Death iz an arrow, shot into a crowd, the only reazon whi it hit
another, iz bekauze it missed us.
When a man duz a good turn, just for the phun ov the thing, he haz got a
grate deal more virtew in him, than he iz aware ov.
The man who haz got a mote in hiz eye, kan alwus see a big beam in hiz
brothers.
Az a genral thing, we envy in others, not what we aint got, but what we
hav got less than others.
The only thing about a man that sin haz not, and kan not pervert, iz hiz
conshience.
Dissatisfackshun with everything we cum akrost iz the result ov being
dissatisfied with ourselfs.
Just edzakly in proporshun that a man undertakes tew make a reputashun
bi hiz personal appearance, just in that proporshun, he iz a dead beat.
Early genius iz like early cabbage, don't head well.
It iz a grate deal more eazier tew drop down 10 feet on a ladder, than
it iz tew highst up 5; i found this out more than 7 years ago.
Menny a man haz lost a good posishun in this world, bi letting go, tew
spit on hiz hands.
Go up hill as fast az you pleaze, but go down hill slo.
About all that iz left for an old man in this world, iz an obituary
notiss.
Sedate yung men make imbecile old ones.