——They are somehow or other deceived, said my uncle _Toby_, in this
matter, as is plain to me from the present miserable state of military
architecture amongst them; which consists of nothing more than a fossé
with a brick wall without flanks—and for what they gave us as a bastion
at each angle of it, ’tis so barbarously constructed, that it looks for
all the world—————Like one of my seven castles, an’ please your honour,
quoth _Trim._
My uncle _Toby_, tho’ in the utmost distress for a comparison, most
courteously refused _Trim_’s offer—till _Trim_ telling him, he had half
a dozen more in _Bohemia_, which he knew not how to get off his
hands——my uncle _Toby_ was so touch’d with the pleasantry of heart of
the corporal——that he discontinued his dissertation upon
gun-powder——and begged the corporal forthwith to go on with his story
of the King of _Bohemia_ and his seven castles.
THE STORY OF THE
KING OF BOHEMIA AND
HIS SEVEN CASTLES,
CONTINUED
THIS unfortunate King of _Bohemia_, said _Trim_,——Was he unfortunate,
then? cried my uncle _Toby_, for he had been so wrapt up in his
dissertation upon gun-powder, and other military affairs, that tho’ he
had desired the corporal to go on, yet the many interruptions he had
given, dwelt not so strong upon his fancy as to account for the
epithet——Was he _unfortunate_, then, _Trim?_ said my uncle _Toby_,
pathetically——The corporal, wishing first the word and all its
synonimas at the devil, forthwith began to run back in his mind, the
principal events in the King of _Bohemia_’s story; from every one of
which, it appearing that he was the most fortunate man that ever
existed in the world——it put the corporal to a stand: for not caring to
retract his epithet——and less to explain it——and least of all, to twist
his tale (like men of lore) to serve a system——he looked up in my uncle
_Toby_’s face for assistance——but seeing it was the very thing my uncle
_Toby_ sat in expectation of himself——after a hum and a haw, he went
on——
The King of _Bohemia_, an’ please your honour, replied the corporal,
was _unfortunate_, as thus——That taking great pleasure and delight in
navigation and all sort of sea affairs——and there _happening_
throughout the whole kingdom of _Bohemia_, to be no sea-port town
whatever——
How the duce should there—_Trim?_ cried my uncle _Toby;_ for _Bohemia_
being totally inland, it could have happen’d no otherwise——It might,
said _Trim_, if it had pleased God——
My uncle _Toby_ never spoke of the being and natural attributes of God,
but with diffidence and hesitation——
——I believe not, replied my uncle _Toby_, after some pause—for being
inland, as I said, and having _Silesia_ and _Moravia_ to the east;
_Lusatia_ and _Upper Saxony_ to the north; _Franconia_ to the west; and
_Bavaria_ to the south; _Bohemia_ could not have been propell’d to the
sea without ceasing to be _Bohemia_——nor could the sea, on the other
hand, have come up to _Bohemia_, without overflowing a great part of
_Germany_, and destroying millions of unfortunate inhabitants who could
make no defence against it——Scandalous! cried _Trim_—Which would
bespeak, added my uncle _Toby_, mildly, such a want of compassion in
him who is the father of it——that, I think, _Trim_——the thing could
have happen’d no way.
The corporal made the bow of unfeign’d conviction; and went on.
Now the King of _Bohemia_ with his queen and courtiers _happening_ one
fine summer’s evening to walk out——Aye! there the word _happening_ is
right, _Trim_, cried my uncle _Toby;_ for the King of _Bohemia_ and his
queen might have walk’d out or let it alone:——’twas a matter of
contingency, which might happen, or not, just as chance ordered it.
King _William_ was of an opinion, an’ please your honour, quoth _Trim_,
that every thing was predestined for us in this world; insomuch, that
he would often say to his soldiers, that “every ball had its billet.”
He was a great man, said my uncle _Toby_——And I believe, continued
_Trim_, to this day, that the shot which disabled me at the battle of
_Landen_, was pointed at my knee for no other purpose, but to take me
out of his service, and place me in your honour’s, where I should be
taken so much better care of in my old age——It shall never, _Trim_, be
construed otherwise, said my uncle _Toby._
The heart, both of the master and the man, were alike subject to sudden
over-flowings;——a short silence ensued.
Besides, said the corporal, resuming the discourse—but in a gayer
accent——if it had not been for that single shot, I had never, ’an
please your honour, been in love——