Souse! replied the corporal—over head and ears! an’ please your honour.
Prithee when? where?—and how came it to pass?—I never heard one word of
it before; quoth my uncle _Toby:_——I dare say, answered _Trim_, that
every drummer and serjeant’s son in the regiment knew of it——It’s high
time I should——said my uncle _Toby._
Your honour remembers with concern, said the corporal, the total rout
and confusion of our camp and army at the affair of _Landen;_ every one
was left to shift for himself; and if it had not been for the regiments
of _Wyndham, Lumley_, and _Galway_, which covered the retreat over the
bridge _Neerspeeken_, the king himself could scarce have gained it——he
was press’d hard, as your honour knows, on every side of him——
Gallant mortal! cried my uncle _Toby_, caught up with enthusiasm—this
moment, now that all is lost, I see him galloping across me, corporal,
to the left, to bring up the remains of the _English_ horse along with
him to support the right, and tear the laurel from _Luxembourg_’s
brows, if yet ’tis possible——I see him with the knot of his scarfe just
shot off, infusing fresh spirits into poor _Galway_’s regiment—riding
along the line—then wheeling about, and charging _Conti_ at the head of
it——Brave, brave, by heaven! cried my uncle _Toby_—he deserves a
crown——As richly, as a thief a halter; shouted _Trim._
My uncle _Toby_ knew the corporal’s loyalty;—otherwise the comparison
was not at all to his mind——it did not altogether strike the corporal’s
fancy when he had made it——but it could not be recall’d——so he had
nothing to do, but proceed.
As the number of wounded was prodigious, and no one had time to think
of any thing but his own safety—Though _Talmash_, said my uncle _Toby_,
brought off the foot with great prudence——But I was left upon the
field, said the corporal. Thou wast so; poor fellow! replied my uncle
_Toby_—So that it was noon the next day, continued the corporal, before
I was exchanged, and put into a cart with thirteen or fourteen more, in
order to be convey’d to our hospital.
There is no part of the body, an’ please your honour, where a wound
occasions more intolerable anguish than upon the knee——
Except the groin; said my uncle _Toby._ An’ please your honour, replied
the corporal, the knee, in my opinion, must certainly be the most
acute, there being so many tendons and what-d’ye-call-’ems all about
it.
It is for that reason, quoth my uncle _Toby_, that the groin is
infinitely more sensible——there being not only as many tendons and
what-d’ye-call-’ems (for I know their names as little as thou
dost)——about it——but moreover * * *——
Mrs. _Wadman_, who had been all the time in her arbour—instantly
stopp’d her breath—unpinn’d her mob at the chin, and stood upon one
leg——
The dispute was maintained with amicable and equal force betwixt my
uncle _Toby_ and _Trim_ for some time; till _Trim_ at length
recollecting that he had often cried at his master’s sufferings, but
never shed a tear at his own—was for giving up the point, which my
uncle _Toby_ would not allow——’Tis a proof of nothing, _Trim_, said he,
but the generosity of thy temper——
So that whether the pain of a wound in the groin (cæteris paribus) is
greater than the pain of a wound in the knee——or
Whether the pain of a wound in the knee is not greater than the pain of
a wound in the groin——are points which to this day remain unsettled.