——’Tis as bad as twenty, replied my uncle _Toby_——thou should’st have
carried him back some seven or eight hundred years out of harm’s way,
both of critics and other people: and therefore I would advise thee, if
ever thou tellest it again——
——If I live, an’ please your honour, but once to get through it, I will
never tell it again, quoth _Trim_, either to man, woman, or
child——Poo—poo! said my uncle _Toby_—but with accents of such sweet
encouragement did he utter it, that the corporal went on with his story
with more alacrity than ever.
THE STORY OF THE
KING OF BOHEMIA AND
HIS SEVEN CASTLES,
CONTINUED
THERE was, an’ please your honour, said the corporal, raising his voice
and rubbing the palms of his two hands cheerily together as he begun, a
certain king of _Bohemia_——
——Leave out the date entirely, _Trim_, quoth my uncle _Toby_, leaning
forwards, and laying his hand gently upon the corporal’s shoulder to
temper the interruption—leave it out entirely, _Trim;_ a story passes
very well without these niceties, unless one is pretty sure of
’em——Sure of ’em! said the corporal, shaking his head——
Right; answered my uncle _Toby_, it is not easy, _Trim_, for one, bred
up as thou and I have been to arms, who seldom looks further forward
than to the end of his musket, or backwards beyond his knapsack, to
know much about this matter——God bless your honour! said the corporal,
won by the manner of my uncle _Toby_’s reasoning, as much as by the
reasoning itself, he has something else to do; if not on action, or a
march, or upon duty in his garrison—he has his firelock, an’ please
your honour, to furbish—his accoutrements to take care of—his
regimentals to mend—himself to shave and keep clean, so as to appear
always like what he is upon the parade; what business, added the
corporal triumphantly, has a soldier, an’ please your honour, to know
any thing at all of _geography?_
——Thou would’st have said _chronology, Trim_, said my uncle _Toby;_ for
as for geography, ’tis of absolute use to him; he must be acquainted
intimately with every country and its boundaries where his profession
carries him; he should know every town and city, and village and
hamlet, with the canals, the roads, and hollow ways which lead up to
them; there is not a river or a rivulet he passes, _Trim_, but he
should be able at first sight to tell thee what is its name—in what
mountains it takes its rise—what is its course—how far it is
navigable—where fordable—where not; he should know the fertility of
every valley, as well as the hind who ploughs it; and be able to
describe, or, if it is required, to give thee an exact map of all the
plains and defiles, the forts, the acclivities, the woods and morasses,
thro’ and by which his army is to march; he should know their produce,
their plants, their minerals, their waters, their animals, their
seasons, their climates, their heats and cold, their inhabitants, their
customs, their language, their policy, and even their religion.
Is it else to be conceived, corporal, continued my uncle _Toby_, rising
up in his sentry-box, as he began to warm in this part of his
discourse—how _Marlborough_ could have marched his army from the banks
of the _Maes_ to _Belburg;_ from _Belburg_ to _Kerpenord_—(here the
corporal could sit no longer) from _Kerpenord, Trim_, to _Kalsaken;_
from _Kalsaken_ to _Newdorf;_ from _Newdorf_ to _Landenbourg;_ from
_Landenbourg_ to _Mildenheim;_ from _Mildenheim_ to _Elchingen;_ from
_Elchingen_ to _Gingen;_ from _Gingen_ to _Balmerchoffen;_ from
_Balmerchoffen_ to _Skellenburg_, where he broke in upon the enemy’s
works; forced his passage over the _Danube;_ cross’d the _Lech_—push’d
on his troops into the heart of the empire, marching at the head of
them through _Fribourg, Hokenwert_, and _Schonevelt_, to the plains of
_Blenheim_ and _Hochstet?_——Great as he was, corporal, he could not
have advanced a step, or made one single day’s march without the aids
of _Geography._——As for _Chronology_, I own, _Trim_, continued my uncle
_Toby_, sitting down again coolly in his sentry-box, that of all
others, it seems a science which the soldier might best spare, was it
not for the lights which that science must one day give him, in
determining the invention of powder; the furious execution of which,
renversing every thing like thunder before it, has become a new æra to
us of military improvements, changing so totally the nature of attacks
and defences both by sea and land, and awakening so much art and skill
in doing it, that the world cannot be too exact in ascertaining the
precise time of its discovery, or too inquisitive in knowing what great
man was the discoverer, and what occasions gave birth to it.
I am far from controverting, continued my uncle _Toby_, what historians
agree in, that in the year of our Lord 1380, under the reign of
_Wencelaus_, son of _Charles_ the Fourth——a certain priest, whose name
was _Schwartz_, shew’d the use of powder to the _Venetians_, in their
wars against the _Genoese;_ but ’tis certain he was not the first;
because if we are to believe Don _Pedro_, the bishop of _Leon_—How came
priests and bishops, an’ please your honour, to trouble their heads so
much about gun-powder? God knows, said my uncle _Toby_——his providence
brings good out of every thing—and he avers, in his chronicle of King
_Alphonsus_, who reduced _Toledo_, That in the year 1343, which was
full thirty-seven years before that time, the secret of powder was well
known, and employed with success, both by Moors and Christians, not
only in their sea-combats, at that period, but in many of their most
memorable sieges in _Spain_ and _Barbary_—And all the world knows, that
Friar _Bacon_ had wrote expressly about it, and had generously given
the world a receipt to make it by, above a hundred and fifty years
before even _Schwartz_ was born—And that the _Chinese_, added my uncle
_Toby_, embarrass us, and all accounts of it, still more, by boasting
of the invention some hundreds of years even before him——