—_De gustibus non est disputandum;_—that is, there is no disputing
against HOBBY-HORSES; and for my part, I seldom do; nor could I with
any sort of grace, had I been an enemy to them at the bottom; for
happening, at certain intervals and changes of the moon, to be both
fiddler and painter, according as the fly stings:—Be it known to you,
that I keep a couple of pads myself, upon which, in their turns, (nor
do I care who knows it) I frequently ride out and take the air;—though
sometimes, to my shame be it spoken, I take somewhat longer journies
than what a wise man would think altogether right.—But the truth is,—I
am not a wise man;—and besides am a mortal of so little consequence in
the world, it is not much matter what I do: so I seldom fret or fume at
all about it: Nor does it much disturb my rest, when I see such great
Lords and tall Personages as hereafter follow;—such, for instance, as
my Lord A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, and so on, all
of a row, mounted upon their several horses,—some with large stirrups,
getting on in a more grave and sober pace;——others on the contrary,
tucked up to their very chins, with whips across their mouths, scouring
and scampering it away like so many little party-coloured devils
astride a mortgage,—and as if some of them were resolved to break their
necks.——So much the better—say I to myself;—for in case the worst
should happen, the world will make a shift to do excellently well
without them; and for the rest,——why——God speed them——e’en let them
ride on without opposition from me; for were their lordships unhorsed
this very night—’tis ten to one but that many of them would be worse
mounted by one half before tomorrow morning.
Not one of these instances therefore can be said to break in upon my
rest.——But there is an instance, which I own puts me off my guard, and
that is, when I see one born for great actions, and what is still more
for his honour, whose nature ever inclines him to good ones;—when I
behold such a one, my Lord, like yourself, whose principles and conduct
are as generous and noble as his blood, and whom, for that reason, a
corrupt world cannot spare one moment;—when I see such a one, my Lord,
mounted, though it is but for a minute beyond the time which my love to
my country has prescribed to him, and my zeal for his glory
wishes,—then, my Lord, I cease to be a philosopher, and in the first
transport of an honest impatience, I wish the HOBBY-HORSE, with all his
fraternity, at the Devil.
“My Lord,
I MAINTAIN this to be a dedication, notwithstanding its singularity in
the three great essentials of matter, form and place: I beg, therefore,
you will accept it as such, and that you will permit me to lay it, with
the most respectful humility, at your Lordship’s feet—when you are upon
them,—which you can be when you please;—and that is, my Lord, whenever
there is occasion for it, and I will add, to the best purposes too. I
have the honour to be,
_My Lord,
Your Lordship’s most obedient,
and most devoted_,
_and most humble servant_,
TRISTRAM SHANDY.”