of the wife's proper sphere of activity. His life is essentially an
outdoor one. The market place, a the law courts, the numerous colonnades,
are the centres of his activity, where he passes his time in attending
to business, in discussing politics, in telling or hearing some new
thing. His recreations consist in visiting the _palaestrae_ or the
_gymnasia_, the clubhouses of ancient Greece, and in participating with
his chosen friends in banquets at which beautiful flute players and
cultivated hetaerae afford pastime and amusement. He passes but little
time at home.
Meanwhile, the wife superintends the slaves and assigns them their
several duties; she looks after the stores, utensils, and furnishings of
the household; she presides over the kitchen; she nurses the sick; and,
above all, she devotes her attention to the careful rearing of the
children, whose prattle breaks the otherwise monotonous existence of the
women's apartments. Occasionally, she visits her friends, or receives
them in her house; but the gathering of women was discouraged by the
husbands, who believed the effect of gossip to be matrimonial
discontent.
Religious ceremonies occupied a large part of feminine life, and women
over sixty might attend any funerals to which inclination called them;
and funerals among the Greeks, save in isolated cases, were not
hopelessly solemn affairs. These elderly women were also privileged to
attend memorial exercises in honor of the distinguished dead, and it was
on an occasion such as this that Thucydides puts into the mouth of
Pericles the famous dictum, expressing so aptly the Athenian conception
of the ideal woman: "The best wife is the one of whom the least is said,
either of good or evil." The tortoise was the symbol of feminine
life--the creature that never goes out of her shell. Lycurgus draws a
dramatic picture of the receipt of the news at Athens of the fateful
day at Chaeronea, when the Athenian women stood in the doors of their
houses, making inquiries concerning husbands and brothers and fathers,
but not, as might have been expected, gathering in the streets to
discuss the terrible tidings.
Although their opportunities for social life were so limited, the
Athenian women devoted much time to their toilet. Bathing was a daily
habit, and was attended by anointing with oils and fragrant essences.
The dignity and grace of Athenian dress are admirably illustrated by the
drapery of the female forms which support the roof of the southern
portico of the Erechtheum. The tunic, with its overhanging _diplois_,
fastened round the hips by means of a girdle, was gracefully arranged in
symmetrical folds. Linen was usually the material employed, and white
was the favorite color among modest Greek women; yet particolored
Oriental garments were also worn. Dresses were frequently adorned with
inwoven patterns and attached borders and embroideries. The outer
garment was the mantle, or _peplos_, shaped like a shawl and capable of
a variety of picturesque drapings. The headdress of women was simple.
Hats were not worn, except on journeys, and, beyond the customary veil,
the chief ornament was a band for holding together the plentiful hair.
This was frequently knotted at the top of the head and fastened by pins
of gold and silver, the tops of which were shaped like the pineapple or
the lotus flower; sometimes the front hair was arranged in small
ringlets, while the back hair partly fell smoothly over the neck, and
partly descended below the shoulders in long curls. Frequently, ribbons
were used to bind the hair, adorned, where it rested on the forehead,
with a plaque of metal formed like a frontal, called the _stephane_; or
a band of cloth or leather was used, broad in the centre and growing
narrower at the ends, styled _sphendone_ from its similarity to a
sling. Sandals were the usual form of footwear, and variety was given by
the length and graceful folding of the straps. Exquisite simplicity was
also seen in the jewelry. The chief ornament was the necklace; these
were sometimes composed of balls of gold and garnets intermingled, or of
emeralds alternating with fine pearls and attached by little chains.
Bracelets owe their Greek name to the form they were generally
given--that of a serpent. They were usually worn on the wrist, sometimes
on the upper arm, and sometimes even about the ankle. At times,
bracelets were merely circlets of gold. Sometimes they were adorned with
medallions at intervals, sometimes they were set with emeralds, garnets,
or pearls. The ear-rings were of graceful form, sometimes representing a
swan in black enamel, with bill, wings, feet, and tail of gold,
sometimes a dove on a delicate pedestal, a bunch of grapes with a golden
stem, or a sphinx, or a panther's head. The clasps or buckles which
bound the tunic or the peplus, usually shaped in the form of an arc,
exhibited rare beauty. Rings, set with carnelian, agate, sardonyx,
amethyst, and other gems, and brooches of every variety, completed the
ornaments in the jewel cases of the Athenian women.
In disclosing the secrets of the Athenian toilet, love of truth compels
us to state that these fair dames had recourse to the use of cosmetics,
perhaps to overcome the paleness of complexion incident to lack of
outdoor life. Cheeks and lips were given a ruddy hue by the use of
_minium_, or the root of the alkanet; eyebrows were darkened by applying
pulverized antimony; and dark hair could be changed to blonde by the use
of a certain powder, which gave a golden tint, much sung of by poets.
When one reads of the great attention paid by the Athenian women to the
cultivation of grace of form, of taste in dress, and of beauty of
feature, it is hard to realize that such charms were confined to the
women's apartments, and merely revealed themselves to the outside world
on festive occasions.
Though the gallantry of modern times was not a part of the habitual
equipment of an Athenian gentleman, yet he was very careful as to his
behavior in the presence of ladies. There was strict observance of the
etiquette which controlled the relations of the sexes. No gentleman
would enter an abode of women in the absence of the master, and
unbecoming language in the presence of women was a gross offence. The
husband carefully abstained in his wife's presence from doing anything
that might lower her estimation of his dignity. A certain distance was
apparently maintained between married persons, and cordial familiarity
was sometimes sacrificed to love of social forms. No doubt, too, fine
breeding and true courtesy were generally shown the wife and ruler of
his home by the Athenian husband who, like Agathon in the _Symposium_ of
Plato, exhibited the most delicate tact and sentiment in his treatment
of men.
In the peaceful atmosphere of the home, the Athenian gentlewoman was
expected to live an irreproachable life. Infidelity on the part of the
husband was regarded as a venial office, but the wife who violated her
marriage vows was punished with the most terrible disgrace. Should she
marry again, the man who ventured to wed her was disfranchised. She was
to all intents and purposes an outcast from society. If she appeared in
a temple, she might be subjected to any indignity short of death.
Furthermore, a man could divorce his wife on the slightest pretext;
while the wife, to obtain a divorce, was compelled to lodge with the
archon a complaint against her husband and a prayer for the return of
her dowry, and in the ensuing process she was subjected to many delays
and inconveniences. Then, as she was still a minor in the eyes of the
law, a wife who had left her husband was obliged to return to a state of
tutelage under her father or brother; and many a suffering wife endured
in silence neglect or ill usage rather than thus return to her father's
control. Yet many a high-spirited woman revolted against the
infidelities of her husband. The saddest incident of this marital
inequality that we find in Greek literature is the story of Alcibiades's
wife, Hipparete, and her case shows how difficult it was for a wife to
assert her rights. Hipparete's early death leaves on the reader the
impression that her heart was broken by her brilliant husband's
inconstancy and brutality.
"Hipparete," writes Plutarch, "was a virtuous and dutiful wife, but at
last growing impatient because of the outrages done to her by her
husband's continual entertaining of hetaerae, strangers as well as
Athenians, she departed from him and retired to her brother's house.
Alcibiades seemed not at all concerned at this, and lived on still in
the same luxury; but the law required that she should deliver to the
archon, in person, and not by proxy, the instrument by which she claimed
a divorce; and when, in obedience thereto, she presented herself before
the archon to perform this, Alcibiades came in, caught her up, and
carried her home through the market place, no one daring to oppose him
or to take her from him. She continued with him till her death, which
happened not long after, when Alcibiades had gone to Ephesus."
We find in Xenophon's remarkable treatise on _Domestic Economy_ an
interesting description of the method pursued by a model Greek gentleman
in training for her domestic duties his young wife, a tender girl of
fifteen, reared under the strictest restraint to the end that she might
"see as little, hear as little, and ask as few questions as possible."
He was not content that his young wife should simply know the ordinary
household duties of spinning and weaving, and directing her maid, but he
wished to educate her so that she might have larger conceptions of her
sphere as well as the ability to understand what was desirable for the
happiness of both. The account which the model husband, Ischomachus,
gives in his dialogue with Socrates of his experience in wife training
throws many sidelights on the marriage relations of the Athenians and
the philosophy of their system. As soon as the child-wife was properly
domesticated, so that she dared to converse freely, her husband began to
talk to her of their mutual responsibilities and to inculcate those
lessons which would be to their mutual advantage. She was now, he goes
on, the mistress of his house; henceforth everything should be theirs in
common--the caring for their fortune, as well as the education of the
children whom the gods might grant them. He will never question which of
them has done the more to increase their common store, but each shall
strive to contribute largely to that fortune.
The young wife, in her astonishment at such words, asks: "How can I help
you in this, or wherein can the little power I have do you any good? For
my mother told me that both my fortune as well as yours was wholly at
your command, and that it must be my chief care to live virtuously and
soberly."
ISCHOMACHUS.--This is true, good wife; but it is the part of a sober
husband and virtuous wife not only to preserve the fortune they are
possessed of, but to contribute equally to improve it.
WIFE.--And what do you see in me that you believe me capable of
assisting in the improvement of your fortune? ISCHOMACHUS.--Use your
endeavor, good wife, to do those things which are acceptable to the gods
and are appointed by the law for you to do.
WIFE.--And what are those things, dear husband?
Ischomachus then enumerates the things which are acceptable to the gods
and appointed by the law, and determines the limits which separate the
duties of man from those of woman. He says: "The wisdom of the divinity
has prepared the union of the two sexes, and has made of marriage an
association useful to each one,--a union which will secure for them, in
their children, support in their old age.
"It is man's duty to acquire food, to be busied with field work, to care
for flocks, and to defend himself against enemies. Therefore the god has
given him strength and courage. The woman must care for and prepare the
food, weave garments, and rear the children. Therefore the god has given
her a delicate physique which will keep her in the home, an exquisite
tenderness of heart which brings about her maternal care and love and a
watchful vigilance for the safety of her little ones.
"Since they are united for their common advantage, they are endowed with
the same faculties of memory and diligence. Both are endowed with the
same force of soul to refrain from things harmful, and the one who
practises this virtue the more has, by the grace of the divinity, the
better recompense. However," he adds, "as they are not equally perfect,
they have the more occasion for each other's assistance; for when man
and woman are thus united, what the one has occasion for is supplied by
the other."
Ischomachus then shows that in well performing their respective
functions husband and wife conform themselves to the rules of the good
and the beautiful. If the wife leave the home, or the husband remain
there, he or she is violating the laws of nature. He compares the duties
of the wife to those of the queen bee, which, without leaving the hive,
extends her activity around her, sends others to the field, receives and
stores away provisions as they are brought, watches over the
construction of cells, and brings up the little bees.
There is one duty of which he tells her with hesitation--the caring for
the slaves when they may be ill. But to his great joy she responds:
"That is surely an act of charity, and becoming every good-natured
mistress, for we cannot oblige people more than by helping them when
they are sick. This will surely engage the love of our servants to us
and make them doubly diligent to us on every occasion."
He answers: "By reason of the good care and tenderness of the queen bee,
all the rest of the hive are so affectionate to her, that whenever she
is disposed to go abroad the whole colony belonging to her accompany and
attend upon their queen."
The thought of being queen startles the young girl, whose education has
taught her that passive obedience is the first duty of a wife. Her
husband has placed in her hands a sceptre which she thinks herself
unable to wield. She therefore says:
"Dear Ischomachus, tell me, is not the business of the mistress bee what
you ought to do rather than myself? or have you not a share in it? For
my keeping at home and directing my servants will be of little account,
unless you send home such provisions as are necessary to employ us."
ISCHOMACHUS.--And my providence would be of little use, unless there is
one at home who is ready to receive and take care of those goods that I
send home. Have you not observed what pity people show to those who are
punished by being sentenced to pour water into sieves until they are
full? The occasion of pity is because those people labor in vain.
WIFE.--I esteem those people to be truly miserable who have no benefit
from their labors.
[Illustration 176 _THE GRECIAN TOILETTE From an antique vase The Greek
women took great care of their bodies. It was their habit after bathing
to anoint themselves with perfume, pastes or liquids, pomades, and oils.
Nos. 1, 2 and 6 exhibits the basin, supplied with perfumed water. The
figure at No. 6 is washing from her hair the color of powder which had
been applied the evening before. The colors used might be black, red,
silver, gold, or any other tint, according to taste. The eyebrows were
tinted to harmonize. Nos. 9 and 10 represent the application of oil,
which followed completion of the coiffure. Nos. 3 and 4 exhibit the
slave's simple dress and the rich transparent costume of the lady. The
mirrors, Nos. 4, 5, and 11, were framed in ivory or chiselled silver,
ornamented with precious stones. One of the fetes in honor of Minerva
was that of the Parasols, which were often made of silk, see No. 7._]
ISCHOMACHUS.--Suppose, dear wife, you take into your service one who can
neither card nor spin, and you teach her to do those things, will it not
be an honor to you? Or if you take a servant who is negligent and does
not understand how to do her business, or has been given to pilfering,
and you make her diligent and instruct her in the manners of a good
servant, and teach her honesty, will you not rejoice in your success,
and will you not be pleased with your action? So, when you see your
servants sober and discreet, you should encourage and show them favor.
But those who are incorrigible and will not follow your directions you
must punish. Consider how laudable it will be for you to excel others in
the well-ordering of your house. Be therefore diligent, virtuous, and
modest, and give your necessary attendance on me, your children, and
your house, and your name shall be honorably esteemed, even after your
death; for it is not the beauty of your face and form, but your virtue
and goodness, which will bring you honor and esteem that will last
forever."
Thus does he conclude his first discourse with his wife on the subject
of her duties, and she is diligent to learn and to practise what has
been taught her. When, a little later, he asks her to find him a parcel
which he had brought home, and she, with flushed cheeks and troubled
look, has to confess that she is unable to find it, he takes this
occasion to talk to her on order and harmony in all things. He tells her
not to be grieved over her failure to find the parcel, as it is his
fault for not having assigned a definite place for each thing. He shows
her how everything is perfectly arranged in a chorus, in a large army,
and in the crew of a vessel, that all may be done harmoniously and in
order. "Let us therefore fix upon a proper place where our stores may be
laid up, not only in security, but where they may be so disposed that we
may know where to look for every particular thing. By this means, we
shall know what we gain and what we lose; and in surveying our
storehouses, we shall be able to judge what is necessary to be brought
in or what may want repairing and what will be impaired by keeping."
With the simplicity natural to men of high intelligence, he does not
hesitate to confess that he finds beauty even in kitchen utensils
orderly arranged.
The young wife is enchanted at his idea, and they go through the house
assigning a place for each thing; they distribute duties to the slaves,
and give them other instructions, with the endeavor to win their
affections and elevate their characters. Ischomachus then tells her that
all care will be useless if the mistress of the house do not watch to
see that the established order is not disturbed. Comparing her to
magistrates who make the laws of a city respected, he adds: "This, dear
wife, I chiefly commend to you, that you may look upon yourself as chief
overseer of the laws within our house."
He tells her that it is within her jurisdiction to oversee everything in
the house, as a garrison commander inspects his soldiers; that she has
as great power in her own home as a queen, to distribute rewards to the
virtuous and diligent and to punish those who deserve it. He desires her
not to be displeased that he has intrusted more to her than to any of
the servants, for they have not the same incentive to preserve those
things which are not their own but hers.
Up to this time, it is the loving and inexperienced child who has been
conversing with her husband. Now, it is the woman, the mistress of the
house, who says:
"It would have been a great grief to me if, instead of those good rules
you instruct me in for the welfare of our house, you had directed me to
have no regard to the possessions I am endowed with; for as it is
natural for a good woman to be careful and diligent about her own
children rather than to have a disregard for them, so it is no less
agreeable and pleasant to a woman, who has any share of sense, to look
after the affairs of her family rather than to neglect them."
The great Socrates admires much the wisdom of his friend's wife, and
adds, asking Ischomachus to continue the narrative: "It is far more
delightful to hear the virtuous woman described than if the famous
painter Zeuxis were to show me the portrait of the fairest woman in the
world."
This dialogue between husband and wife is doubtless typical of the
relations between married couples in the Athenian household, and in the
girl-wife one may recognize the innocence and ingenuousness of the
average maiden of fifteen transferred from the seclusion of her girlhood
life at home to the seclusion of married life in her husband's house. It
is noticeable that in the training provided by Ischomachus no provision
whatever is made for intellectual discipline, or for social obligations,
which leaves the reader to infer that the career of the wife was to be a
purely domestic one, and that her aspirations must be confined within
the walls of her house.
While such implicit obedience was the rule, however, there were notable
exceptions to such ingenuousness on the part of the wife, and there were
doubtless many instances where the wife was the ruling power of the
household because of mental superiority, domineering disposition, or
amount of dower. Human nature is much the same the world over, and
strong personality in women demanded expression in ancient as well as in
modern times. It is also true that there were instances of beautiful
affection between husband and wife, though the fact that such were much
talked of proves that conjugal love was the exception, not the rule.
It is a pity that we do not know more of the wives and sisters and
mothers of great Athenians, as the few of whom we know are of unusual
interest. Many wives enjoyed the hearty admiration and companionship of
their husbands. Cimon, in spite of occasional lapses on his part, had an
unusually passionate affection for his wife, Isodice, and was filled
with bitterest grief at her death. Socrates mentions Niceratus as "one
who was in love with his wife and loved by her." There is a pleasing
anecdote of Themistocles, told us by Plutarch, which shows where in his
household lay the seat of authority. "Laughing at his own son, who got
his mother, and, through his mother, his father also, to indulge him, he
told him he had the most power of anyone in Greece, 'for the Athenians
command the rest of Greece, I command the Athenians, your mother
commands me, and you command your mother.'"
Plutarch also relates of the great statesman that of two who made love
to his daughter, he preferred the man of worth to the one who was rich,
saying that he desired a man without riches rather than riches without a
man! The most pleasing, however, among the wives of great Athenians is
the wife of Phocion, the incorruptible, as she is presented to us in the
pages of Plutarch. The latter describes Phocion's simple way of living,
and speaks of his wife as employed in kneading bread with her own
hands. "She was," he continues, "renowned no less among the Athenians
for her virtues and simple living than was Phocion for his probity." It
happened once when the people were entertained with a new tragedy, that
the actor, as he was about to enter the stage to perform the part of a
queen, demanded to have a number of attendants, sumptuously dressed, to
follow in his train; and when they were not provided, he became sullen
and refused to act, keeping the audience waiting, till at last
Melanthius, who had to furnish the chorus, pushed him on the stage,
crying out: "What! don't you know that Phocion's wife is never attended
by more than a single waiting-woman, but you must needs be grand, and
fill our women's heads with vanity?" This speech, spoken loud enough to
be heard, was received with great applause. Phocion's wife herself once
said to a visitor from Ionia, who showed her all her rich ornaments made
of gold and set with jewels, her wreaths, necklaces, and the like: "For
my part, all my ornament is my husband Phocion, now for the twentieth
year in office as general at Athens."
Aristotle said many things which are quoted as suggesting his low
estimate of the weaker sex, but he loved with great tenderness his wife
Pythias, niece and adopted daughter of his friend Hermias, ruler of
Atarneus and Assos in Mysia. When she died after a few brief years of
wedded life, Aristotle gave directions that at his own death the two
bodies should be placed side by side in the same tomb. When his own
death came, he left behind a second wife, Herpyllis, whose virtues he
esteemed, and he besought his friends to care for her, and to provide
her with another husband should she wish to marry again.