Up mighty betimes, and after a four Miles' Walk, losing Weight like a
Jockey, to the Palace Yard of St. James's Palace, to see the Soldiers
mount Guard to guard the QUEEN, which they do every Morning whether she
is there or no, and is a pretty pompous Ceremony. Found myself among as
dirty shabby a Set of Fellows hanging about as I think I ever saw, with
whom two or three with the Look of Gentlemen, and a pretty Sprinkling of
Milliner-Girls and Nurse-Maids. Strange how all Women almost do run
after Soldiers; which MR. PUMPKYNS do say is because Weakness do, by
Instinct, seek the Protection of Courage; but I think is owing to
nothing at all but the Bravery of a Red Coat. In a few Minutes more
Riff-Raff pouring in; then a Noise without of drumming: and then just at
1/4 to 11, a Party of the Grenadier Guards marching in under the
Clock-Tower, the Drums and Fifes in Front of them, and, at the Head of
all, the Drum Major, twirling his Staff, strutted like a Pouter-Pigeon,
as stately, almost, as ever I saw J. BLAND. The Men at the Word of
Command ground arms with a Clang, and stood at Ease in Lines, and
together with the Spectators made a Square, with the Drums and Fifes at
one End, and the Band at the other by the Clock-Tower, and a Post in the
Middle, and around the Post, with the Colours, the Officers in full
Figg, mighty trim; and MR. WAGSTAFFE do tell me that the Guards have
brave clothing Colonels. The Band did play while the Men that should
relieve Guard were marching off; and I do muse why Soldiers are provided
with so much Musique, and conclude it is to hinder them from thinking,
and also in Battle to inflame their Minds without making them drunk. At
five Minutes to the Hour comes the relieved Guard, and draws up ready to
be marched away, and to see them backing for Room on the Crowd's Toes!
Droll, also, to watch the Marshalman, in his grand Uniform and with his
Staff of Office, going about to make Space and keep Order among the
ragged Boys; and I remember how, in my Youth, I thought he was a General
Officer. More Musique, in the Meanwhile, by the Band; the Band-Master, a
rare plump Fellow, in goodly Condition, conducting, with a Clarionet for
his Batoon. Suddenly the Musique cut short by the Drums and Fifes, the
Word given, and the Men did fall in, and away to Barracks, a Grand March
playing, and all the Tag-Rag at their Heels. But to see the Lieutenant,
the Officer of the Day, set up the Colours on the Post, and touch his
Cap and kiss his Sword to them, saluting them, which do seem a senseless
Pantomime. Besides, the Flag, a most old and sorry one, blown into
Tatters, which, in our long Peace, must have been done by the Breeze and
not the Battle; but so left, with a Grenadier to guard it, sticking in
the Post. Then the Officer did dismiss the Off Guard, and away to his
Quarters for the Day. Methinks that mounting Guard at the Palace is a
Service of little Danger or Hardship; but, good Lack! to think what
Fire-eaters in Battle are the Dandy Officers of the Guards, and how
their Men will follow them through thick and thin, and what Work those
Fellows can do when called on, that play Soldiers about St. James's!
[Illustration: _A PROSPECT OF A FASHYONABLE HABERDASHER HYS SHOPE._