Finding Fault with my Wife, for that she do not use enough Exercise;
whence her continual Headach, and FADDELL, the 'Potticary his bill of
L5. She replying that I would never take her out, I said I would,
whenever she liked; whereupon, we agreed to go a Walk forthwith, and my
Wife did propose Regent Street. So we thither, pleasing ourselves with
observing the Passers-by and the Carriages, and the Streets blazing with
fine Ladies and flaming Liveries. Going by LINDSEY AND WOOLSEY'S, my
Wife's Eye taken with a Scarf in the Window, and would stop to look at
it with a Crowd of other Women gazing at the Finery, which MR. SKITT do
call Baits, and a Draper's Shop a Lady-Trap. Presently she recollected
that she wanted a Collar; so we into the Shop, where some sixty or
eighty Ladies sitting before the Counters, examining the Wares, busy as
Blue-Bottle Flies at a Sugar-Cask. Behind the Counters the Shopmen and
Assistants, showing off the Goods, and themselves also, with mighty
dainty Airs, every one of them, almost, NARCISSUS his Image. One of
these dapper young Sirs did help my Wife to her Collar, cost 3s. 6d.;
when she thought she had better get another while about it, cost 3s. 6d.
more. Then, says he, in his soft condoling Voice, "What is the next
Article?" Hereupon, my Wife bethought her of lacking some Lace Cuffs,
four Pair: cost 12s. "And now, Mem," says the young Fellow with a
Simper, "allow me to show you a Love of a Robe, a Barege, Double Glace,
brocaded in the Flouncings, and reduced to Twenty-One-and-Six from
Forty-Five." But she professed that she needed it not: whereat I was
glad; when he did tell her he would do it at One-and-Four less: and she
then saying that it was indeed a Bargain, which I find is a Woman's Word
for anything cheap whether wanted or no, I let her have it: cost L1, 0s.
2d. But, to be sure, the Pattern was pretty, and my Wife being
well-dressed do please my Taste, and also increase my Consequence and
Dignity. The Robe bought, it comes into her Head that she could not do
without a new Shawl to match it, blue and scarlet, cost L2, 2s., but
will look mighty fine, and, I hope, last. Here I thought to hale her at
once by Force away; but seeing a stout middle-aged Gentleman doing the
very Thing, and how mean it looked, did forbear; and in the Meanwhile
the Shopman did beg, as he said, to tempt her with a superior Assortment
of Ribbons. She rummaging over this Frippery, I to gaze about the Shop,
and with Fellow-Feeling did mark an unhappy small Boy, while his Mother
was comparing some three-score different Pieces of Satin, perched on a
Stool, out of Patience. My Wife would have 5s. worth of Ribbons, and
here I hoped would make an End; but the Shopman did exhibit to her some
Silk Stockings; and I telling her they were unnecessary, she declared
that then she must wear Boots, which she knows I hate; and concluded
with buying half a Dozen Pair, cost 24s.; and we away, bowed out of the
Shop with Congees by the smirking Shopwalker, rubbing his Hands and
grinning, as obsequious as could be; and so Home; I mighty serious,
having laid out L5, 10s. 2d.; and the next Time I take out my Wife for a
Walk, it shall be in the Fields and not in Regent Street.
[Illustration: _REGENTE STRETE AT FOUR OF YE CLOCKE, P.M._