Prevailed upon by my Wife to carry her to Bath, as she said, to go see
her Aunt DOROTHY, but I know she looked more to the Pleasure of her Trip
than any Thing else; nevertheless I do think it necessary Policy to keep
in with her Aunt, who is an old Maid and hath a pretty Fortune; and to
see what Court and Attention I pay her though I do not care 2d. about
her! But am mightily troubled to know whether she hath sunk her Money in
an Annuity, which makes me somewhat uneasy at the Charge of our Journey,
for what with Fare, Cab-Hire, and Vails to DOROTHY'S Servants for their
good Word, it did cost me altogether L6, 2s. 6d. To the Great Western
Station in a Cab, by Reason of our Luggage; for my Wife must needs take
so many Trunks and Bandboxes, as is always the Way with Women: or else
we might have gone there for 2s. 6d. less in an Omnibus. Did take our
places in the First Class notwithstanding the Expense, preferring both
the Seats and the Company; and also because if any Necks or Limbs are
broken I note it is generally in the Second and Third Classes. So we
settled, and the Carriage-Doors slammed to, and the Bell rung, the Train
with a Whistle off like a Shot, and in the Carriage with me and my Wife
a mighty pretty Lady, a Frenchwoman, and I did begin to talk French with
her, which my Wife do not well understand, and by and by did find the
Air too much for her where she was sitting, and would come and take her
Seat between us; I know, on Purpose. So fell a reading the _Times_, till
One got in at Hanwell who seemed to be a Physician, and mighty pretty
Discourse with him touching the Manner of treating Madmen and Lunatics,
which is now by gentle Management, and is a great Improvement on the old
Plan of Chains and the Whip. Also of the Foulness of London for Want of
fit Drainage, and how it do breed Cholera and Typhus, as sure as rotten
Cheese do Mites, and of the horrid Folly of making a great Gutter of the
River. So to Swindon Station, where the Train do stop ten Minutes for
Refreshment, and there my Wife hungry, and I too with a good Appetite,
notwithstanding the Discourse about London Filth. So we out, and to the
Refreshment-Room with a Crowd of Passengers, all pushing and jostling,
and trampling on each other's Toes, striving which should get served
first. With much Ado got a Basin of Soup for my Wife, and for myself a
Veal and Ham Pie, and to see me looking at my Watch, and taking a
Mouthful by Turns; and how I did gulp a Glass of GUINNESS his Stout!
Before we had half finished, the Guard rang the Bell, and my Wife with a
start did spill her Soup over her Dress, and was obliged to leave Half
of it; and to think how ridiculous I looked, scampering back to the
Train with my Meat-Pie in my Mouth! To run hurry-skurry at the Sound of
the Bell, do seem only fit for a Gang of Workmen; and the Bustle of
Railways do destroy all the Dignity of Travelling; but the World
altogether is less grand, and do go faster than formerly. Off again, and
to the End of our Journey, troubled at the Soup on my Wife's Dress, but
thankful I had got my Change, and not left it behind me at the Swindon
Station.
[Illustration: _YE BRYTYSH GRANADIERS AMOUNTYNGE GUARD AT ST. JAMES HYS
PALACE YARDE._