Sahib, can I describe to you the passions which then burned in my
heart? I cannot. A thousand thoughts whirled through my brain, till I
thought myself mad; perhaps I was. Revenge for my father was uppermost;
and oh that I could have got loose: by Alla! unarmed as I was, methinks
I would have sprung on the Rajah and strangled him. But resistance was
unavailing; the more I struggled, the tighter my arms were bound, until
they swelled so that the pain became excruciating, and I well nigh sunk
under it. I suffered my guards to lead me away from the Durbar; I was
thrust into a vile hole, and at last my arms were unbound.
That day--Alla, how it passed! Men gazed at me in my cage as though
I had been a tiger, and mocked and derided me. The boys of the town
hooted me, and thrust sticks at me through the iron gratings. One and
all reviled me in the most opprobrious terms they could devise,--me!
the respectable, nay the wealthy, to whom they had bowed before, when
I basked in the sunshine of the Rajah's favour--but I was degraded
now. Alas! my dreams, my forebodings had come to pass--they had been
indefinite shadows--this was the reality. Alla! Alla! I raved, I called
upon Azima's name, I implored those who still lingered about my prison
to fly and bring me news of her, and to comfort her; and I cursed them
when they derided me, and mocked my cries. Azima, the name that might
not have been breathed by mortal out of the precincts of my zenana,
became a word in the mouths of the rabble, and they jested on it, they
loaded it with obscene abuse, and I heard it all. In vain I strove to
stop my ears,--it provoked them the more; they shouted it close to the
iron bars and spat at me. Night came, and I was left in my loneliness.
I should have been in her fond embrace--now I shared the company of
the rat, the lizard, and the scorpion. It was in vain that I courted
sleep, to steep my senses in a temporary oblivion of their misery; my
frame was too strong, and my anguish too great, for it to come to me.
I wrestled with my agony, but I overcame it not, and I had to drink
the bitter cup to the dregs. At last the morning broke; I performed
the Namaz: the dust of the floor served me instead of sand or water
for my ablutions. Water I had none; I had begged for it, for my mouth
was parched and dry with anxiety, yet no one gave it. Again the court
was filled; old and young, women and children, all came to look at the
Syud--to look at Ameer Ali the Thug--to deride him, and torment him!
But I was now sullen; like a tiger, when his first rage, after he has
been entrapped, has subsided, I cowered into the corner of my cell, and
covered my face with my waistband, nor heeded their savage unfeeling
mirth, nor the bitter words they poured out against me. In vain was
it that I now and then looked around to see whether one kind pitying
glance rested on me. Alas! not one; every face was familiar to me, but
the eyes either spoke a brutal satisfaction at my sufferings, or turned
on me with the cold leaden stare of indifference. I tried to speak
several times, but every murmur was hailed with shouts from the rabble
before me, and my throat was parched and my tongue swelled from raging
thirst.
The whole day passed--I had no food, no water. It was in the height of
the burning season, and I, who had been pampered with luxuries, who
in my own abode should have drunk of refreshing sherbets, prepared by
Azima, was denied a drop of water to cool my burning throat. In vain I
implored those nearest to me, in words that would have moved aught but
hearts of stone, to intercede with the Jemadar who guarded my prison
to allow me a draught of the pure element. I might as well have spoken
to the scorching blast that whistled into my cage, bringing with it
clouds of dust, which were increased by the unfeeling boys when they
saw I shrank from them. Thus the day passed: evening came, and still
no water, no relief, no inquiry into my condition. Had I been placed
there to die? And no sooner had the thought flashed across my mind than
I brooded over it. Yes, I was to die! to expire of thirst and hunger;
and then, oh how I envied my father's fate! his was a quick transition
from the sorrows and suffering he had undergone during one short hour,
to Paradise and the houris.
And from evening, night, I had watched the declining sun, till its
last fiery and scorching beams fell no longer on my prison-floor--I
watched the reddened west until no glare remained, and one by one the
stars shone out dimly through the thick and heated air--and I thought I
should see the blessed day no more, for I was sick and exhausted even
to death. I lay me down and moaned, in my agony of spirit and of body,
and at last sleep came to my relief. For a time all was oblivion; but
horrible dreams began to crowd my prison with unsightly shapes and
harrowing visions; my life passed as though in review before me, and
the features of many I had strangled rose up in fierce mockery against
me,--faces with protruding tongues and eyes, even as I had left them
strangled.
Why describe them to you, Sahib? why detain you with a description of
the horrors of the scenes which rose to my distempered fancy, and at
last woke me, burning as though a fire raged in my bowels, and would
not be quenched? But morning broke at last, and the cool air once more
played over my heated and fevered frame, and refreshed me. Yet I was
still in agony;--who can describe the sufferings of thirst? Hunger I
felt not: thirst consumed me, and dried up my bowels. How anxiously and
impatiently I looked for the first man who should enter the court where
my prison was! One came, he passed through and heeded not my piteous
cries: another and another: none looked on me, and again I thought I
was to die. Another came; I called, and he turned to regard me. He was
one that I knew, one who had eaten of my bread and my salt, and had
been employed about my house, and he had pity; he had a remembrance of
what I had done for him: he came, and looked on me. I spoke to him,
and he started, for my voice was hollow, and thin and hoarse. "Water!"
cried I, "for the sake of the blessed Prophet, for the sake of your
mother, one drop of water! I have tasted none since I was confined."
"Alas!" said he in a low tone, "how can it be, Meer Sahib? the Rajah
has threatened any one with death who speaks to you or brings you food."
Again I implored; and I who had been his master prostrated myself on
the ground and rubbed my forehead in the dust. He was moved--he had
pity and went to fetch some; fortunately no one saw him, and he brought
a small earthen pot full, which I drank as though it had been that of
the well of Paradise. Again and again he took it and refilled it; and
at last he left me, but not before he had promised to visit me in the
night, bring me a cake of bread if he could, and, more than all, news
of Azima and of my house.
The next day passed, and I had no food. I treasured up the water which
had been left with me and sipped it now and then; but by nightfall
again I was in torment. Yet I had hopes, for I knew that the young man
would not deceive me; he had sworn by his mother's head to bring me
food, and he could not break his oath.
And he came. I had sat watching, with that anxiety which can only be
known by those who have been in a situation like mine, listening to
every distant footfall, to every noise, as though it were the step of
him I looked for. I have said he came; he was muffled in a blanket, and
had stolen in unobserved by the lazy sentinel at the gate; he brought
me food, a few coarse cakes, and an earthen pot of milk. "Eat!" said he
in a low tone; "I will sit here, and will tell you the news you bade me
inquire for afterwards. I was ravenous, and I ate; coarse bread, such
as I should have loathed three days before, was now a luxury, sweet and
grateful; I ate it, drank the milk, and was thankful; and I called him
and blessed him for his venturous daring, and for his gratitude to one
who could no longer do him a kind turn. "And the news, Gholam Nubbee?
can you tell me aught of _her_ and my child?"
"My news is bad, Meer Sahib, and I am the unwilling messenger of
tidings which will grieve your soul and add to your misery."
"Say on," said I: "tell me the worst; tell me she is dead, and you will
only say what my soul has forewarned me of."
He paused for a while. "You must know it sooner or later, Meer
Sahib--she is dead."
"And my child?" "She is with the good Moola who protected your wife
when she had no longer a house to cover her, and who performed the last
rites of our faith to her when she was dead."
"No home!" cried I; "they did not drive her forth?"
"They did, Meer Sahib. The Rajah sent soldiers, your house was stripped
of everything, and your gold and silver, they say, was a prize he
little expected; your wife and child were turned into the street, with
only the clothes they had upon their persons. But to her it little
mattered, for I have heard she never spoke from the time she knew of
your father's fate and the cause of your imprisonment. They say she
sat in stupor, like a breathing corpse, without speaking a word to say
where her pain was."
"Enough!" said I, "go; may Alla keep you! I would now be alone, for
grief sits heavy on me."
Then she was dead--my Azima, my beloved!--she for whom I could myself
have died,--she whom I had loved as man can only love once--she was
dead; she had known that I was a Thug, and that had killed her. It
was well--better far that she should have died, than lingered on to
be scoffed at and insulted as the wife of one who was now a convicted
murderer. Had she lived I could never have dared to approach her, for
she was pure, and I--!
I may say I almost rejoiced at her death, Sahib; I did not grieve
as I should have done had the blow fallen on me while I was yet in
prosperity--then it would have been hard indeed to bear; but now I was
altered, and she was dead, and again I say it was well. Alla in his
mercy had taken her from her scene of suffering, almost before she knew
to its full extent the horrible reality. And my child too was safe; she
was in friendly hands, and the Moola would be a father to her.
The day after the nocturnal visit of my humble friend, food was allowed
me; it was scanty to be sure, but still I existed, though worn down
by sufferings, which I have no words to express, to a shadow of what
I was. Three months passed thus, and they appeared to me like years
when I looked back on them. At the end of this time I was taken to
the Rajah's Durbar. Few were the words he spoke to me, but those were
bitter ones; for he had shared my spoil, taxed me for protection, and,
after putting my father to death, he had plundered my home, and his
booty was the accumulation of mine for years past. I say my father, and
yet he had told me he was not my parent. But what mattered that now?
he was dead, and the mystery of my birth, if any had ever existed, was
gone with him. What mattered it too who was my father? I was alone in
the world; not a tie, save one, bound me to existence. My daughter was
with strangers, and in a few years she would forget me,--truly I might
say I was alone.
I was in the Rajah's Durbar--I had no friend; no one of all those
by whom he was surrounded, who had formerly courted me, eaten of my
bread, and flattered me that I was yet to rise to greatness under his
patronage--not one spoke for me, not one interceded to avert my shame.
The Rajah spoke to me. "Ameer Ali," said he, "I had trusted thee, I had
thought thee honest (how he lied as he spoke!), I had believed thee a
rich and fortunate merchant; but, O man! thou hast deceived me, and not
me alone, but thousands, and thou art a Thug and a murderer. Still,
because I have a lingering sentiment of kindness towards thee, I do not
seek thy death; justice has been satisfied in the destruction of the
hoary villain who made thee what thou art, and who led one who might
have been an ornament to the world to be a wretch upon whose head is
the blood of hundreds. Yes, Ameer Ali, I speak truth, and thou knowest
it. And though I desire not thy death, yet thou canst not be released
without a mark on thy brow that men may know and beware of. Throw him
down," cried he to the attendants, "and let him be branded!"
They threw me down. Sahib, what could my attenuated and wasted frame do
against men who had suffered no misery like mine? I struggled, yet it
was unavailing; they held my arms, and legs, and head, and a red-hot
pice was pressed upon my forehead; it was held there as it burnt down
to the bone, ay, my very brain seemed to be scorched and withered by
the burning copper. They took it off, and raised me up. Alla! Alla! the
agony that I endured--the agony of pain, and, more than that, of shame;
to be branded publicly that the world might think me a thief; to have a
mark set on my forehead that I must carry to my grave--a mark only set
on the vile and on the outcasts from society. Sahib, it was a bitter
cup to quaff!
"Away with him!" cried the Rajah, "away with him! Release him at the
boundary of my territory. And mark me," he continued, addressing
himself to me, "I have given thee thy life, Ameer Ali; go and be wise;
learn by what has happened to be an honest man for the future; and,
above all, remember that if ever thou art seen in Jhalone again, or in
any of my towns or villages, nothing will be able to save thee from the
feet of an elephant."
He rose and strode out of the Durbar; and, in pain and misery, I was
conducted in two days to the frontier of his country and unbound. Two
rupees were given to me, and again the wide and cruel world was before
me. I hurried from my late keepers. I bound my turban over my still
burning and aching brow, so that man might not see my shame, and took
the road before me. I wandered almost unconscious of anything, save the
pain I was suffering, until night fell around me, and I directed my
steps to a village, the lights of which were a short distance before
me. Exchanging one of my rupees, I sat down at the shop of a Bhutteara
and satisfied my craving appetite. There I slept, and when I arose I
was refreshed, and again believed myself to be Ameer Ali. The morning
breeze blew fresh on my face as I took my way out of the town; the
refreshing rest of the night had invigorated me, and I bounded along
with a light heart--yes, with a light heart,--for I was free! I had
no thought for the past now. It was my fate which had been fulfilled:
what had been written in my destiny had come to pass. As I proceeded, a
jackass brayed on my right hand, and I hailed the favourable omen with
a joy I can feebly express. Yes, great Bhowanee, mother of men! cried
I, aloud, I answer to thy omen; I am ready, and again devoted to thy
service. I have sinned against thee; I had wilfully avoided thy warning
omens, led on by an irresistible destiny and by a proud heart. I have
been punished, and have bought a dear experience; but henceforward no
votary of thine breathing shall excel Ameer Ali in devotion to thee;
and therefore, great goddess, vouchsafe the Thibao and Pilhaoo. And
they were granted; the omen on the right was followed by that on the
left, and I felt that I was pardoned, and again accepted as a Thug.
And so you believe, Ameer Ali, said I, that your not observing the
omens in the instances you related was the cause of your father's death
and your misfortunes?
Assuredly, Sahib; I was a sceptic till then, as I have told you, but I
was now no longer one; had I not cause to believe in the truth of the
omens? And had I obeyed them then should I have the heavy crime I had
committed still rooted in my heart? No, no! omens cannot, dare not be
disobeyed; and I have never known an instance in which they were, or
where a band had been led to destroy a person against the wishes of
Bhowanee, that they were not all punished by her vengeance, either with
domestic misfortune, imprisonment, or death. Ask any Thug you know, and
he will tell you the same. I never doubted omens afterwards, and have
allowed some rich prizes to escape me, because I feared that they were
not completely propitious.
Well, Sahib, to continue. I pressed forward; I again untied my roomal,
for that had never quitted my waist, and I welcomed it to my grasp
as I should have done the embrace of an old and valued friend. With
such omens, thought I, I cannot be unsuccessful; and over any single
traveller, were he Roostum himself, I can gain a victory. I had but one
rupee and some pice; my clothes were in rags about me, and I must have
others before I could venture to associate myself with Thugs, and hope
to lead them.
But I travelled long, and met no person alone; and when noon came, and
the sun's heat had overcome me, I lay down under a tree by the road
side near which was a well; and having washed and bathed and said the
Namaz, I waited to see what chance would throw in my way. There I sat
a long time, but no one passed me, and overcome by fatigue I dropped
asleep. I was awakened by a touch from some one, and looking up I
beheld a middle-aged Mussulman gazing upon me. I arose rapidly, and
returned his "Salam Aleikoom" as kindly as he had given it. Fortunately
my face remained well wrapped up, and the brand on my forehead could
not be seen; he took me to be a traveller like himself, and as he was
weary, he sat down and we entered into conversation such as usually
passes between persons situated as we were. After he had been seated
for a few minutes, he loosed a small wallet from his shoulder, and
opening it displayed some cakes and mango pickle, to which he seemed
to be inclined to do ample justice; but seeing that I looked wistfully
at them he invited me to join his repast, which I was right glad to
do, as I had fasted since the morning. When we had finished our meal,
he said to me, "Meer Sahib, you say there is no water for some coss in
the direction I am going; and therefore, if you will kindly watch my
clothes and arms, I will bathe in this well."
"Surely," I replied; "I am in no hurry to be gone, and you will not
delay me." As I said it he began to strip, and taking with him a
lota, he descended the steps of the well, and I soon after heard the
splashing of the water as he poured it over himself. Now is my time,
thought I; he will be defenceless, and will fall an easy prey to me;
and I prepared my roomal for work.
He soon returned, and began to dress. I loitered near him, till I saw
him take up his garment and put both his arms into the sleeves to draw
it over him. It was a capital opportunity, and I closed behind him as
if to assist him; he turned to me, and as he had just accomplished his
purpose, I had finished mine. The roomal was about his neck, and in a
few moments he was dead at my feet!
I had no time to lose; so hastily stripping the band from his waist, in
which there seemed to be money, I dragged the body to the edge of the
well and threw it in. I then arranged his clothes at the head of the
steps, as though he had taken them off to bathe, and left them there;
his lota I left also with them; and taking up his sword and shield, I
girded the first to my waist, and the shield to my back, and pursued
my way at as quick a pace as I could. No one will imagine he has been
murdered, thought I; the clothes on the brink of the well will cause
it to be supposed that he died in the water; and I chuckled over my
success and strode along joyfully. But, the more to avoid detection, I
struck off from the road I was travelling, and seeing the groves and
white temple of a village at some distance I bent my steps towards it;
there I purchased some goor, and ate the tupounee, as a good Thug ought
to do, and after that I opened the humeana to see what my good fortune
had sent me.
And so you murdered the first man who had shown you any kindness after
your misfortunes. Oh, Ameer Ali, you are indeed a villain! you ate
of his bread and salt, and murdered him! The recompense of a Thug
certainly.
But what could I do, Sahib? I should have starved most likely had I not
killed him. Besides he was the first traveller I met after those good
omens; he was neither blind nor lame; assuredly therefore he was bunij.
It must have been his fate to die, or I should not have gone to sleep
under that tree. Had I met him in the road, I should have hesitated to
attack him: indeed, unarmed as I was, I dared not have done so. But, as
I was saying, I examined the humeana; I found in it nineteen rupees,
a gold nose-ring, and two gold rings for the fingers which were worth
at least forty rupees. Ul-humd-ul-illa! I cried, this is rare fortune;
here is enough to last me for three months, and to provide me with new
clothes; and it will be hard but in that time I find out some of my
brethren.
I searched around the village to endeavour to find some traces of
Thugs in the mango and tamarind groves by which it was environed; and
though I discovered some fire-places, with the peculiar marks of my
brethren in them, yet they were old, the rain had more than half washed
them away, and the marks would have been undistinguishable to a less
experienced Thug than myself. I could discover no further clue from
them, though I walked for some time in the direction they pointed.
Wandering along the next day, I reached Calpee on the Jumna, and
sitting one morning at the shop of a pan-seller, some persons stopped
at it, and talking among themselves, I understood that they were going
to Chutterpoor. Chutterpoor, thought I,--what an owl I have been!
there must be Thugs there, and I had forgotten it. So I immediately
determined, if possible, to accompany them. I watched them to a
bunnea's empty shop, before which, in the street, were tied four tattoos
and some bullocks; and without ceremony I told them I had overheard
their conversation, that I was also going to the town to which they
were journeying, and, if they would allow me and pardon my intrusion, I
should be glad to travel in their company, as I was alone, knew not the
road, and was afraid of robbers.
"Since you are alone, you may come, and welcome," said the man I
addressed. "But we are going by Bandah, which is not exactly in the
direct road to Chutterpoor, and our business may detain us there a day
or two; if, therefore, delay is of no consequence to you, come with us;
you seem to be a soldier, and we are poor merchants who would be glad
of your protection."
"Such as I am, good sir," said I, "I am at your service, and will
gladly accompany you to Bandah."
"Good!" replied the man; "we start early, and you had better be with us
betimes; or you can spread your carpet here as you please."
"I will do the latter," replied I, "and be with you by the evening."
Bandah! thought I; another place full of Thugs--at least it used to be.
I shall see at any rate, and if I find any, I may then alter my route.
I joined them in the evening, as I had promised, and we reached Bandah
in a few days by long marches. Here they declared they would stay four
days, so that I had ample time before me to search the place for Thugs,
should any reside there. Nor was I disappointed in my hope of meeting
them. I was sauntering through the town in the evening of the day we
arrived, when I met Hoormut, an old follower of Ganesha; he did not at
first recognise me, as may readily be imagined, and when I gave him our
token of recognition, he stared as though I had been an apparition;
however, he was soon convinced of my reality, and I accompanied him to
his house. The relation of my adventures and mishaps occupied a long
time, and after I had finished them I naturally asked for an account of
my old associate Ganesha. What I heard was gratifying to me; Hoormut
declared him to be in misfortune, abandoned by his followers, and that
he was wandering with one or two men somewhere in the neighbourhood
of Saugor, preferring the precarious chance of booty in the jungles
between that place and Nagpoor, to frequenting the more open and
travelled country. Next followed questions as to my present plans; and
when he heard I was alone and travelling with merchants, of course
it naturally followed that some plan should be undertaken for their
destruction.
"Look you, Meer Sahib," said he, "I believe I can muster as many as
fifteen Thugs in and near this place. I am not suspected as yet, but
the country is getting too hot for us, and we must either quit it or
give up Thuggee, which no man, you well know, can do after he has
eaten the goor; the others are of the same way of thinking, and we had
determined that we would leave this place for good after the rains, and
go wherever our fate might lead us."
We soon afterwards separated for the time, Hoormut promising to collect
the men by the next evening. I joined him again by the time appointed,
and found the whole assembled. I was received with exultation, for
they had wanted a leader in whom they could confide, and mine was a
name which, in spite of my recent misfortunes, they could look up
to. I knew none of them, but they swore on the pickaxe to follow me;
Hoormut vouched for their several capabilities and fidelity, and I was
satisfied.
Our plan was soon formed. They were to go by two stages to a village
they knew; there they were to wait for my arrival with the merchants.
Beyond the village was a favourite bhil of theirs, and they would have
everything prepared against our coming up. All this being settled, we
fixed the next morning (it being Monday and a lucky day) to observe the
omens and open the expedition with due form. The omens were declared to
be satisfactory, and by noon my new companions had started with their
families for their station on the road.