but rather increasing and exasperating the disease which we pretend to
cure.
While therefore I am thus reasoning with myself, I endeavor also to
abate something of my curiosity; because for any one over curiously
to enquire and pry into every thing, and to make a public business of
every employment of a servant, every action of a friend, every pastime
of a son, every whispering of a wife, causes great and long and daily
fits of anger, whereof the product and issue is a peevish and morose
disposition. Wherefore God, as Euripides says,
Affairs of greatest weight himself directeth,
But matters small to Fortune he committeth.[27]
But I think a prudent man ought not to commit any thing at all to
Fortune, nor to neglect any thing, but to trust and commit some
things to his wife, some things to his servants, and some things to
his friends (as a prince to certain vicegerents and accountants and
administrators), while he himself is employing his reason about the
weightiest matters, and those of greatest concern.
For as small letters hurt the sight, so do small matters him that is
too much intent upon them; they vex and stir up anger, which begets
an evil habit in him in reference to greater affairs. But above all
the rest, I look on that of Empedocles as a divine thing, “To fast
from evil.” And I commended also those vows and professions made in
prayers, as things neither indecent in themselves nor unbecoming a
philosopher,—for a whole year to abstain from venery and wine, serving
God with temperance all the while; or else again, for a certain time
to abstain from lying, minding and watching over ourselves, that we
speak nothing but what is true, either in earnest or in jest. After
the manner of these vows then I made my own, supposing it would be
no less acceptable to God and sacred than theirs; and I set myself
first to observe a few sacred days also, wherein I would abstain from
being angry, as if it were from being drunk or from drinking wine,
celebrating a kind of Nephalia and Melisponda[28] with respect to my
anger. Then, making trial of myself little by little for a month or
two, I by this means in time made some good progress unto further
patience in bearing evils, diligently observing and keeping myself
courteous in language and behavior, free from anger, and pure from all
wicked words and absurd actions, and from passion, which for a little
(and that no grateful) pleasure brings with itself great perturbations
and shameful repentance. Whence experience, not without some divine
assistance, hath, I suppose, made it evident that that was a very
true judgment and assertion, that this courteous, gentle, and kindly
disposition and behavior is not so acceptable, so pleasing, and so
delightful to any of those with whom we converse, as it is to those
that have it.