where the servants are beaten and the wife railed at, because something
is burnt or smoked or not salt enough, or because the bread is too
cold. Arcesilaus was once entertaining his friends and some strangers
at a feast; the supper was set on the board, but there wanted bread,
the servants having, it seems, neglected to buy any. Now, on such an
occasion, which of us would not have rent the very walls with outcries?
But he smiling said only: What a fine thing it is for a philosopher to
be a jolly feaster! Once also when Socrates took Euthydemus from the
wrestling-house home with him to supper, his wife Xanthippe fell upon
him in a pelting chase, scolding him, and in conclusion overthrew the
table. Whereupon Euthydemus rose up and went his way, being very much
troubled at what had happened. But Socrates said to him: Did not a
hen at your house the other day come flying in, and do the like? and
yet I was not troubled at it. For friends are to be entertained by
good-nature, by smiles, and by a hospitable welcome; not by knitting
brows, or by striking horror and trembling into those that serve.
We must also accustom ourselves to the use of any cups indifferently,
and not to use one rather than another, as some are wont to single
some one cup out of many (as they say Marius used to do) or else a
drinking-horn, and to drink out of none but that; and they do the same
with oil-glasses and brushes, affecting one above all the rest, and
when any one of these chances to be broken or lost, then they take it
heinously, and punish severely those that did it. And therefore he
that is prone to be angry should refrain from such things as are rare
and curiously wrought, such as cups and seals and precious stones; for
such things distract a man by their loss more than cheap and ordinary
things are apt to do. Wherefore when Nero had made an octagonal tent,
a wonderful spectacle for cost and beauty, Seneca said to him: You
have proved yourself to be a poor man; for if you chance to lose
this, you cannot tell where to get such another. And indeed it so fell
out that the ship was sunk, and this tent was lost with it. But Nero,
remembering the words of Seneca, bore the loss of it with greater
moderation.
But this contentedness in other matters doth make a man good-tempered
and gentle towards his servants; and if towards servants, then
doubtless towards friends and subjects also. We see also that newly
bought servants enquire concerning him that bought them, not whether he
be superstitious or envious, but whether he be an angry man or not; and
that universally, neither men can endure their wives, though chaste,
nor women their husbands, though kind, if they be ill-tempered withal;
nor friends the conversation of one another. And so neither wedlock
nor friendship with anger is to be endured; but if anger be away, even
drunkenness itself is counted a light matter for the ferule of Bacchus
is a sufficient chastiser of a drunken man, if the addition of anger
do not change the God of wine from Lyaeus and Choraeus (the looser of
cares and the leader of dances) to the savage and furious deity. And
Anticyra (with its hellebore) is of itself able to cure simple madness;
but madness mixed with anger furnishes matter for tragedies and dismal
stories.
14. Neither ought any, even in their playing and jesting, to give way
to their anger, for it turns good-will into hatred; nor when they
are disputing, for it turns a desire of knowing truth into a love of
contention; nor when they sit in judgment, for it adds violence to
authority; nor when they are teaching, for it dulls the learner, and
breeds in him a hatred of all learning; nor if they be in prosperity,
for it increases envy; nor if in adversity, for it makes them to
be unpitied, if they are morose and apt to quarrel with those who
commiserate them, as Priam did:—
Be gone, ye upbraiding scoundrels, haven’t ye at home
Enough, that to help bear my grief ye come?[25]
On the other hand, good temper doth remedy some things, put an ornament
upon others, and sweeten others; and it wholly overcomes all anger and
moroseness, by gentleness. As may be seen in that excellent example of
Euclid, who, when his brother had said in a quarrel, Let me perish if I
be not avenged of you, replied, And let me perish if I do not persuade
you into a better mind; and by so saying he straightway diverted him
from his purpose, and changed his mind. And Polemon, being reviled by
one that loved precious stones well and was even sick with the love
of costly signets, answered nothing, but noticed one of the signets
which the man wore, and looked wistfully upon it. Whereat the man being
pleased said: Not so, Polemon, but look upon it in the sunshine, and
it will appear much better to you. And Aristippus, when there happened
to be a falling out between him and Aeschines, and one said to him, O
Aristippus, what is now become of the friendship that was between you
two? answered, It is asleep, but I will go and awaken it. Then coming
to Aeschines, he said to him, What? dost thou take me to be so utterly
wretched and incurable as not to be worth thy admonition? No wonder,
said Aeschines, if thou, by nature so excelling me in every thing,
didst here also discern before me what was right and fitting to be done.
A woman’s, nay a little child’s soft hand,
With gentle stroking easier doth command,
And make the bristling boar to couch and fall,
Than any boisterous wrestler of them all.
But we that can tame wild beasts and make them gentle, carrying young
wolves and the whelps of lions in our arms, do in a fit of anger
cast our own children, friends, and companions out of our embraces;
and we let loose our wrath like a wild beast upon our servants and
fellow-citizens. And we but poorly disguise our rage when we give it
the specious name of zeal against wickedness; and it is with this, I
suppose, as with other passions and diseases of the soul,—although we
call one forethought, another liberality, another piety, we cannot so
acquit and clear ourselves of any of them.
15. And as Zeno has said that the seed was a mixture drawn from all
the powers of the soul, in like manner anger seems to be a kind of
universal seed extracted from all the passions. For it is taken from
grief and pleasure and insolence; and then from envy it hath the evil
property of rejoicing at another’s adversity; and it is even worse than
murder itself, for it doth not strive to free itself from suffering,
but to bring mischief to itself, if it may thereby but do another man
an evil turn. And it hath the most odious kind of desire inbred in it,
if the appetite for grieving and hurting another may be called a desire.
Wherefore, when we go to the houses of drunkards, we may hear a wench
playing the flute betimes in the morning, and behold there, as one
said, the muddy dregs of wine, and scattered fragments of garlands,
and servants drunk at the door; and the marks of angry and surly
men may be read in the faces, brands, and fetters of the servants.
“But lamentation is the only bard that is always to be heard beneath
the roof” of the angry man, while his stewards are beaten and his
maid-servants tormented; so that the spectators, in the midst of their
mirth and delight, cannot but pity those sad effects of anger.
16. And even those who, out of a real hatred of wickedness, often
happen to be surprised with anger, can abate the excess and vehemence
of it so soon as they give up their excessive confidence in those with
whom they converse. For of all causes this doth most increase anger
when one proves to be wicked whom we took for a good man, or when one
who we thought had loved us falls into some difference and chiding with
us.
As for my own disposition, thou knowest very well with how strong
inclinations it is carried to show kindness to men and to confide
in them; and therefore, like those who miss their step and tread on
nothing, when I most of all trust to men’s love and, as it were, prop
myself up with it, I do then most of all miscarry, and, finding myself
disappointed, am troubled at it. And indeed I should never succeed
in freeing myself from this too great eagerness and forwardness in
my love; but against excessive confidence perhaps I can make use of
Plato’s caution for a bridle. For he said that he so commended Helicon,
the mathematician, because he thought him a naturally versatile animal;
but that he had a jealousy of those who had been well educated in
the city, lest, being men and the offspring of men, they should in
something or other discover the infirmity of their nature. But when
Sophocles says, If you search the deeds of mortals, you will find the
most are base, he seems to insult and disparage us over much. Still
even such a harsh and censorious judgment as this may make us more
moderate in our anger; for it is the sudden and the unexpected which do
most drive us to frenzy. But we ought, as Panaetius somewhere said, to
imitate Anaxagoras; and as he said upon the death of his son, I knew
before that I had begotten but a mortal, so should every one of us use
expressions like these of those offences which stir up to anger: I
knew, when I bought my servant, that I was not buying a philosopher; I
knew that I did not get a friend that had no passions; I knew that I
had a wife that was but a woman. But if every one would always repeat
the question of Plato to himself, But am not I perhaps such a one
myself? and turn his reason from abroad to look into himself, and put
restraint upon his reprehension of others, he would not make so much
use of his hatred of evil in reproving other men, seeing himself to
stand in need of great indulgence. But now every one of us, when he is
angry and punishing, can bring the words of Aristides and of Cato: Do
not steal, Do not lie, and Why are ye so slothful? And, what is most
truly shameful of all, we do in our anger reprove others for being
angry, and what was done amiss through anger we punish in our passion,
therein not acting like physicians, who