house of the bridegroom, but before it starts some pecuniary matters are
to be settled. The father of the bridegroom gives fifty Rupees as
_Sarjaytollanee_ for the benefit of the sisters of the bride, and the
father of the bride must give the same sum, if not a larger one, as
_Nanadkhaymee_ for the benefit of the sisters of the bridegroom. Then
the difficult problem of _Samajeek_ is to be solved. In almost every
case, the question is not decided without some discussion. Hindoos are
above all tenacious of caste when the question is one of Rupees and
pice. Crowds of _Bhats_, _fakeers_, _nagas_, _raywos_, and mendicants
shouting at times "_Jay, Jay_," victory, victory; "Bar, konay bachay
thakoog," may the bridegroom and bride live long, impatiently wait in
the street for their usual alms. They get a few annas each and disperse.
Professional _Ghatucks_, genealogists and Brahmins also come in for
their share and are not disappointed. Then comes the interesting and
affecting part of the ceremonial, the _jattra_, or the approaching
departure of the happy pair for the house of the bridegroom. A small
brass pot filled with holy water and a small wooden pot of vermillion
being placed before them, they are made to sit on the two wooden
_pirays_ on which they sat the previous evening at the time of marriage,
and the females touch their foreheads with sour milk, _shiddi_ (hemp),
and the consecrated _urghi_ of the goddess Doorga,[37] which latter is
kept in a tuft on the _Khopa_ or ringlet of the bride's hair for eight
days. Her forehead is also rubbed with vermillion, the emblem of a
female whose husband is alive. This is followed by the rite of
_Kanokanjooley_ already described, but this time the father of the bride
throws the brass plate right over her head into the cloth of his wife,
who stands for the purpose behind her daughter. A sudden and solemn
pause is perceptible here, betokening the subsidence of joy and the
advent of sorrow. In the midst of the company, mostly females, the
father and mother of the bride, alternately clasping both the hands of
the bridegroom, with tears in their eyes, commit the very responsible
trust of the young wife to his charge, saying at the same time in a
faltering tone, among other things, that "hitherto our daughter was
placed under our care, but now through the _Bhabiturbee_ or kind
dispensation of Providence, she is consigned for ever to your charge,
may you kindly overlook her shortcomings and frailties and prove your
fidelity by constancy." At this parting expression, tears start into the
eyes of all the females who are naturally more susceptible than the
sterner sex. With sorrowful countenances and deep emotion they look
steadfastly at the married pair and imploringly beseech the bridegroom
to treat the bride with all the tenderness of an affectionate husband.
The scene is exceedingly affecting, and the sweet sorrow of parting does
not permit him to say _Bidaya_ or farewell to the bridegroom. The
mother-in-law, especially, should the bride be her only daughter, is
overwhelmed with grief, and if she does not cry bitterly, her suppressed
emotion is unmistakable; the idea even of a temporary separation is
enough to break her heart, and no consolation can restore the natural
serenity of her mind.[38] Her relatives endeavour to cheer her by
reminding her of their and her own cases, and declare that all females
are born to share the same fate. They scarcely enter the world before
they must leave their parents and intermarry into other families. This
is their destiny, and this the law of _Juggut_ (the world), and they
must all abide by it. Instead of repining, she ought to pray to _Debta_
(god,) "that her daughter should ever continue to live at her
father-in-law's, use _Sidoor_ (vermillion) on her grey head, wear out
her _iron bangle_, and be a _junma ayestri_," blessings which are all
enjoyed by a female whose husband is alive. Such powerful arguments and
undeniable examples partially restore the equanimity of her mind, and
she is half persuaded to join her friends and go and see the procession
from the top of the house. The same tumult and bustle which ensued at
the time of coming now prevail at the departure of the bridegroom in
his _Sookasun_, and the bride in her closely covered crimson _Mohapaya_,
preceded by all the _tinsel trappings_ and bands of English and Native
musicians. The procession slowly moves forward with all the pomp and
consequence of a grand, imposing exhibition, amidst the staring of the
wondering populace and of the sight-seeing public. "It is on such
occasions," as Macaulay observes, "that tender and delicate women, whose
veils had never been lifted before the public gaze, came forth from the
inner chambers in which Eastern jealousy keeps watch over their beauty."
The great body of _Barjattars_--bridegroom's friends--who graced the
procession with their presence the previous night, do not accompany it
now on its return homewards, and notwithstanding all the vigilance of
the extra guards, the mob scrambles and forcibly takes away the tinsel
flower and fruit trees on the way. In an hour or two, all the objects of
wonder vanish from the sight, and leave no mark behind them: "the gaze
of fools, the pageant of a day."
On the arrival of the procession at its destination, the bridegroom
alights from the _Sookasun_ and the bride from the _Mohapaya_, under
which, by way of welcome, is thrown a _ghara_, or pot of water. Hereupon
the silk _chadur_ or scarf of the bridegroom, so long in the possession
of the bride, being entwined between both while the conch is blowing,
they are taken into the inner apartment, the former walking, the latter
in the arms of one of her nearest female relatives whose husband is
alive. The boy is made to stand on an _allpana piray_ (white-painted
wooden seat), the girl on a thala or metal plate filled with milk and
altawater, and holding in her hand a live _shole_ fish. A small earthen
pot of milk is put upon the fire by a female whose husband is alive, and
when through heat it overflows, the veil of the girl being lifted, she
is desired to witness the overflowing process and say gently three
times, "may the wealth and resources of her father-in-law overflow,"
while her mother-in-law puts round her left hand an iron bangle,[39] and
with the usual benediction that she may be ever blessed with her
husband, rubs the middle of her forehead with a little vermillion. A
small basket of paddy or unhusked rice, over which stands a small pot of
vermillion, is placed on the head of the bride, which the bridegroom
holds with his left hand, and when they are both greeted three times
with the _Sree_, _Barandala Koolo_, water, plantain, betel and
betel-nuts, as has been described before, by the bridegroom's mother,
he, with his pair of nut-crackers in his right hand, throws over the
ground a few grains of paddy from the _reck_, walks slowly over a new
piece of red bordered cloth into a room, accompanied by his wife and
preceded by other females, one of whom blows a conch and another
sprinkles water,--both tokens of an auspicious event.
When all are properly seated upon bedding spread on the floor, the
bridegroom and the bride play again the game of _jatook_ with cowries
(shells)[40] as before. They afterwards receive the usual _asseerbad_
(blessing) in paddy, doov-grass and money. The mother-in-law in order to
ensure the permanent submissiveness of the bride puts honey into her
ears and sugar into her mouth that she may receive her commands and
execute them like a sweet obedient girl. Some females then, placing a
male child on the thigh of the bridegroom, desire him to hand it to the
bride. According to prescribed custom, the mother-in-law, on first
seeing the face of her daughter-in-law, presents her with a pair of gold
bangles. Other near female relatives, following her example, present her
severally with a pair of gold armlets, a pearl necklace, a set of gold
_pitjhapa_, or an ornament for the back, jingling as the girl moves, a
pair of diamond cut gold ear-rings set in precious stones, and so on. To
account for the common desire of the Hindoos to give a profusion of
jewels to their females, Menu, their great fountain of authority,
enjoins "let women be constantly supplied with ornaments at festivals
and jubilees, for if the wife be not elegantly attired, she will not
exhilarate her husband. A wife gaily adorned, the whole house is
embellished."
She is next taken into the kitchen, where all sorts of cooked victuals,
except meat, are prepared in great abundance. She is desired to look at
them and pray to God that her father-in-law may always enjoy plenty.
Returning from the cookroom, the bridegroom gives into her hands an
embroidered Benares _saree_ as also a brass _thala_, (plate) with a few
_batees_ (cups) containing boiled rice, _dhall_, and all the prepared
curries, vegetables, and fish, frumenty, &c., and addresses her,
declaring that from this day forward he undertakes to support her with
food and clothes. He then partakes of the dinner and retires, while the
bride is made to share the residue.[41] She is thus taught, from the
moment of her union at the Hymeneal altar, her fundamental duty of
absolute submission to, and utter dependence on, her husband. Should she
be of dark complexion and her features not beautiful, the bridegroom is
thus twitted by his elder brothers' wives: "you all along disliked a
_kalo_ (black) girl, now what will you do, _thacoorpo_? Surely you
cannot forsake her, we will see by-and-bye you shall have to wash her
feet." Words like these pierce the heart of the bridegroom, but
politeness forbids him to reply. As regards the power of woman, the same
lawgiver says--"a female is able to draw from the right path in this
life, not a fool only, but even a sage, and can lead him in subjection
to desire or to wrath."
The nearest relatives and friends of the family are invited to partake
of the _Bowbhat_ or bridal dinner consisting of boiled rice, dhall, fish
and vegetable curries, frumenty, _polowya_, &c., served to the guests by
the bride's own hands, which is tantamount to her recognition as one of
the members of the family. To eat _unna_ (boiled rice) is one thing and
to eat _jalpan_ (loochees and sweetmeats) is quite another. A Hindoo can
take the latter at the house of one of inferior caste, but he would lose
his caste if he were to eat the former at the same place. Even among
equals of the same caste, and much more among inferiors, boiled rice is
not taken without mature consideration, and some sort of compensation
from the inferior to the superior for condescending to eat the same. The
compensation is made in money and clothes according to the rank of the
_Koolins_. Before departing, the guests invited to the _Bowbhat_ at
which they eat boiled _rice_ from the hands of the bride, give her one,
two, or more Rupees each.
The day following is a very interesting day or rather night, being the
night of _Foolsajya_[42] or flowery bed. At about eight o'clock in the
evening the father of the bride sends to his son-in-law ample presents
of all sorts of fruits in or out of season, home and bazar made
sweetmeats, some in the shape of men, women, fishes, birds, carriages,
horses, elephants, &c., &c., each weighing from 6 to 10 lbs., sweet and
sour milk (_batasa_,) a kind of sweet cakes, _chineere moorkey_, paddy,
fried and sugared comfits, spices of all sorts, betel and prepared
betel-nuts, sets of ornaments and toys made of cutch, representing
railway carriages, gardens, house, dancing girls, &c., imitation pearl
necklaces made of rice, imitation gold necklace made of paddy, colored
imitation fruits made of curd[43], butter, sugar, sugar-candy, _chana_
(coagulated milk), otto of rose, rose-water, chaplets of flowers and
flower ornaments, in great variety, Dacca and embroidered Benares
_dhooty_ and _saree_ for the boy and the girl, clothes for all the
elderly females, couch-cot, beddings, sets of silver and brass utensils,
carpet, embroidered shoes, gold watch and chain, &c., &c. Between 125
and 150 servants, male and female, carry these articles, some in banghy,
some in baskets, and some in large brass _thalas_ or trays. These
presents being properly arranged in the _Thacoor-dallan_ the male
friends of the family are invited to come down and see them, some
praising the choice assortment and large variety, as well as the taste
of the father of the bride, while others more calculating make an
estimate as to the probable cost of the whole. These articles are then
removed into the inner apartment, where the females, naturally
loquacious, criticise them according to their judgment; the simple and
the good-natured say they are good and satisfactory, others more
fastidious find fault with them. They are, however, soon silenced by the
prudent remarks of the adult male members of the family. The servants
are next fed and dismissed with presents of money, some receiving one
Rupee each being the servants of the bride's family, some half a Rupee
being the servants of other families. They then take back all the brass
_thalas_ and trays, leaving the baskets behind.
Here we come to the climax of interest. The bridegroom and the bride,
adorned with a wealth of flower wreaths, and dressed in red-bordered
Dacca clothes, with sandal paste on their foreheads, and sitting side by
side in the presence of females whose husbands are alive, are desired to
eat even a small portion of the articles of food that have been
presented, and what is the most interesting feature in the scene, is
that the former helps the latter and the latter helps the former, both
throwing aside for the first time the restraint which modesty naturally
imposes on such an occasion. To be more explicit, the boy eats one half
of a sweetmeat and gives the other half to the girl, and the girl in her
turn is constrained to follow the same example, though with a blushing
countenance and a veiled face. Female modesty predominates in this
isolated instance. If the boy give blushingly, the girl gives shyly and
tremulously; in spite of her best efforts, she cannot consistently make
up her mind to lift up her right hand and stretch it towards the mouth
of her husband, but is after all helped to do so by a woman, whose
husband is alive. This process of eating[44] and mutual help, when three
days have scarcely passed over their heads, naturally gives rise to joy,
merriment and laughter among the females; and one amongst them exclaims;
"look, look, _Soudaminey_, how our new _Radha_ and _Krishna_ are sitting
side by side and eating together; may they live long and sport thus."
The mother of the boy watches the progress of the interesting scene,
and in transports of joy wishes for their continued felicity. The young
and sprightly, who have once passed through the same process, and whose
hearts are enlivened by the reminiscences of past occurrences, too
recent to be forgotten, tarry in the room to the last moment, till sleep
weighing down the eyelids of the happy pair, the mother of the
bridegroom gently calls them aside, and leaves them to rest undisturbed.
In accordance with the old established custom, their bed is strewn with
flowers and their bodies perfumed with otto of rose. This is not enough
for the sprightly ladies, the complement of whose amusement and
merriment is not yet full. Even if the night be a chilly one, regardless
of the effects of exposure, they must _aripato_, or jealously watch
through the crevices of windows, whether or not the boy talks to the
girl, and if he do, what is the nature of the talk. Thus they pass the
whole night prying and laughing, chatting with each other on subjects
suited to their taste and mode of thought. When morning dawns, the boy
opening the door goes outside, and the girl slowly walks to her
maid-servants, who accompanied her from her father's house. Her whole
desire is to get back to her mother and sisters; nothing can reconcile
her to her new home; novelty has no charms for her except in her
paternal domicile. She repeatedly asks her maid-servants as to when the
_Palkee_ will come, and what is the time fixed for her _jattra_,
(departure); the maid-servants, consoling her, induce her to wash her
mouth and break her fast with a few sweetmeats. In obedience to the kind
instruction of her mother, she sits closely veiled and talks little, if
at all, even to young girls of her tender age. She next takes her
_vojan_, or dinner, and to while away time, little girls try to amuse
her with toys or a game at cards; at length the time comes for the
toilet work, and the arrival of the covered _Mohapaya_ is announced. She
again takes a few sweetmeats, and making a _pronam_ (bow) to all her
superiors, is helped into the Palkee by her mother-in-law, a female
having previously washed her feet. The usual benediction on such an
occasion is, "may you continue to live under the roof of your
father-in-law in the enjoyment of conjugal bliss."
On the arrival of the Mahapaya at her father's house, almost all the
females come out for a moment, taking care previously to have the suddur
door bolted and the Palkee bearers removed. They cheerfully welcome the
return of the girl home. Her mother, unveiling her face and taking her
in her arms, thus affectionately addresses her, "my _Bacha_, (child) my
_sonarchand_ (golden moon) where have you been? Did not your heart mourn
for us?" Our house looked _khakha_ (desolate) in your absence. "What did
they (bridegroom's family) say about our _dayway thowya_ (presents)? Did
they express any _nindya_, (dissatisfaction)? How have the women behaved
towards you? How are your _sassooree_ and _sasoor_ (mother-in-law and
father-in-law,)?" Thus interrogating, they all walk inside and, making
the girl change her silk clothes and sit near them, begin to examine and
criticise the ornaments given her by her father-in-law. "Let us see the
pearl necklace _first_," says Bhoopada? "The pearls are not smooth and
round, what may be its value?" _Geeri Balla_, taking her own pearl
necklace from off her neck, compares the one with the other. They
unanimously pronounce the latter to be more costly than the former; be
that as it may, its value cannot be less than Rupees 500. They next take
in hand the _pitjapa_, ornament for the back, looking at it for a few
minutes they pass their opinion, saying it is heavier and better made
than that of _Geeri Balla_. The _Sita haur_, or _Jarawya_[45] (gold
necklace) afterwards attracts their attention, and they roughly estimate
its price at Rupees 350. It is not a little surprising that though these
women are never permitted to go beyond the precincts of the zenana, yet
their valuation of ornaments, unless it be a _jarawya bijoutry_ of
enormous cost, such as is worn on grand occasions by the wife of a "_big
swell_," often bears the nearest approximation to the intrinsic worth of
an article. Thus almost every ornament, one after another, forms the
subject of their criticism. When their discussion is over, the girl is
desired to take the greater portion of her ornaments off her body--save
a pair of gold _balla_[46] on her hands and a necklace on her neck--and
leave them to the care of her mother. She then mixes in the company of
other little girls of her tender age, some married, some unmarried; who
curiously ask her all about her new friends, until their talk resumes
its usual childish topics. She passes the day among them very
pleasantly, so much so that when her mother calls her to take her
luncheon, she stays back and says only "_jachee, jachee_," (coming,
coming,) her mind being so much absorbed in her juvenile sports.
The next day is again a day of trial for her, she has to go for
_gharbasath_[47] to her father-in-law's house. On awaking, she remembers
where she will have to go in course of the day; a sensation bordering on
sulkiness almost unconsciously steals upon her, and as time passes it
increases in intensity. About four in the afternoon the arrival of the
_Mahapaya_ is announced, her sister combs her hair and adorns her
person with all the ornaments she has lately received. Dressed in her
bridal silk _saree_, her eyes seem charged with tears, and symptoms of
reluctance are visible in every step; but go she must; no alternative is
left her. So her mother helps her into the _Mahapaya_ and orders a
durwan and two maid-servants to accompany her, not forgetting to assure
her that she is to be brought back the next day. Despite this assurance,
she whimpers and weeps, and is consoled on the way by her maid-servants.
At her father-in-law's, young girls of her age being impatient to
receive her, are seen moving backwards and forwards to get a glimpse of
the _Mahapaya_, the arrival of which is a signal for almost all the
ladies to come out and greet the object of their affection. Her
mother-in-law steps forward, and taking up the girl in her arms walks
inside, followed by a train of other ladies, whose hearts are
exhilarated again at the prospect of merriment at the expense of the
married pair. When the time comes round for them to retire, the same
scene of _arepata_ is re-enacted by the mirth-loving ladies, with all
their "quips and cranks and wanton wiles." At day-break, the girl, as
must naturally be expected, quietly walks to her confidential
maid-servant, and whispers her to go and tell her mother to send the
_Mahapaya_ Palkee as early as possible. Bearing her message, one of them
goes for the purpose but the mother replies, How can she send the Palkee
except at the lucky hour after dinner? When this reply is communicated
to the girl, she sits sulkily aloof, until her mother-in-law cajoles her
and offers for her breakfast a few sweetmeats with milk. After a great
deal of hesitation she complies with her request, which, to be
effective, is always accompanied by a threat of not allowing her to
return to her father's in the event of a refusal. About ten o'clock she
takes her regular breakfast as described before, but she does not eat
with zest, for whatever delicacy may be offered her, it palls upon her
taste; continually brooding on the idea of a return home. This is the
day when the bridegroom and the bride untie from each other's hand the
yellow home-spun _charka_ thread with which they were entwined on the
day of marriage, as a mark of their indissoluble union. At length the
lucky hour arrives, and with it the _Mahapaya_ comes. The very
announcement of the fact revives the drooping spirits of the bride.
After going through the usual toilet work and a slight repast, she gets
into the covered conveyance, assisted by her mother-in-law and other
ladies. When she returns home, she changes her bridal silk garment and
strips herself of the greater portion of her ornaments. Now uncontrolled
and unreserved, she breathes a free, genial, atmosphere; her mother and
sisters welcome her with their heartfelt congratulations, and she moves
about with her wonted buoyancy of spirit. Throwing aside her sulkiness,
she commingles readily in conversation with all around her. She praises
the amiable qualities of her father-in-law and mother-in-law, and the
very kind treatment she has had while under their roof, but she keeps
her reserve when even the slightest allusion is made to her husband,
because this is to her young mind forbidden ground on which she cannot
venture to tread without violating the sacred rules of conventionalism.
At the marriages of rich families, as will be understood from our
description, vast sums of money are expended. The greatest expense is
incurred in purchasing jewels and making presents of brass utensils,
shawls, clothes, sweetmeats, &c., to Brahmins, Koolins, _Ghatacks_ and
numerous friends, relatives and acquaintances, besides illuminations,
fireworks and all the pageantry of a pompous procession. In and about
Calcutta, the Rajahs of Shobabazar, the Dey family, the Mullick family,
the Tagore family, the Dutt family, the Ghosal family, and others, are
reported to have spent from fifty thousand rupees to two lakhs (L5,000
to L20,000) and upwards in the marriages of their sons. Whilst writing
this I am told Maharajah Jotendro Mohun Tagore is said to have expended
about two lakhs of rupees in the marriage of his nephew. The most
interesting feature in the extraordinary munificence of the Moharajah
is, as I have learnt, his princely contribution to the "District
Charitable Society,"--an act of benevolence which has shewn, in a very
conspicuous manner, not only his good sense, but his warm sympathy with
the cause of suffering humanity. It were to be wished that his noble
example would exercise some influence on other Hindoo millionaires. If a
tithe of such marriage expenses were devoted to Public Charity, the poor
and helpless would ceaselessly chant the names of such donors, and the
reward would be something better than the transient admiration of the
idle populace.