conch-shell in the inner apartment, and some more impatient than the
rest peep through the latticed corridor or window, while the bridegroom
is slowly conducted to his appropriate seat made up of red satin with
embroidered fringes, having three pillows of the same stuff on three
sides. An awning is suspended over the spacious compound, and it is
splendidly illuminated with gas lights. Polite and complimentary
expressions of good wishes and of refined native etiquette are exchanged
on both sides, comparing favorably with the rude manners of past times.
"Come in, come in, gentlemen, and sit down, please," is the general cry.
"Bring tobacco, bring tobacco, for both Brahmin's and Soodras," is the
next welcome expression. Boys, especially the brother-in-law of the
bridegroom, now bring him a couple of betel-nuts, to be cut with the
pair of nut-crackers he holds in his hand. He objects and hesitates at
first, but no excuse is admitted, no plea heard, he must cut them in
the best way he can.[27] When all the guests are properly seated,
numbers of school boys sit face to face and begin to wrangle, much to
the amusement of the assemblage. As English education is now all the
"go" among the people, questions in spelling, grammar, geography and
history, are put to each other. The following may be taken as a
specimen: Aushotosh asks Bholanauth, "In what school do you read?"
Bholanauth answers, "In the Hare School." A. continues, "What books do
you read?" B. enumerates them.
A. asks, "What is your pedagogue's name?" B., a little confounded,
remains quiet, meditating within himself what could a _pedagogue_ mean.
A. drawing nearer, asks him to spell the word, housewife? B. answers,
"h-u-z-z-i-f." A. laughs heartily in which he is joined by other boys.
Continuing the chain of interrogations, he asks B. to parse the
sentence: "To be good is to be happy." B. hanging down his head,
attempts, but fails. "Where is Dundee, and what is it famous for?" B.
answers, "Dundee is in Germany." (laughter): A. pressing his adversary,
continues, "What was the cause of the Trojan war?" B. answers
hesitatingly, "The golden fleece!" Thus discomfited, B. takes refuge in
ignoble silence, while A., in a triumphant mood, moves prominently
forward amidst the plaudits of the assembled multitude. "Long live
Aushotosh," is the universal blessing.
Here two or three professional genealogists, having tunics on their
bodies and turbans on their heads, stand up, and in measured rhyme
recite the genealogical table of the two families now affianced,
blazoning forth the meritorious deeds of each succeeding generation.
They keep a regular register of all the aristocratic Hindoo families,
especially of the Koolin class, and at respectable marriages they are
richly rewarded. It is quite amusing to hear how seriously they rehearse
the virtuous acts of the ancestors, carefully refraining from making any
allusion to disreputable acts of any kind. Though not like Chunda, the
inimitable bard and pole-star of Rajasthan, as Colonel Tod says, their
services are duly appreciated by all orthodox Hindoos, who exult in the
glowing recital of ancestral deeds. Their language is so guarded and
flattering that it can offend nobody, except such as do not reward them.
Having the genealogical table in their possession they can easily turn
the good into bad, and _vice versa_, to serve their own selfish ends. An
upstart, or one who has a family stain, pays them liberally to have his
name inserted in the genealogical register, and to be mentioned in
laudatory terms.
In the _Thakoor dhallan_, or chamber of worship, all preparations for
the solemnization of nuptials are now made. The couch-cot, beddings,
carpet, embroidered and wooden shoes--here English shoes will not
do--gold watch with chain, diamond ring, pearl necklace, and one set of
silver and one set of brass utensils,[28] are arranged in proper order,
and flowers, sandal-paste, dooav grass, holy water in copper pans, and
khoosh grass, are placed before the priests of both parties. The
bridegroom, laying aside his embroidered robe, is dressed in a red silk
cloth, and taken to the place of worship, where the bride, also attired
in a silk _Saree_, veiled and trembling through fear, is slowly brought
from the female penetralia on a wooden seat borne by two servants and
placed on the left side of the bridegroom. The agitation of her internal
feelings when brought before the altar of Hymen is greatly soothed by
the wealth of gold ornaments--the _summum bonum_ of her existence with
which her person is adorned. The officiating priest puts into the hands
of the bridegroom fourteen blades of khoosh grass in two small bundles
which he winds and ties round his figures. The priest then pours a
little holy Ganges water into the bridegroom's right hand, which he
holds while the father-in-law repeats a _mantra_ or incantation, at the
close of which he lets it fall. Rice, flowers and doorva grass are next
given him, which he lays near the copper pan containing the holy water.
Water is presented as at first with a prayer, and sour milk, then again
water. The officiating priest now directs him to put his hand into the
copper pan, and placing the hand of the bride on that of the bridegroom
ties them together with a garland of flowers, when the father-in-law
says: "Of the family of Goutam, the great grand-daughter of Ram Churn
Bose, the grand-daughter of Bulloram Bose, the daughter of Ramsoonder
Bose, wearing such and such clothes and jewels, I, Dwarkeynath Bose,
give to thee, Oma Churn Dutt, of the family of Bharadaz, the great
grandson of Dinnonath Dutt, the grandson of Shib Churn Dutt, the son of
Jodonauth Dutt." The bridegroom says, "I have received her." The
father-in-law then takes off the garland of flowers with which the hands
of the married pair were bound, and pouring some holy water on their
heads, pronounces his benediction. A piece of silk cloth called _Laja
bustur_, is then put over the heads of the boy and girl, and they are
asked to look at each other _for the first time in their lives_. While
the marriage ceremony is being performed the boy is made to wear on his
head a conical tinsel hat. Here the barber of the bridegroom gives to
the priest a little _Khoye_ (parched rice) and a little ghee, which are
offered with doorva grass to the god Brahma. A very small piece of
coarse cloth called _gatchara_, or knotted cloth, containing in all
twenty-one myrobolans, _boyra_ fruit and betel-nuts, is tied to the
silk _dhobja_ or scarf of the bridegroom, which is fastened again to the
silk garment of the bride, thus symbolising a union never to be severed.
The married couple are then taken into the inner court where the females
are waiting on the tiptoe of expectation, wreathed for a moment in the
rapturous embraces of one another. As soon as the boy appears, or rather
before his appearance, conch-shells are again blown, and he is made to
stand on a stone placed under a small awning called _chadlahtalah_, a
temporary shed, surrounded on four sides by plantain trees. By way of
merriment, some females greet him with _hayeumllah_ mixed in treacle,
some pull his ears, notably his sisters-in-law, while matrons cry out
"_ulu, ulu, ulu_," sounds indicative of excessive joy. It would require
the masterly pen of a Sir Walter Scott to adequately delineate the
joyous feelings of the females on such an auspicious occasion.
The bridegroom is made to wear on his ten fingers ten rings made of
twigs of creepers, and his hands are tied by a piece of thread as long
as his body. Putting betwixt them a weaver's shuttle, the mother-in-law
says, "I have bound thee by thread, bought thee with cowries, and put a
shuttle betwixt thy hands, now bleat thou like a lamb,[29] Bapoo,"--a
term of endearment. She also closes his mouth by touching his lips with
a padlock, and symbolically sewing the same with twenty-one pins, that
he may never scold the girl; touches his nose with a slender Bamboo pipe
and breaks it afterwards, throws over his body treacle and rice, as well
as the refuse of spices pounded on a grindstone, which has been kept
covered with a bag for eight days, are alive, by two females whose
husbands and finally touches his lips with honey and small images made
of sugar, that he may ever treat his wife like a _sweet_ darling.
Afterwards the mother-in-law with several other married women, adorned
with all their costly ornaments and dressed in their best attire, touch
his forehead with _Sree_, _Barandalla_ a winnowing fan, plantain, betel
and betel-nuts; and here the silk scarf of the boy, of which mention has
been made before, is again more closely fastened to the silk garment of
the girl, and kept with her for eight days, after which it is returned,
accompanied by presents of sweetmeats, fishes and curdled milk. These
puerile rites, purely the invention of females, are intended to act as
charms for securing the love and affection of the husband for his wife.
The wish is certainly a good one, but often the agencies employed fail
to produce the desired effect! "Charms strike the sight, but merit wins
the soul." Before the marriage ceremony is concluded, the boys of the
neighbourhood make the usual demand of _Gramva[t.]i_ and _Barawari_ Poojah.
At first in a polite way they ask the father of the bridegroom for the
gift. He offers twenty Rupees, but they insist on having one hundred
Rupees. After some altercation in which sometimes high words and
offensive language are made use of,[30] the matter is eventually settled
on payment of thirty-two Rupees. This money is used in giving a feast to
the boys of the neighbourhood, reserving a portion for the _Barawari_
poojah,--a mode of worship which will be more fully treated in another
place.
As an epilogue to the nuptial rite, the bridegroom continues to stand on
a stone, while two men setting the bride on a wooden seat, and lifting
her higher than his head, makes three circumambulations, asking the
females at the same time who is taller, the bridegroom or the bride? The
stereotyped response is, "the bride." This being done, the females
throwing a piece of cloth over the heads of both, desire them to glance
at each other with all the fond endearments of a wedded pair. As is to
be expected, the coy girl, almost in a state of trepidation, casts but a
transient look, and veils her face instanter; but the boy, young as he
is, feels inwardly happy to view the lovely face of his future wife.
This look is called _Shoovadristi_ or "the auspicious sight" which is
held in the light of a harbinger of future felicity.
The bridegroom returns to the _Thacoordhallan_ or place of worship and
performs the concluding part of the marriage ceremony, while the
officiating priest, repeating the usual incantation, presents the burnt
offerings (_home_) to the gods, which is the finale of the religious
part of the rite.[31] But before the bridegroom leaves the place of
worship, the officiating priests of both sides must have their _dackina_
or pecuniary reward. If the boy be of the Mowleek caste and the girl of
the Koolin caste, the former must give double what the latter gives, _i.
e._, 16 Rupees and 8 Rupees. Here, as in every other instance, the
superiority of caste asserts its peculiar privileges. The professional
genealogists, after concluding their recitation and singing their
epithalamiums, also come in for their share of the reward, but they are
generally told to wait till the next day, when in common with other
Ghatacks they receive their recompense. The bridegroom is then permitted
to have a little breathing time, after having undergone the infliction
of so many religious and domestic rites, which latter formed the special
province of the females.
The head of the family now stands up before the assembly, and asks their
permission to go through the ceremony of _Mala Chandan_, or the
distribution of sandaled garlands. This is done to pay them the honor
due to their rank. The _Dullaputty_, or the head of the order or party,
almost invariably receives the first garland, and then the assembled
multitudes are served. For securing this hereditary distinction to a
family, large sums of money have been spent from time to time by
millionaires who, by the favorable combination of circumstances, had
risen from an obscure position in life to a state of great affluence.
The late Rajah Rajkissen Bahadoor, Baboos Ram Doolal Dey, Kisto Ram
Bose, Modun Mohun Dutt, Santi Ram Singh, Ram Rutton Roy and others,
expended upwards of a lakh of Rupees, or L10,000, each for the
possession of the enviable title of _Dullaputty_, or head of a party.
The way by which this noble distinction was secured was to induce
first-class Koolins, by sufficient pecuniary inducements, to intermarry
into the families of the would-be _Dullaputty_. The generally
impoverished condition of the old aristocracy of the land, and the
onward march of intellect teaching the people to look to sterling merit
for superiority in the scale of Society have considerably deteriorated
the value of these artificial distinctions. The progress of education
has opened a new era in the social institutions of the country, and an
enlightened proletariat is now-a-days more esteemed than an empty
titled _Dullaputty_, the magnitude of whose social status is not to be
estimated by the numbers of Koolins he is connected with, but by the
extent and character of his services to society.
The bridegroom next dines with his friends outside, notwithstanding the
importunities of the females for him to dine in their presence in the
inner apartment, that they might have an opportunity to indulge in
merriment at his expense. As a rule, the Brahmins dine first, and then
the numerous guests and attendants, numbering sometimes one thousand.
Despite the precaution of the friends of the bride to prevent unwelcome
intrusion, from a natural apprehension of running short of supplies,
which, on such occasions, are procured at enormous cost, many uninvited
persons in the disguise of respectable looking Baboos contrive somehow
or other to mingle in the crowd and behave with such propriety as to
elude detection. The proportion of male intruders is larger than that of
female ones, simply because the latter, however barefaced, cannot
entirely divest themselves of all modesty. It would not be above the
mark to put down the number of the former at twenty per cent. Such men
are professional intruders; they are entirely devoid of a sense of self
respect, and lead a wretched, demoralized life. Foreigners can have no
idea of the extent to which they carry on their disreputable trade,
including in their ranks some of the highest Brahmins of the country. It
is not an uncommon sight, on such occasion, to behold numbers of people
depart after dinner with bundles of _loochees_ (fine edibles) and
sweetmeats in their hands, which _methranees_[32] threaten to touch and
defile.
When full justice has been done to the feast provided for the occasion,
the crowd melts away and streams out at the door, well pleased with the
reception they have had. It is much easier to satisfy men than women in
this respect. The latter are naturally fastidious, and the least
shortcoming is sure to be found fault with. When confusion and bustle
subside, the bridegroom is slowly conducted into a room in the inner
apartment which bears the euphonious name of _Basurghur_, the
bed-chamber of the happy pair, or rather the store-house of jokes and
banter, where are grouped together his wife, his mother-in-law,[33] and
the whole galaxy of beauty. The very name of _Basarghur_[34] suggests to
the female a variety of ideas at once amusing and fascinating. As I have
already observed, she, nursed from her cradle in a state of perfect
seclusion, and immersed in all the drudgeries of a monotonous domestic
life, is glad of any opportunity to share in the unreined pleasure of
joviality. The mother-in-law, throwing aside conventional restraint,
introduces herself, or is introduced by other women, to her son-in-law.
They pull the poor lad's ears, in spite of her earnest protestation, and
if they do not know what flirtation is, they assail him with jokes
which quite puzzle him and bewilder his senses. They burst into roars of
laughter and make themselves merry at his expense; he feels himself
almost helpless and unprepared to make a suitable repartee, and is at
length driven into all manner of excuses, as plausible reasons for a
brief respite and a short repose. He complains of headache occasioned by
the lateness of the hour; as a sure remedy they give him soda, ice,
eau-de-cologne, and almost bathe him in rose-water; but a soporific they
can on no account allow him, because it would mar their pleasure and
sink their lively spirits. Keeping up their jokes, they place the lovely
bride with all her gold trappings on his knee, and unveiling her face
ask him to look at it, and say whether or not he likes her; she closes
her eyes, moves and jerks to have the veil dropped down, but her sisters
yield not to her wish, and keeping her yet unveiled, repeat the
question. Of course he makes no reply, but blushes and hangs down his
head; their demand being imperative, he sees no other alternative, but
to gently reply in the affirmative. They next make the girl bride, much
against her inclination, lie down by his side; as often as she is
dragged so often she draws back, but yielding at last to the admonition
of her mother, she is constrained to lie down, because, on that night,
this form is strictly enjoined in the female shaster. The innocent girl,
unconscious of the absurd mirth, shrinking together, turns away, and
occasionally whimpering, passes the sleepless, miserable hours. The dawn
of morning is to her most welcome, although it affords her but a
temporary relief. As the first glimpse of light is perceived, she flies
into the bosom of her aunt, who tries to animate her drooping spirit by
a word or two of solace, citing perhaps at the same time the example of
Surrajiney, her elder sister, placed in a similar position three years
ago. The women referred to remain in the _Basarghur_. As a matter of
course aged women go to sleep faster than young sprightly girls of
sweet seventeen, who are bent on making the best of the occasion by
indulging in jokes and witticisms. They literally rack their brains to
outwit the bridegroom by their _thata_ and _tamasha_ (jokes), and their
stock of it seems to be almost inexhaustible. They contrive to make him
chew the same beera or betel which is _first_ chewed by the bride, and
if he be obstinate enough to refuse it, in obedience to the warning of
his mother, which is often the case, four or five young ladies open out
his lips, and thrust the chewed betel into his mouth. What young man
would be so ungallant as to resist them after all? He must either submit
or bear the opprobrium of a foolish discourteous boy. Thus the whole
night is passed in the banter and practical joking peculiar to the
idiosyncracy of the Hindoo females. When in the morning he attempts to
get away from their company, one or two ladies, notably his _salees_, or
sisters-in-law hold him fast by the skirt of his silk garment demanding
the customary present of _Sarjaytollanee_.[35] He sends a message to his
man outside, and gets thirty two or fifty Rupees, on payment of which
they are satisfied and permit him to go. After a short respite he is
again brought into the inner apartment, and after shaving, bathing and
changing his clothes, he is made to go almost through the same course of
female rites as he had to perform on the preceding night, with this
difference only, that no officiating priest is required to help on the
occasion. This rite is named _Bassi Bibaha_ (not new marriage), all the
ceremonials being conducted by the females. It would be tedious to
inflict on the reader a recapitulation of the same, but suffice it to
say, that in all the primary pervading principle is plainly perceptible,
namely, the long life and conjugal felicity of the happy pair. It is a
remarkable fact that in the opinion of the Hindoo females the wider the
circle of matrimonial ceremonies, the greater the chance of securing the
favor of Hymen. At the conclusion, the boy and girl are directed to say
that they have passed the state of celibacy and entered on that of
matrimony. "Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled."
As morning advances, the bridegroom walking, and the bride in the arms
of her relative, are next brought into a room--the women blowing the
conch and sprinkling water,--and made to sit near each other. They then
play with cowries, (shells) the girl is told to take up _a few_ cowries
in her left hand and put them near the boy, while on the other hand the
boy is told to take up as _much_ as his right hand can contain and put
them before the girl, the meaning of which is, that the girl would spend
sparingly and the boy give her abundantly. They then play with four very
small earthen pots, called _mooglivhur_, filled with rice and peas; the
girl first opens the lids of the pots and throws the contents on a
_Koolo_, (winnowing fan) the boy takes it up and fills the pots, the
girl slowly puts the lids on and inaudibly repeats the name of her
husband for the first time,[36] expressing a hope that by the above
process she stops his mouth and curbs his tongue, that he may never
abuse her. As the first course of breakfast, fruits and sweetmeats are
served to the bridegroom and the bride. He eats a little and is
requested to offer a portion of the same to his wife, whose modesty
forbids her to accept any in his presence, but the earnest importunities
of the nearest of kin overcome her shyness, and she is at length
prevailed upon to taste a little which is offered her by the hand of her
husband, the females expressing a desire at the same time that she may
continue to eat from the same hand to the end of her days. They then
receive the benedictions of the male and female members of the family in
money, dooav grass and paddy, which embody a prayer to the God for her
everlasting happiness. A second course of breakfast consisting of boiled
rice, dhall, fish and vegetable curries in great variety, sweetmeats,
sour and sweet milk is next brought for the bridegroom; seeing that he
eats very slowly and scantily through shame, his sisters-in-law help him
with handfuls of rice and curries, &c. After he has finished eating, the
residue of the victuals is given to his wife in a separate room, because
it is customary that she should use the same that day, with a view to
cement mutual love and affection.