eventually made to succumb from a consideration of their having secured
a desirable match, namely, a _passed_ student. If not placed in affluent
circumstances, as is generally the case, they are obliged to raise the
requisite sum of money by loan, which sows, in many instances, the seeds
of much future embarrassment. At a very moderate calculation, a
tolerably respectable marriage now-a-days costs between two and three
thousand Rupees (about L200),--sometimes more. There is another native
adage which says, "we want twine for thatching and money for wedding." A
respectable Hindoo gentleman who has four or five daughters to give in
marriage and whose income is not large, is often reduced to the greatest
difficulty and embarrassment by reason of the extravagantly enormous
expenses of a marriage. The rich do not care much what they are required
to spend. All that they look for is a desirable match. It is the middle
and poorer classes, who form by far the largest aggregate of population
in every country, that suffer most severely from the present enhanced
scale of matrimonial charges. The late Rajah Rajkissen, Baboos Ramdoolal
Dey,[19] Nemy Churn Mullick and other Hindoo millionaires, spent
extraordinary sums of money on the marriage of their sons. The amount in
each instance far exceeded a lakh of Rupees. The annals of Rajasthan
furnish numerous instances of lavish expenditure, varying from five to
ten lakhs of Rupees and upwards, on the solemnization of nuptials. There
was a spirit of rivalry which animated the princes to surpass each other
in magnificence and splendour on such occasions, regardless alike of the
state of their exchequer, and the demoralizing effects of such conduct.
Marriages in such a magnificent style are seldom to be seen in Calcutta
now-a-days, not because of the distaste of the people for such
frivolities, but because of the lamentable decline and impoverishment of
the former magnates of the land. It is painful to contemplate that the
present scale of expenditure among the middle classes has been in an
inverse ratio to their income. The exertions made sometime ago by
Moonshee Peary Lall for the reduction of marriage expenses would have
doubtless conferred a lasting boon on the Hindoo community in general,
if the object had been crowned with success, but as the Legislature has
no control over such matters, relating as they do to purely private
affairs, the noble scheme resulted in failure. It is quite optional with
parties to go to heavy expenses on such occasions; no act of Government
without the voice of the people could restrain them in this respect. Any
social reform to be permanent and effectual must be carried out by the
universal suffrages of the people.
When the preliminaries of a marriage are settled, a person, on each
side, is deputed by turns to see the boy and the girl. It is customary
to see the girl first. When the friends of the bridegroom, therefore,
come for the purpose, they sit down in the outer apartment of the house,
whilst the bride is engaged in her toilet duty. After fifteen or twenty
minutes, she, glittering in jewels and accompanied by a maid servant as
well as by the _Ghatkee_, makes her appearance. The first thing she does
in entering the room is to make a _pranam_ or bow to all present, and
then she is asked to squat down on the clean white sheet spread on the
floor. A solemn pause ensues for a minute or so, when one of the
company, more officious than the rest, breaks the silence by putting to
her a few questions. She naturally feels herself somewhat out of her
element in the midst of so many strangers, and unconsciously shows a
sort of embarrassment even of self conflict almost distressing to
witness. This internal agitation of feeling, arising partly from modesty
and partly from anxiety, causes her even to stammer. Her engrossing
thought for the time being is, according to the early vow she has made,
that she may have a _good_ husband with lots of jewels. "What is your
name, mother?" is the first question. She may diffidently reply in a
half suppressed tone "_Gri Balla_." "Who is that sitting before
you?"--perhaps pointing to the girl's father. She says, "My father."
"Can you read and write?" If she say, "yes," she is asked to read a
little out of her book.
The _Ghatkee_ here plays the part of a panegyrist by admiring the
amiable qualities of the girl, who, she adds, is the very type of
_Luckee_ (the goddess of prosperity.) While this examination is going on
in the outer apartment, the anxious mother, whose heart beats with
throbbing sensations while watching the scene from behind a half closed
window, does not feel herself at ease, until she hears that her daughter
has acquitted herself creditably. Before the girl leaves the room, the
father or brother of the boy puts a gold mohur into her hand as a
tangible proof of approval and bids her retire. It is needless to say,
that she feels herself relieved, quite glad and free, when she again
sees the faces of her mother and sisters, whose joy returns with her
return.
This interview is called _pucca dheykha_ or the confirmatory visit. All
the Brahmins, _Ghatucks_ and _Ghatkees_, and other Koolins who may be
present on the occasion receive two or four Rupees each. The servants of
the house are not forgotten, they too receive each a Rupee. If this
interview take place in the morning, the parties return home without
breakfast, it being customary with them not to eat anything before
bathing and performing their daily worship. If in the evening, they are
treated to a good dinner consisting of the best fruits of the season,
sweet and sour milk and sweetmeats of various kinds. It is on such
ceremonious occasions, that the Hindoos make a display of their wealth
by serving the dinner to their new friends with silver salvers, plates,
glasses and _paundan_, (betel box). Almost every respectable gentleman
keeps a good assortment of these silver articles. They are, however,
reserved for special purposes, and used only on special occasions. As a
rule, the people are not fond of investing their money, like Europeans,
in plated-ware, because it is, comparatively speaking, of little
exchangeable value in times of need and distress.
It is now the turn of the boy to be examined in a similar way as to his
scholastic acquirements. When the father and the relatives of the girl
pay a return visit, they generally bring with them a graduate of the
University. Should the boy be one who has successfully passed the
Matriculation standard, he is not subjected to so strict an examination
as one who does not enjoy the same dignity. In both cases, however, they
must undergo some examination in English literature, composition,
grammar, history, &c. It is a noteworthy fact that a boy however
intelligent and expert in other respects, betrays a lamentable
deficiency, arising from diffidence, when required to undergo an
examination in the presence of his father-in-law and a University
graduate. The thought of failure acts as a heavy incubus on his mind. He
finds himself bewildered in a maze of confusion. If he do not actually
stammer, he talks at least very slowly and diffidently, and if called
upon to write, his hand shakes, and in fact he becomes extremely
nervous. After this trial is over, the boy retires with mingled feelings
of misgiving and complacence. He receives, however, in his turn a gold
mohur. The gentlemen who had come to see him are then asked to a dinner
in the way described above. The same display of silver-ware is made on
the occasion, and nearly the same amount of presents of money made to
the Brahmins, Koolins and others.
When both parties are satisfied as to the desirableness of the union, a
good day is fixed for drawing a _pattra_ or written agreement in which,
say, a Koolin of superior caste, engages in writing to give his son in
marriage with the daughter of either a second Koolin, or, as is often
the case of a Mowleek, an inferior in caste. This _Pattra_ is written by
a Brahmin on Bengallee paper with Bengallee pen and ink (as if English
writing materials would desecrate such a sacred contract) and must
consist of an odd number of lines, such as seven or nine lines. An
invocation of the Butterfly must head the _Pattra_, the purport of which
will run as follows: "I, Ram Chunder Bose, do engage to give my second
son, Gopeenauth Bose, in marriage with Nobinmoney Dossee, the eldest
daughter of Issen Chunder Dutt, who is also bound by his contract; the
marriage to be solemnized on a day to be named hereafter." Here the
signatures of both the fathers as well as of the witnesses follow. When
finished, it is rolled up in red thread. The _Koolin_ gentleman hands it
to the _Mowleek_ gentleman, when the latter embraces the former, and
gives him at the same time _Koola marjada_ and _Pattra Darshanee_, as a
mark of respect for his superior caste,--or about fifty Rupees. The
articles required for the matrimonial contract are paddy, doov grass,
turmeric, betel leaf, betel-nuts, sandal paste, cowries (small shells)
and _alta_[20] all which are considered as conducive to the future
welfare of the boy[21] and girl. When the contract is religiously
ratified, a couple of conchs--one for the bridegroom and another for the
bride--are sounded by the females, announcing the happy conclusion of
this important preliminary, at which all hearts are exhilarated.
Arrangements are now being made for the dinner of all who may be present
at the time. Sometimes fifty to sixty persons are fed. Every care is
taken to provide a good dinner for the delectation of the guests and a
_Pattra_ on this scale costs from 300 to 400 Rupees. The Brahmins,
Koolins, and others, receive, as usual, presents of money and return
home replenished in body as well as in purse.
It is worthy of remark that though the distinction of caste still exerts
its influence on all the important concerns of our social and domestic
life, it is nevertheless fast losing its prestige in the estimation of
the enlightened Hindoos. In former days a Koolin occupied a prominent
position in society, be his character what it might, but now-a-days the
rapid spread of English education, and the manifold advantages derivable
from it, has practically impaired his influence and lowered his dignity.
A _Koolin_ who happens to be the father of a girl married to a
_Mowleek_, is, in the present day, degraded into the rank of his
traditional inferior, simply because he is the father of the girl; he
must even be prepared to submit to all sorts of humiliation and continue
to serve the _Mowleek_ father of the boy as long as the connection
lasts. At every popular festival for at least one year he must,
according to his rank, make suitable presents to his son-in-law, failing
which a latent feeling of discontent arises which eventually ripens into
bitter misunderstanding.
But to return to the marriage contract. After the entertainment, both
parties consult the almanac and fix a day for the ceremony, called
_Gatray haridra_ or the anointment of the boy with turmeric. On that day
the bridegroom, after bathing and putting on a red bordered cloth,[22]
is made to stand on a grindstone surrounded by four plantain trees,
while five women (one must be of Brahmin caste) whose husbands are
alive, go round him five or seven times, anoint his body with turmeric,
and touch his forehead at one and the same time with holy water, betel,
betel-nuts, a _Sree_ made of rice paste in the shape of a sugarloaf, and
twenty other little articles consisting of several kinds of peas, rice,
paddy, gold, silver, &c. From this day, the boy carries about a pair of
silver nut-crackers, and the girl a pair of _kajulnatha_,[23] which must
remain with them till the solemnization of the nuptials, for the purpose
of repelling evil spirits. A little of the turmeric paste with which the
body of the bridegroom was anointed is sent by the family barber to the
bride in a silver cup, her body is also anointed with it. A number of
other gifts follow, namely, a large brass vessel of oil, various kinds
of perfumery, three pieces of cloth (one must be a richly embroidered
Benares _saree_, one Dacca, and the other red bordered), a small carpet,
a silk musnud with pillows, two mats, some gold trinkets for the head, a
few baskets of sweetmeats, some large fishes, sweet and sour milk, and a
few garlands of flowers, &c., all which cost from two to three hundred
Rupees, or sometimes more. A rich man sometimes gives a pair of diamond
combs and flowers for the hair, of the value of two thousand Rupees and
upwards. From this, an idea may be formed as to the lavish expenditure
of the Hindoos on marriages, even in these hard times. A _few_ can
afford it, but the _many_ are put to their wits'-end in meeting the
demands thus made upon them.
Two or three days after the ceremony of anointment, the Bengali almanac
is again consulted, and a lucky day is appointed for the celebration of
_Ahibarrabhat_, so called from its being a feast given just before the
wedding. On this occasion the father of the bridegroom gives a grand
entertainment to the male relatives of the family. As a counterpart to
the same the father of the bride gives a similar entertainment to the
female relatives of his own family, with this difference only, that in
the case of the former no Palkees are required, whereas in the case of
the latter these covered conveyances have to be engaged for bringing in
the females. In either case the number of guests generally varies from
two to three hundred, and as the present style of living among the
Hindoos in the metropolis has become more expensive than that which
prevailed in the good old days, partly from a vain desire to make an
ambitious display of wealth, and partly from the unprecedentedly rapid
increase of the population, which has, as a necessary sequence,
considerably raised the prices of all kind of provisions, an
entertainment of this nature costs from four to five hundred Rupees on
each side. The very best kinds of _loochees_, _kocharees_, vegetable
curries, fruits, sweetmeats[24] and other delicacies of the season are
to be provided for this special occasion.
English friends are often invited to the marriages of rich families in
Calcutta and regaled with all sorts of delicacies from the Great Eastern
Hotel. "The family mansion is splendidly furnished and brilliantly
illuminated. There is literally a profusion of pictures and chandeliers.
All the furniture and surroundings are indicative more of an English
than of a Native house. Dancing girls are hired to impart _eclat_ to the
scene. A _nabat_ covered with tinsel is put up in front of the house,
where native musicians play at intervals, much to the satisfaction of
the mother of the bridegroom and the boys of the neighbourhood, and a
temporary scaffolding made of bamboos and ornamental paper is erected on
the highway in the form of a crescent bearing on it the inscription,
"God save the bridegroom." Male and female servants receiving presents
of gold and silver bangles move about the house gaily dressed in red
uniform, or clothes. As tangible memorials of the happy union, presents
of large brass pots, with oil, plates with sweetmeats, fruits, and
clothes, &c., are largely distributed among the Brahmins and numerous
friends and relatives of the family. This present is called _Samajeek_.
With the exception of Brahmins, who are content with offering hollow
benedictions, in which the sacerdotal class, as a rule, is so very
liberal, everyone else who receives them makes in return presents of
clothes and sweetmeats, the nearest relatives making the most costly
ones. In times of great _logansha_, _i. e._, when numerous marriages
take place, the demand for clothes and sweetmeats is really enormous.
Dealers in those things make a harvest of profit and "the town becomes a
jubilee of feasts."
During the night preceding the marriage, the women of both the families
scarcely sleep, being busily engaged in making all sorts of preparations
for the next day. Very early in the morning, five _Ayows_, or females
whose husbands are alive, take with them a light, a knife, a _Sree_, a
_Brundala_, containing sundry little articles, described before, a small
brass pot, some sweetmeats, _choora_ and _moorkee_, oil, betel,
betel-nuts and turmeric, and go to the nearest tank, sounding a conch,
and touching the water with the knife, fill the brass pot with water.
The above articles being presented as an offering to the brass pot, the
females receive a portion of the eatables and return home sounding the
conch, which is a necessary accompaniment of all religious ceremonies.
What I am now about to describe may be called the _first_ marriage,
because it is invariably followed by a second ceremonial when the union
is really consummated. But it properly forms the binding ceremony, as
constituting the marriage relative between the two youthful parties,
with all its legal and social rights, even if they should not be spared
to live together as husband and wife.
The emptiness and superficiality of the relation, especially on the side
of the childish bride, will be but too apparent, and is but too often
realised in this uncertain life, in the prolonged misery of a virgin
widowhood. On the day of the marriage both the bridegroom and the bride
are forbidden to eat anything except a little milk and a few fruits. The
father of the bride also fasts, as well as the officiating priests of
the two families.
About twelve o'clock in the day, the Mowleek family sends presents of
clothes, sweetmeats, fishes, sour and sweet milk and some money, say
about twenty-five rupees, to the house of the Koolin family, as a mark
of honor to the latter, to which, from his superior caste he is fairly
entitled. This present is called _Adhibassy_. Both the fathers are also
required during the day to perform the ceremony of _Nannimook_ or
_Bidhishrad_,--a ceremony, the meaning of which, as said before, is to
make offerings to the manes of ancestors, and to wish for the increase
and preservation of progeny.
After the performance of the above ceremonies, both the bridegroom and
the bride putting on new red bordered _dhooty_ and _saree_ respectively
at their several houses, are made to bathe; and five women whose
husbands are alive touch their foreheads with sundry little things, as
mentioned before. They have afterwards to go through a few minor rites
which are purely the inventions of the females, not being at all
enjoined in the _Shasters_. It is obvious that the primary object of all
these female rites is to promote conjugal felicity. Strange as it may
appear, it is nevertheless a fact that the mother of the bridegroom eats
_seven_ times (of course but little at a time) that day through a fear
lest the bride, when she comes, will give her but scanty meals,[25]
while the mother of the bride does not eat anything until the marriage
ceremony is over, being impressed with a notion that the more she fasts
the more she will get to eat afterwards.
The females on the side of the bride, with the help of a matron,
exercise their utmost ingenuity, and literally rack their brains, in
devising all manner of contrivances partaking of the character of charms
to win the devoted attachment of the bridegroom towards the lovely
little bride. They resort to numerous petty tricks for the purpose which
are too absurd and childish to be dwelt upon. Credulous as they
naturally are, and simple as they are known to be in their habits, not
to speak of the normal weakness of their intellect, they fondly imagine
that their _thook thak_ or trick is sure to triumph and produce the
desired effect. To give an instance or two. They write down in red ink
on the back of the _Peray_, or wooden seat on which the bride is to sit,
the names of twenty-one uxorious husbands, and go round the bride seven
times. They also write the name of the goddess, Doorga, on the silk
_saree_ or garment which the bride is to wear at the time of the
marriage ceremony, because Shiva, her husband, was excessively fond of
her. They place before her the _Chundi Pooty_, a sacred book treating of
Doorga and Shiva, while her mouth is filled with two betel-nuts to be
afterwards chewed with betel by the bridegroom unawares. Meantime active
preparations are made on both sides for the auspicious solemnization of
the nuptials. At the house of the bridegroom, arrangements are being
made for illumination and fireworks, and the grand _Nacarras_ announce
the approaching departure of the procession. Fac-similes of mountains
and peacocks are made of colored paper spacious enough to accommodate a
dozen persons; hundreds of _Khas gaylap_ and silver staves are seen on
the roadside; groups of songsters and musicians are posted here and
there to give a passing specimen of the vulgar songs of the populace; a
_Sookasun_ or bridegroom's seat elegantly fitted up is brought out with
two boys gaily dressed to fan the bridegroom with _chamurs_;[26]
hundreds of blue and red lights are distributed among the swarthy
coolies, who are to use them on the road when the procession moves. The
bridegroom, being washed, is helped to put on a suit of superbly
embroidered Benares _kinkob_ dress, with a pearl necklace of great
value, besides bangles and armlets set in precious stones and garlands
of flowers. Durwans and guards of honor are paraded in front of the
house; and in short, nothing is left to impart an imposing appearance to
the scene. As has been already observed, there is a growing desire among
the Hindoos to imitate English manners and fashions. A marriage
procession is considered quite incomplete unless bands of English
musicians are retained, and a cavalcade of troopers like a burlesque of
the Governor-General's Body Guard is seen to move forward to clear the
way. A Cook's carriage with a postillion is not unfrequently observed to
supersede the old _Sooksun_, or gilt Palkee.
Before the bridegroom leaves his house he says his prayer to the goddess
Doorga, and makes his preparatory _jattra_ (departure). At this time his
mother asks him, "_Baba_ where are you going?" He answers, "To bring in
your _Dassee_ or maid-servant." Before leaving he receives from her a
few instructions as to how he should conduct himself at the house of his
father-in-law. He is to gaze on the stars in heaven, keep his feet half
on the ground and half on the wooden seat when engaged in performing a
ceremony, and not to use any other betel but his own. The object of
these instructions is to thwart the intention of his mother-in-law that
he may become a uxorious husband, a wish in which his mother does not
share at all, because it is calculated to diminish his regard for her.
In the majority of cases the wish of the mother-in-law prevails over
that of the mother, as is quite natural.
He has next to perform the rite of _Kanakangoolee_, surrounded by all
the women of the family. A small brass plate containing rice, a small
wooden pot of vermilion, and one Rupee, are thrown right over his head
by his father into the _Saree_, or robe of his mother, who stands behind
him for the purpose of receiving the same. This is a signal for him to
come out, and if all arrangements are complete, take his seat on the
bridal _Sookasun_, or carriage. The procession moves forward amid the
increasing darkness. One or two European constables march ahead. The
usual cortege of stalwart durwans follow. The torches and flambeaus are
lighted. The _Khasgalabullahs_ are ranged on both sides of the road; in
the midst are placed bands of native and English musicians. Parties of
songsters in female dress begin to sing and dance on the _Moworpunkhee_,
borne on the shoulders of coolies. The flaring torches are waved around
the procession. Blue and red lights are flashed at intervals. Noise,
confusion, and bustle ensue. Men, women and children all flock to see
the tamasha. Mischievous boys try to rob the lights. And to lend, as it
were, an enchantment to the scene, gay Baboos in open carriages, in
their gala dresses bring up the rear. It is on such occasions that
modest beauties and newly-married brides (_bahus_) come out from the
Zenana, and, unveiling their faces, rise on the tops of their houses on
both sides of the road, in order to feast their eyes on all the pompous
accompaniments of a marriage exhibition. As soon as the procession
arrives near the house of the bride, the people of the neighbourhood
assemble in groups to have a sight of the lord of the day, and four or
five gentlemen of the party of the bride advance to welcome the
bridegroom and his party of friends, who enter, receiving the stares of
the idle and the salutations of the polite. The barber of the family
brings out a light in a _sara_ (earthen vessel) and places it on the
side of the road. Decency forbids me to mention certain of its
constituents.