not cannibals, I am inclined to think they were a good one. There are
some few things which you may take up with your fingers. Thus an
epicure will eat even macaroni with his fingers; and as sucking
asparagus is more pleasant than chewing it, you may, as an epicure, take
it up _au naturel_. But both these things are generally eaten with a
fork. Bread is, of course, eaten with the fingers, and it would be
absurd to carve it with your knife and fork. It must, on the contrary,
always be broken when not buttered, and you should never put a slice of
dry bread to your mouth to bite a piece off. Most fresh fruit, too, is
eaten with the natural prongs, but when you have peeled an orange or
apple, you should cut it with the aid of the fork, unless you can
succeed in breaking it. Apropos of which, I may hint that no epicure
ever yet put a knife to an apple, and that an orange should be peeled
with a spoon. But the art of peeling an orange so as to hold its own
juice, and its own sugar too, is one that can scarcely be taught in a
book.
"However, let us go to dinner, and I will soon tell you whether you are
a well-bred man or not; and here let me premise that what is good
manners for a small dinner is good manners for a large one, and _vice
versa_. Now, the first thing you do is to sit down. Stop, sir! pray do
not cram yourself into the table in that way; no, nor sit a yard from
it, like that. How graceless, inconvenient, and in the way of
conversation! Why, dear me! you are positively putting your elbows on
the table, and now you have got your hands fumbling about with the
spoons and forks, and now you are nearly knocking my new hock glasses
over. Can't you take your hands down, sir? Didn't you, learn that in the
nursery? Didn't your mamma say to you, "Never put your hands above the
table except to carve or eat?" Oh! but come, no nonsense, sit up, if you
please. I can't have your fine head of hair forming a side dish on my
table; you must not bury your face in the plate; you came to show it,
and it ought to be alive. Well, but there is no occasion to throw your
head back like that, you look like an alderman, sir, _after_ dinner.
Pray, don't lounge in that sleepy way. You are here to eat, drink, and
be merry. You can sleep when you get home.
"Well, then, I suppose you can see your napkin. Got none, indeed! Very
likely, in _my_ house. You may be sure that I never sit down to a meal
without napkins. I don't want to make my tablecloths unfit for use, and
I don't want to make my trousers unwearable. Well, now, we are all
seated, you can unfold it on your knees; no, no; don't tuck it into your
waistcoat like an alderman; and what! what on earth do you mean by
wiping your forehead with it? Do you take it for a towel? Well, never
mind, I am consoled that you did not go farther, and use it as a
pocket-handkerchief. So talk away to the lady on your right, and wait
till soup is handed to you. By the way, that waiting is the most
important part of table manners, and, as much as possible, you should
avoid asking for anything or helping yourself from the table. Your soup
you eat with a spoon--I don't know what else you _could_ eat it
with--but then it must be one of good size. Yes, that will do, but I beg
you will not make that odious noise in drinking your soup. It is louder
than a dog lapping water, and a cat would be quite genteel to it. Then
you need not scrape up the plate in that way, nor even tilt it to get
the last drop. I shall be happy to send you some more; but I must just
remark, that it is not the custom to take two helpings of soup, and it
is liable to keep other people waiting, which, once for all, is a
selfish and intolerable habit. But don't you hear the servant offering
you sherry? I wish you would attend, for my servants have quite enough
to do, and can't wait all the evening while you finish that very mild
story to Miss Goggles. Come, leave that decanter alone. I had the wine
put on the table to fill up; the servants will hand it directly, or, as
we are a small party, I will tell you to help yourself; but pray, do
not be so officious. (There, I have sent him some turbot to keep him
quiet. I declare he cannot make up his mind.) You are keeping my servant
again, sir. Will you, or will you not, do turbot? Don't examine it in
that way; it is quite fresh, I assure you; take or decline it. Ah, you
take it, but that is no reason why you should take up a knife too. Fish,
I repeat, must never be touched with a knife. Take a fork in the right
and a small piece of bread in the left hand. Good, but----? Oh! that is
atrocious; of course you must not swallow the bones, but you should
rather do so than spit them out in that way. Put up your napkin like
this, and land the said bone on your plate. Don't rub your head in the
sauce, my good man, nor go progging about after the shrimps or oysters
therein. Oh! how horrid! I declare your mouth was wide open and full of
fish. Small pieces, I beseech you; and once for all, whatever you eat,
keep your mouth _shut_, and never attempt to talk with it full.
"So now you have got a pate. Surely you are not taking two on your
plate! There is plenty of dinner to come, and one is quite enough. Oh!
dear me, you are incorrigible. What! a knife to cut that light brittle
pastry? No, nor fingers, never. Nor a spoon--almost as bad. Take your
fork, sir, your fork; and, now you have eaten, oblige me by wiping your
mouth and moustache with your napkin, for there is a bit of the pastry
hanging to the latter, and looking very disagreeable. Well, you can
refuse a dish if you like. There is no positive necessity for you to
take venison if you don't want it. But, at any rate, do not be in that
terrific hurry. You are not going off by the next train. Wait for the
sauce and wait for the vegetables; but whether you eat them or not, do
not begin before everybody else. Surely you must take my table for that
of a railway refreshment-room, for you have finished before the person I
helped first. Fast eating is bad for the digestion, my good sir, and not
very good manners either. What! are you trying to eat meat with a fork
alone? Oh! it is sweetbread; I beg your pardon, you are quite right. Let
me give you a rule: Everything that can be cut without a knife, should
be cut with a fork alone. Eat your vegetables, therefore, with a fork.
No, there is no necessity to take a spoon for peas; a fork in the right
hand will do. What! did I really see you put your knife into your mouth?
Then I must give you up. Once for all, and ever, the knife is to cut,
not to help with. Pray, do not munch in that noisy manner; chew your
food well, but softly. _Eat slowly._ Have you not heard that Napoleon
lost the battle of Leipsic by eating too fast? It is a fact though. His
haste caused indigestion, which made him incapable of attending to the
details of the battle. You see you are the last person eating at table.
Sir, I will not allow you to speak to my servants in that way. If they
are so remiss as to oblige you to ask for anything, do it gently, and in
a low tone, and thank a servant just as much as you would his master.
Ten to one he is as good a man; and because he is your inferior in
position, is the very reason you should treat him courteously. Oh! it is
of no use to ask me to take wine; far from pacifying me, it will only
make me more angry, for I tell you the custom is quite gone out, except
in a few country villages, and at a mess-table. Nor need you ask the
lady to do so. However, there is this consolation, if you should ask any
one to take wine with you, he or she _cannot_ refuse, so you have your
own way. Perhaps next you will be asking me to hob and nob, or
_trinquer_ in the French fashion with arms encircled. Ah! you don't
know, perhaps, that when a lady _trinques_ in that way with you, you
have a right to finish off with a kiss. Very likely, indeed! But it _is_
the custom in familiar circles in France, but then we are not Frenchmen.
_Will_ you attend to your lady, sir? You did not come merely to eat, but
to make yourself agreeable. Don't sit as glum as the Memnon at Thebes;
talk and be pleasant. Now you have some pudding. No knife--no, _no_. A
spoon, if you like, but better still, a fork. Yes, ice requires a spoon;
there is a small one handed you, take that.
"Say 'no.' This is the fourth time wine has been handed to you, and I am
sure you have had enough. Decline this time if you please. Decline that
dish too. Are you going to eat of everything that is handed? I pity you
if you do. No, you must not ask for more cheese, and you must eat it
with your fork. Break the rusk with your fingers. Good. You are drinking
a glass of old port. Do not quaff it down at a gulp in that way. Never
drink a whole glassful of anything at once.
"Well, here is the wine and dessert. Take whichever wine you like, but
remember you must keep to that, and not change about. Before you go up
stairs I will allow you a glass of sherry after your claret, but
otherwise drink of one wine only! You don't mean to say you are helping
yourself to wine before the ladies! At least, offer it to the one next
to you, and then pass it on, gently, not with a push like that. Do not
drink so fast; you will hurry me in passing the decanters, if I see that
your glass is empty. You need not eat dessert till the ladies are gone,
but offer them whatever is nearest to you. And now they are gone, draw
your chair near mine, and I will try and talk more pleasantly to you.
You will come out admirably at your next dinner with all my teaching.
What! you are excited, you are talking loud to the colonel. Nonsense!
Come and talk easily to me or to your nearest neighbor. There, don't
drink any more wine, for I see you are getting romantic. You oblige me
to make a move. You have had enough of those walnuts; you are keeping
me, my dear sir. So now to coffee [one cup] and tea, which I beg you
will not pour into your saucer to cool. Well, the dinner has done you
good, and me too. Let us be amiable to the ladies, but not too much
so."
CARVING.
Carving is an art which every parent should teach his sons and
daughters. Nothing can be more disagreeable and unpleasant than to be
placed before any particular dish without being able to help it
properly. It is generally the case when the head of the family is a good
carver; for he so objects to see things badly cut, that he prefers
carving everything himself. We remember once, when very young, being
invited to a large dinner, and we were placed before a ham. We began to
hack this article, when the general, the founder of the feast, said to
his servant, "Take that ham away from that young gentleman, and place it
before some one who knows how to carve." From that moment we determined
to achieve the art of carving, and after great difficulty we succeeded,
and succeeded so well that once, in carving a hare, a clergyman, one of
the guests, remarked what an excellent invention that of boning a hare
was, we carved it with so much ease; but determined to have a joke at
the expense of the clergyman, we laid down the knife and fork, and said,
"Sir, we are surprised that you could express such an opinion, when it
is well known that it has filled more jails and sent more men to the
treadmill than any other thing you can name." "What, sir, taking the
bones out of a hare?" "No, sir, 'boning' the hare first." No one can
carve without practice, and consequently children ought to begin young,
in order to acquire a thorough knowledge of the art. It is difficult to
describe the method of carving, even with drawings or diagrams; but the
reader who wishes to learn, may, by observing how good carvers proceed,
and applying what he has seen to what he reads, with practice, soon
become an adept.
And first, never stand up to carve; this is the greatest vulgarity, and
even a very short man need not stand up. A little, deformed, hump-back
friend of ours, used to give very good dinners; he carved well, and
delighted in showing it, but he had a failing--always to have very large
joints of meat before him. One day a stranger guest arrived late, dinner
had been served, even soup and fish had been removed; the host was
absolutely hidden behind an enormous round of beef, and the stranger saw
nothing at the head of the table but the monstrous joint, round which a
knife was revolving with wonderful rapidity. Steam was the subject of
talk at the moment, and he exclaimed, "I did not know that you had
brought steam to this perfection." "What perfection?" "Why, don't you
see that round of beef is carved by steam." This was enough; it got the
hunchback's steam up, and, jumping on the chair, he demanded who dare
insult him in his own house; and it was with great difficulty that his
friends could appease his wrath, and turn his steam off. Ever since the
time of Adam, men and women have been prone to excuse themselves and lay
the blame on others. Thus, a person who could not swim, complained
bitterly of the want of buoyancy in the water; and another, who had
frightfully mangled a leg of mutton in attempting to carve, declared
that the sheep was deformed and had a bandy leg.
In France, at all large dinners, dishes are carved at the sideboard by a
servant, and then handed round in small portions. It saves a great deal
of trouble, and prevents the shower of gravy with which awkward carvers
will often inundate the table-cloth, and sometimes their neighbors. It
would be well if this custom was universal in America, where it is rare
to find a good carver. In helping the soup, never say, "Will you let me
assist you to some of this soup?" this is vulgar in the extreme. The
word assist is not "selon les regles de la bonne societe," but simply,
"Shall I send you some?" Now, any one can help soup. But then there are
two ways, the right and the wrong. First, then, your soup plates should
be held by the servant near the tureen, and you should judge the number
you have to help by the quantity of soup you have, to avoid the
possibility of consuming all your soup before you have helped your
guests; give one spoonful of soup to each plate, and avoid by all means
slopping the soup either into the tureen or over the table-cloth, or
over the side of the plate, all of which are extreme vulgarities. And
here we beg to say--notwithstanding Brummel having said, in speaking of
some one with whom he could find no other fault, that he was a sort of
fellow who would come twice to soup,--that, if very good, it is not
vulgar to eat twice of it; but, _au contraire_, if not good, the worst
possible taste.
The next thing in order is fish. Now, of fish there are several sorts;
the first of the large sorts being
SALMON, the shape of which every one knows; but few people have a whole
salmon at table. The fish should be served always on a strainer, covered
with a small dinner napkin, and the cook should be careful that it be
sent to table whole and unbroken. It should be laid on its side, and
garnished with fried smelts; it should be cut with the trowel, or
fish-knife, immediately down the middle of the side, and helped from the
centre to the back, one slice back and a small slice towards the belly,
which is the richest and fattest part; care should be taken that the
slices are not broken, and with each slice a fried smelt be given.
COD-FISH should be helped differently. Cutting from the back to the
thin part, crossways, and the sound divided so as to give each person a
small portion.
MACKEREL, if boiled, should be divided into four; that is, place your
trowel or fish-knife under the flesh at the tail, and raise up the flesh
to the head, then divide the side in the middle, giving half of the side
to each person, and leaving the bone and head and tail in the dish.
HERRINGS should be helped by giving one to each person.
EELS are always cut in small pieces, and all the attention required is
that those which are the largest are the best.
PATTIES AND ENTREES ought to be so arranged that they can be served with
a spoon, and require no carving. The roast is therefore the next thing
that calls for observation.
A LEG OF MUTTON is, or rather ought to be served exactly the reverse
side to a haunch of mutton; that is, it ought to lie on the flat side,
and so show the beveled side to the carver. A slice is cut in the
center; and then the carver is to cut to the bone right and left, the
thick side being most esteemed. The best fat is that which lies at the
thick end, near to the bone; there is not much of it, but it is
considered a delicacy.
A SIRLOIN OF BEEF.--The most elegant way to cut this joint is by making
an incision from the chine-bone to the flap, directly in the center, and
helping from either side. However, this is not the most economical way;
and therefore it is to be cut thin on the outside, from the chine-bone
to the flaps, with fat from underneath. Many people like the under side,
or inner loin. If this is eaten hot--and it is best hot--the joint
should be turned, and the meat cut across in slices rather thicker than
from the top side. Great care should be taken not to splash the gravy in
turning, by placing the fork well into the flap, so as to secure a firm
hold.
A FORE QUARTER OF LAMB should be carved without removing the shoulder
from the dish on which it is served. This is very difficult; but if well
done, very elegant. First, then, let us give all the directions
necessary for this dish. When it comes before the carver, he should
place the carving-knife under the shoulder, and dexterously remove it.
Having so done, he should place under the shoulder a slice of fresh
butter, and then prepare some salt, cayenne pepper, and the juice of an
orange or a lemon, which should be also poured over the part of the lamb
from which the shoulder has been separated, and then pour the gravy with
the gravy-spoon over the lamb, so that the butter, etc., may amalgamate
well with the gravy. You have then the breast and the ribs, and the
shoulder on the dish, ready to help your friends. Before separating the
ribs, you must cut off the breast, the bones of which the butcher has
previously broken, so as to enable you to do it with ease. As, however,
many people cannot carve so much in one dish, perhaps the better plan is
to place the shoulder on a separate dish, when it can be cut precisely
as a shoulder of mutton, and the ribs and breast can be more easily
divided and helped. Always take care that the butcher joints the meat,
or no man can carve it.
A HIND QUARTER OF LAMB should be carved both as a leg and a loin, giving
either part to those who prefer it.
A SADDLE OF LAMB must be carved like a saddle of mutton.
A LOIN OF LAMB should always be divided at the chine end of the bone,
and helped in chops.
A HAUNCH OF VENISON OR MUTTON is the leg and part of the loin. It should
be cut across, near the knuckle, and then another cut should pass down
the center. The slices should be taken from the left and the right of
this; those on the left, containing the most fat, are preferred by
epicures. The fat and gravy must be equally distributed. These joints
should always be served on a hot-water dish, or on a dish with a lamp
under it, so as to keep the meat hot. Without one or other of these
contrivances, no one should presume to give a haunch of venison to his
friends. Before it is sent to table, the cook should pour over the
haunch one wine-glassful of hot port wine.
AN EDGE-BONE OF BEEF should be placed on the dish standing on the
thickest end. The carver should first cut off a slice horizontally from
the end to the fat, an inch thick; but in helping, it cannot be cut too
thin, giving to each person hard and soft fat. If cut thick it is hard
and indigestible.
A ROUND OR BUTTOCK OF BEEF is cut like a fillet of veal; that is, a
slice having been horizontally removed all round, the slices should be
cut very thin and very even. To properly carve a large round of beef, a
long carving-knife, such as is used in a cook-shop, is necessary.
A FILLET OF VEAL is a solid piece of meat without bone; it is therefore
easily carved by any one who possesses a sharp knife; the guard of the
fork should be up, to prevent accidents. The veal should be well
roasted; for if the gravy is in it, it is very unwholesome. The slices
may be cut thicker than beef, and the stuffing should be found in the
center, and in the flap which surrounds it.
A BREAST OF VEAL.--The richest part of this is called the brisket. The
knife must be put about four inches from this, and cut through it, which
will separate the ribs from the brisket; serve whichever is liked.
CALF'S HEAD is a dish much esteemed here; but, as generally eaten,
plainly boiled, it is tasteless, insipid, and very objectionable--while
cooked a la tortue, as in France, nothing can be better. It should
always be boned and rolled; but if served whole, it is to be cut down
the center, and helped in slices from either side. A portion of the
sweetbread, which generally accompanies a boiled calf's head, should be
given with each portion. If the flesh about the socket of the eye be
preferred, the eye itself being always taken out, the knife should be
inserted into the orifice, and the meat scooped out. The
palate--generally esteemed a delicacy--is situated under the head. This
should be cut into small portions, so that every one may have a share.
SHOULDER OF MUTTON.--The joint being placed with the knuckle toward the
right hand, observe that there is an angular piece of fat next you.
Having helped your company from this part, you may, perhaps, imagine
that your shoulder of mutton is exhausted, and will not yield a further
dividend. However, you may get from both sides of a large shoulder
enough to help ten people, provided your slices are not too thick, which
they should not be. The fat is to be cut from the aforesaid angular bit
in slices, longways. After the right and left sides are exhausted, and
the carver stopped by the knuckle on one side and the blade-bone on the
other, the end of the shoulder is to be turned, and cut straight down
from the center bone to the end, comprising the three best slices of the
joint. If more is required, the shoulder may be reversed on the dish,
and four good slices will be found on the under side.
SADDLE OF MUTTON.--This best joint of the sheep is carved in several
ways; the usual way is to cut from the tail to the end close to the
chine-bone, taking the slices horizontally. Another plan is to cut close
to the back-bone, taking slices sideways, so as to help each person with
a piece like a mutton chop, without the bone and very thin. Another way
is to commence, not quite close to the back-bone, and so cut slices,
rounding them a little that they will curl on the plate, cutting in such
a way that the knife slants toward the flaps or fat, and so that the
top of each slice is fat and the bottom lean; and for a small party,
this is by far the most elegant and the best way to carve this excellent
joint.
HAM.--There perhaps is no joint about which there has been so much
contention as the carving of this excellent dish. For family use, do not
have the skin removed, but let it be sent to table as it is dressed. Cut
from the thick end, where there is most fat; as a ham served hot is
always eaten with veal or poultry, you can thus eat the fat. Continue
cutting your ham in this way, and you will be able to eat it all;
whereas, in any other way, all the lean will be eaten, and a large
quantity of fat, which will become rancid, will be lost.
CARVING HAM FOR A PARTY.--The best informed say, carve it like a leg of
mutton, that is, beginning in the center, cut right and left in thin
slices; we say, commence at the knuckle, and cut a thick slice off, and
then cut thin slices as they do in the cook-shops--for, rely on it, by
this time they have found out the most economical way of carving a ham.
A SUCKING PIG must be divided down the middle, and decapitated. This
ought to be done by the cook, and the two sides placed flat on the dish.
Supposing, therefore, this to have been previously done, the carver is
to take off the shoulders and the legs, and help the ribs in such pieces
as he thinks convenient. The ribs are considered best, and you should
give plenty of the sauce or gravy with each plate.
HARE.--There are two ways of carving this difficult dish. The first is
to cut close to the back-bone from the shoulder to the rump on either
side, previously dividing the legs; take off the shoulders; cutting the
back-bone in three or four pieces, and getting two slices on either
side of the hare. The ear is considered the best part. Another way of
carving a hare is by taking off the legs and shoulders, and cutting it
round through the back-bone, dividing into seven or eight pieces. It is
better to bone a hare.
A RABBIT is carved very differently. The legs and shoulders are to be
taken off, and the back divided into three or four pieces.