You start a company to make it go,
It fails, and so you drop it;
It didn't go but yet has gone, and so
You wind it up to stop it.
Stocks in your garden you will surely find
By want of rain are slaughtered;
Yet many stocks have languished and declined
Because they have been watered.
Suppose a company for brewing beer
Should come to a cessation--
That is--"dry up" 'tis curious to hear
It's called "in liquidation."
* * * * *
PREHISTORIC LONDON.--Some archaeologists have discovered an analogy
between the druidical worship and a form of semitic idolatry. It has
been surmised that the Old Bailey derives its name from having been the
site of a temple of Baal.
* * * * *
THE RULE OF ROME.--An "Inquiring City Clerk," fresh from his Roman
history, writes to ask if "S.P.Q.R." stands for "Small profits, quick
returns."
* * * * *
A TEMPERANCE PUBLIC-HOUSE.--A slop-shop.
* * * * *
[Illustration: MELTING MOMENTS
(_Temperature 95 deg. in the Shade._)
_Friend._ "How does this weather suit you, old chap?"
_Bankrupt Proprietor._ "Oh, down to the ground! You see, I'm in
liquidation!"]
* * * * *
THE ORIGINAL COOK'S TOURIST.--Policeman X on his beat.
* * * * *
"THE GREAT PLAGUE OF LONDON."--A barrel-organ.
* * * * *
THE LATEST THING OUT.--The night-light.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Johnny_ (_who has to face a bad Monday, to Manager at
Messrs. R-thsch-ld's_). "Ah! I--want to--ah!--see you about an
overdraft." _Manager._ "How much do you require?" _Johnny._ "Ah!--how
much have you got?"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _French Lady._ "Picca-di-lee Circus." _Obliging
Conductor._ "All right. One pence." _French Lady_ (_who rather prides
herself on her English pronunciation_). "I anterstond ze Engleeshe
langue." _Obliging Conductor._ "Oh, all right. Keep yer 'air on!"]
* * * * *
THE MOST UNPLEASANT MEETING.--Having to meet a bill.
* * * * *
WHAT intimate connection is there between the lungs of London and the
lights of the metropolis?
* * * * *
SAW FOR SLOP TAILORS.--Ill tweeds shrink apace.
* * * * *
A TISSUE OF LIES.--A forged bank-note.
* * * * *
A NICE INVESTMENT.--Amongst the advertisements of new undertakings we
notice one of "The Universal Disinfector Company." Our broker has
instructions to procure us some shares, if they are in good odour.
* * * * *
A TIGHT FIT.--Intoxication.
* * * * *
HOW TO SUPPLY ST. PAUL'S WITH BELLS AND CHIMES _Cheap_.--Melt down the
canons.
* * * * *
A THOUGHT FROM OUR TUB.--Respect everybody's feelings. If you wish to
have your laundress's address, avoid asking her where she "hangs out."
* * * * *
HARD LINES.--Overhead wires.
* * * * *
HOTEL FOR BEE-FANCIERS.--The Hum-mums.
* * * * *
UNPRECEDENTED TRADE ANNOUNCEMENT.--The pig-market was quiet.
* * * * *
MONEY MARKET AND SANITARY INTELLIGENCE.--The unsafest of all deposits is
the deposit of the banks of the Thames.
* * * * *