Because I have long felt a strong desire to know by personal experiment
what London is like at this season of the year.
Because the house requires some repairs, and I am anxious to be on the
spot to look after the workpeople.
Because the progress of my book on Universal Eccentricity renders it
necessary that I should pay frequent visits to the library of the
British Museum.
Because I have been everywhere, and know every place.
Because the sanitary condition of the only place I at all care to go to
is not altogether satisfactory.
Because my Uncle Anthony is expected home every day from Australia, and
I am unwilling to be absent from town when he arrives.
Because my cousin Selina is going to be married from her stepfather's at
Upper Clapton, and insists on my giving her away to the gentleman with
whom she is about to penetrate into the interior of Africa.
Because I am desirous to avail myself of this opportunity of completing
some statistical tables I am compiling, showing the comparative numbers
of horses, carriages, and pedestrians passing my dining-room windows on
the last Saturday in May and the last Saturday in August respectively.
Because my eldest son is reading with a private tutor for his army
examination, and I feel I am of some use to him in his studies.
Because my Aunt Philippa is detained in town by an attack of gout, and
expects me to call and sit with her three times a day.
Because I am determined to put into execution my long-cherished design
of thoroughly exploring the British Museum, the National Gallery, the
South Kensington Museum, St. Paul's, Westminster Abbey, the public
monuments, and the City churches.
Because it is pecuniarily inconvenient to me to be anywhere else.
* * * * *
NOTICE.--The gentleman who, the other day, ran away from home, without
stopping to take his breath, is requested to fetch it as quickly as
possible.
* * * * *
[Illustration: FOGGED.--_Cabman_ (_who thinks he has been passing a line
of linkmen_). "Is this right for Paddington?" _Linkman._ "'Course it is!
First to the right and straight on. 'Aven't I told ye that three times
already? Why, you've been drivin' round this square for the last 'arf
hour!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: VIRTUOUS INDIGNATION.--_Betting Man_ (_to his Partner_).
"Look 'ere, Joe! I 'ear you've been gamblin' on the Stock Exchange! Now,
a man _must_ draw the line _somewhere_; and if that kind of thing goes
on, you and me will 'ave to part company!"]
* * * * *