IN WHICH THE SPOOK PUTS OUR COLONEL ON PAROLE IN HIS
TURN, SAVES THE HUNT CLUB, AND WRITES A SPEECH
In the interval between the treasure séances we interfered as much as
possible with the administration of the camp, the Spook butting in
wherever an occasion offered with suggestions for the amelioration of
the lot of our comrades. Our most successful effort was in connection
with the Hunt Club.
Shortly before we had got ourselves locked up, some fifteen or twenty
officers had decided to form a Hunt Club. The idea was to purchase
greyhounds, and, with Kiazim’s permission, to hunt once or twice a week
over the hills in the neighbourhood. The membership of the Club was
strictly limited, for it was thought that Kiazim would not allow more
than a few officers to be out at the same time, as the number of spare
sentries at his disposal was small.
Hill and I knew no more of the matter than that the idea was being
entertained by a select few, and was being kept secret. A few days after
we had been imprisoned the Pimple informed us that the Commandant had
granted permission for the Club to be formed, that a couple of long dogs
had been bought, and that there was a good deal of ill-feeling in the
camp amongst the eighty odd officers who had been left out in the cold
and were not members of the combine which had made this “corner” in
cross-country exercise. We decided to try to get Kiazim to extend his
permission not only to members but to anyone who wanted to hunt. But we
could not see how to interfere.
On the 15th March we were informed by the Pimple, in the course of his
usual daily visit, that the Commandant was “what you say in a hole.” It
appeared that, when he gave permission for the formation of a Hunt Club,
he had overlooked a standing order which strictly forbade such
organizations. Communications had now been received from Constantinople
drawing his attention to the order and reiterating the prohibition of
all hunting for prisoners.
Constantinople orders must be obeyed, so Kiazim was going to the camp
next day to withdraw his permission and close down the Club. That night
Hill and I discussed the matter and formed our plans. We must interfere
to save the Hunt Club. We decided to pit the authority of the Spook
against that of the Turkish War Office.
On the 16th we sent the Cook with a note to the Pimple telling him that
the spook-board had been rapping and tapping and making curious noises
all night, and we thought the Spook wanted to communicate something. The
Pimple came at once, and we began our sitting.
The Spook began by warning Moïse not to tell the mediums what the glass
was writing, because if he did so the mediums would refuse to go on, as
the information concerned their fellow-officers. If Jones or Hill
questioned him afterwards about the séance, he was to say that the Spook
had been arranging for him an introduction to a certain beautiful lady,
and that the matter was private.
Then we settled down to it. The glass wrote steadily, Moïse getting more
and more excited, but keeping silent except for an occasional studiously
innocent ejaculation. He thought, of course, that we did not know what
was being written.
The Spook said It wanted to save the Commandant from disgrace. He had
made a bad mistake in giving permission for a Hunt Club, but he would
make a much worse one if he carried out his intention of prohibiting it.
Such action would make the camp exceedingly angry with Kiazim Bey, and
the thought-waves they generated against him would be of the greatest
assistance to OOO and the opposition. They would “block” the treasure
messages! Further, at present the prisoners were happy and contented.
Nobody wanted to escape. But, as sure as Kiazim lived, his one hope of
preventing escape (which would disgrace him) lay in keeping his promise.
The best way of angering an Englishman was to break your promise to him,
and if the breaking of the promise touched his pocket[31] as well as his
comfort, the Englishman became quite madly unreasonable, while the
Scotsmen (and the camp was full of them) turned into wild beasts. They
could no more stop the prisoners from breaking out than they could stop
the sea. Therefore it behoved Kiazim Bey to be careful. If he riled the
camp many would run away, not so much with the idea of reaching England,
which was hopeless, as in order to secure the removal of the Commandant
from his post; and the most likely of all to do this was Colonel Maule,
who—as he knew from experience—was a nasty, vicious, spiteful fellow
where his physical exercise was concerned.
“Now,” said the Spook, “what you fear is that one or more of these
fellows will escape while out hunting, and then you will get into
trouble with the War Office for allowing them to hunt in the face of
orders. If you take my advice, nothing of this will happen.
Constantinople will not know. I shall arrange everything for you. _You
need only concern yourself with Maule—I shall see to the rest._ Go to
Maule AT ONCE. Tell him of the standing order. Say you had overlooked it
when you gave permission for the Club, but that you will not go back on
that permission now, although it may get you into trouble, if he will
meet you halfway. Then ask him for his parole not to escape while out
hunting, and tell him you expect him to hold himself responsible that
none of the others in the Hunt Club will use it as a means to escape. If
you do this I guarantee everything will be all right. But if you persist
in your decision to withdraw your promise, you will be helping OOO & Co.
and will have extra difficulty in finding the treasure.”
The séance ended about 3.30 p.m. The Pimple said he had no time to tell
us anything. He went off hotfoot to the Commandant. By 6.30 he was back.
He burst into our room in great excitement as we were starting dinner,
and cried out:
“It is all over! Wonderful! Wonderful! It is marvellous!”
“What is wonderful?” we asked.
Then Moïse remembered that he had been forbidden to tell us of the
Spook’s advice. His face was a study.
“What is wonderful?” we repeated.
“The—the beautiful lady,” he stammered. “She—she was very kind to me!
The Spook—the Spook introduced us.” He plunged into a long and confused
story, to which we listened with the utmost solemnity, of a
superlatively beauteous damsel whom he said he had discovered under the
Spook’s guidance in one of the back streets of Yozgad.
At a later séance he asked for permission to tell us the whole story.
The Spook gave it. We then learned that the Commandant had gone to
Colonel Maule at once, and carried out the Spook’s instructions. The
Colonel had gladly given his own parole not to escape whilst out
hunting, _and had added that as President of the Club he had already
taken a similar parole from all other members of the Hunt, and therefore
the Commandant might be quite easy in his mind that the privilege he had
granted would not be abused_!
This was one of a number of coincidences which greatly added to the
renown of our Spook. Colonel Maule had taken these paroles from our
fellow-officers after we had left the camp, and neither Hill nor I knew
anything about them. We could almost equally well have persuaded Kiazim
Bey to let his promise stand without sending him to Maule at all, and
our object in sending him was to get a playful smack at our Senior
Officer by putting him on parole as a _quid pro quo_ for the paroles he
had taken out of us. Indeed, this was why the Spook limited Kiazim’s
attentions to the Colonel, who we knew had no intention of escaping, and
forbade interference with the rest of the camp. But after Maule’s
statement, following so naturally on the Spook’s promise, nothing on
earth would have convinced Kiazim that it was Maule himself (and not the
Spook acting through him) who had put the others on parole. The incident
became for the Turks one more marvellous example of our Spook’s power of
controlling the minds of others, and in the face of this experience
Kiazim readily believed that the Spook would keep Constantinople in
ignorance of his disobedience to orders. So permission was graciously
granted, and the Hunt Club became one of the institutions of Yozgad. The
authors of “_450 Miles to Freedom_” called it “the most useful” of the
concessions granted at Yozgad. “Some of the happiest recollections of
our captivity,” they say, “are those glorious early mornings in the
country, far away from the ugly town which was our prison. Here, for a
few brief hours, it was almost possible to forget that we were prisoners
of war.” Hill and I are very glad of that!
It is of course possible that the Commandant would have disobeyed his
own Government without the interference of Hill and myself. Perhaps the
camp could have saved the position off its own bat. Perhaps the parole
not to escape would have been sufficient of itself to induce the
Commandant to disobey his own War Office. But we doubt it very much.
There were other factors that counted more in his decision. These were,
his belief that Constantinople would never know, his fear that if he
angered the camp escapes would certainly take place, and his dread lest
the Spook communication about the treasure be “blocked” by ranging the
thought-waves of the camp against himself and on the side of OOO.
So elated were we by our success that four days later, on the 20th
March, we laid a plot to commit Kiazim to an open declaration of a
friendly policy towards the camp. That night, in recognition of his
kindness in having given permission for ski-ing during the past winter,
he was to be the guest of the Ski Club at a dinner in Posh Castle.
We guessed that someone was likely to make a speech thanking him for the
privilege he had granted. It was easy enough to prophesy the sort of
thing that would be said, and we thought it would be a good stroke to
write his reply. Therefore, towards the close of a séance held at noon
on the 20th March, the Spook suddenly said:
“Would the Superior like to make a very popular speech tonight? I can
help him, though I know he can do it quite well himself.”
MOÏSE. “Certainly. He would like to make a very popular speech.”
SPOOK. “Well, begin by saying what he already intends to say about the
pleasure it has given him to meet with the officers on so friendly a
footing. Then let him go on as follows;—‘That our respective countries
are at war is no reason why there should be any personal rancour between
us. It rejoices my heart to think that the past winter has done so much
to create a better understanding. I for my part have learned through
your Ski Club that you Englishmen will not necessarily abuse any
privilege granted to you. You, on your part, have, I hope, realized that
I am anxious to concede every possible liberty I can to add to your
happiness. The only condition I set before you is that no special
concession I grant should be abused. I feel now, after this winter, that
there is none of you who will abuse my confidence. Since the days of
your Crusades, Turks and English have mutually admired one another: let
us do nothing in Yozgad to lessen that admiration. Gentlemen, I
sympathize with you in your misfortune of war, and I shall try to make
your stay in Yozgad as pleasant as possible. As soldiers you know that
regulations are regulations, and must be obeyed. But sometimes it may be
possible to grant you little extra privileges. As officers I know your
great desire is to get back to fight for your country. As gentlemen I
know none of you would abuse my confidence or use any _extra_ liberty I
give you, for the purpose of getting away. Gentlemen, I ask you to drink
to our better friendship, and I couple the toast with the name of the
officer who has done so much to improve our mutual understanding—Lieut.
Spink.’”[32]
MOÏSE. “Has he to say that in Turkish or get the English copy and
present it at the end of the dinner?”
SPOOK. “A very good suggestion, Moïse.”
MOÏSE. “Anything more, Sir?”
SPOOK. “This should be given as a reply to a speech. He can add anything
he likes in answer to other speeches. Note, this is only a suggestion. I
am anxious to help the Sup. when I can.”
MOÏSE. “That is very kind of you. What about YYY and KKK?”
SPOOK. “No treasure business today. Good-bye.”
Several hours later, about 5 p.m., Moïse came to us in a state of great
excitement, and said, “Major Gilchrist has just given me a speech to
translate into Turkish. It is to be given to the Commandant tonight. I
am sure the Spook has written this also. Let us ask him.”
We got out the Ouija, and Moïse read the speech aloud to the Control.
The speech was as follows:
“M. le Commandant, and Gentlemen. We are assembled here to-night by the
kind permission of the Commandant to celebrate the end of the Ski
season. During the past three and a half months we have been very
fortunate in having had excellent snow and suitable weather for ski-ing,
but this would have availed us nothing if the Commandant, with a truly
sporting spirit, had not stretched a point and allowed us full vent for
our energies. If the Commandant looks at those assembled here, I am sure
he will agree that we all show by our fitness the great benefit he has
conferred on us by allowing us so much freedom to get exercise and
plenty of fresh air. Gentlemen, I ask you to rise with me and drink the
health of the Commandant according to our usual custom, with musical
honours. ‘For he’s a jolly good fellow, etc.’”
MOÏSE (to Control). “Is your speech in reply to this?”
SPOOK. “Of course it is, you might have guessed it.”
MOÏSE. “We did guess it, Sir. Thank you very much indeed. It is
wonderful.”
What really _was_ wonderful was the fact that Gilchrist should have hit
upon the idea of getting his speech written out in Turkish to be handed
to Kiazim Bey at the dinner—and that the very same idea should have
cropped up in our séance a few hours earlier. For Kiazim, with the
Spook’s approval, was to hand in an English copy in the same way! So far
as I am aware the handing over of a written translation of a speech had
never been thought of at a previous function in Yozgad. It was another
of those coincidences which may help the reader to sympathize with our
victims’ belief in the powers of the Spook. Indeed, it is not a bad
parallel to the “Honolulu incident” in _Raymond_, and I may be
considered wrong in calling it a “coincidence.” Spiritualists would no
doubt find an easy explanation in “telepathy.” Pah!
Bimbashi Kiazim Bey spent the afternoon in learning his speech by heart,
and delivered it in great style at the dinner that night, to the
accompaniment of uproarious cheering, which we could hear from our room.
Next day the English copy of it was posted up on the camp notice-board.
A good many people thought the English too idiomatic to be the Pimple’s
composition, but no one knew who had written it, and the general
impression was that the Commandant was showing signs of being a reformed
character.
The five courses of the Ski Club dinner were sent over to us by our good
friends in Posh Castle, and a bottle of raki with them. The Spook, it
will be remembered, had luckily given us a complete holiday to eat what
we liked on this day. (This was _not_ a coincidence but the reverse.) We
knew it was likely to be our last decent meal for many a long day, and
we did full justice to it. For in response to repeated and urgent secret
signals from us, Price had at last consented to send us no more food,
and henceforward, until we had beaten the doctors, our diet was to be
bread and tea. In the lean days that lay ahead, in misery and sickness
and starvation, that dinner was to be a very joyous memory to both of
us.
Indeed, from the soup to the raki liqueur, it was a notable feast, and
it heartened us. When we had finished we stood at our window, listening
to the songs and laughter and cheering from across the way, and peppered
the Posh Castle windows with our pea-shooters by way of accompaniment.
One of the guests, who had drowned his sorrows with some thoroughness,
staggered out into Posh Castle yard for a little fresh air, and sat him
against the wall, his head in his hands, close beside a large tin bath.
We collected snow and snow-balled him from our retreat. When we missed
him, we hit the bath, till it boomed like a 4·7. The poor fellow was too
far gone to realize what was happening. He apostrophized the bath as a
“noisy blighter,” and every time he was hit called the empty world to
witness that it was a “dirty trick, a dirty trick to shtop a f’low
shleeping.” A particularly nasty smack finally brought him to his feet
and he rushed back into Posh Castle roaring out something about the
“neshessity for instant action by counter attacksh.” An hour later the
company broke up and as the sentries marshalled them under our windows,
preparatory to marching them to their respective homes, we thrust out
our heads and sang them a lullaby:
“We’ll all go thought-reading to-day,
In prison it’s not very gay;
But a raki or two makes a difference to you,
So we’ll all go thought-reading to-day.”
There was a second’s silence down below, a silence with something of
consternation in it: then Winnie Smith bellowed out:
“It’s Bones and Hill! Good lads! Keep your tails up! Three cheers for
the criminals!”
A yell of greeting went up from the crowd. The sentries, alarmed at this
disobedience of the Commandant’s orders, began to hustle them, but
Winnie shouted again.
“Hush, Winnie,” said a voice we recognized. “Do you want the whole camp
hanged? Come away and leave ’em.” And Winnie was dragged off by his
mentor. But at the corner he drowned all expostulation in a cheery
“Good-night” to us. Thank you, Winnie! Everybody knows you are a
happy-go-lucky, impulsive, generous, and most injudicious young rascal,
but you have a heart of gold to a friend in trouble. Hill and I weren’t
in trouble, of course, but you thought we were.
On the 21st March, in accordance with the Spook’s orders, our diet was
reduced to toast and tea. To begin with our allowance was one pound of
dry bread a day. Later we reduced it to eight ounces. Our diet had to be
lowered more suddenly than was intended by the Spook originally, “in
order to counteract Moïse’s mistake at the last séance.”[33] On this day
we were taken for our first (and only) walk. We felt very empty.
_22nd March._—“On his morning visit,” my diary reads, “Moïse told us
that the Commandant’s wife cannot sleep for thinking of the treasure.
With a view to explaining their coming access of wealth, she and her
husband have started a rumour that they have sold some property in
Constantinople. Moïse has started a similar rumour about himself. He
tells us that relations between the treasure-hunters are getting
strained, and unless the Spook apportions shares in the treasure, there
will be trouble. The Cook says he will not be put off with a small
share, and unless the Commandant gives him at least a quarter he will
report the whole business to the War Office.”
_23rd March._—“A quiet day. Affairs still strained between the
Commandant and the Cook, who is a man of one idea,—money! The Spook
refuses to interfere or to apportion the shares.”
_24th March._—“The low diet is working wonders. Hill and I are getting
beautifully into tune. Several times during his visit Moïse noticed that
we both made the same remark in the same words at the same moment. ‘Your
two minds,’ said he, ‘are obviously rapidly becoming one mind.’”
Of course they were! But the Pimple never knew what a lot of practice it
took to do it naturally.
[Illustration: IN THE PINE WOODS.—“WINNIE” AND NIGHTINGALE ON SKIS]