PARIS, August, 1805.
MY LORD:--Joseph Bonaparte leads a much more retired life, and sees less
company, than any of his brothers or sisters. Except the members of his
own family, he but seldom invites any guests, nor has Madame Joseph those
regular assemblies and circles which Madame Napoleon and Madame Louis
Bonaparte have. His hospitality is, however, greater at his countryseat
Morfontaine than at his hotel here. Those whom he likes, or does not
mistrust (who, by the bye, are very few), may visit him without much
formality in the country, and prolong their stay, according to their own
inclination or discretion; but they must come without their servants, or
send them away on their arrival.
As soon as an agreeable visitor presents himself, it is the etiquette of
the house to consider him as an inmate; but to allow him at the same time
a perfect liberty to dispose of his hours and his person as suits his
convenience or caprice. In this extensive and superb mansion a suite of
apartments is assigned him, with a valet-de--chambre, a lackey, a
coachman, a groom, and a jockey, all under his own exclusive command. He
has allotted him a chariot, a gig, and riding horses, if he prefers such
an exercise. A catalogue is given him of the library of the chateau; and
every morning he is informed what persons compose the company at
breakfast, dinner, and supper, and of the hours of these different
repasts. A bill of fare is at the same time presented to him, and he is
asked to point out those dishes to which he gives the preference, and to
declare whether he chooses to join the company or to be served in his own
rooms.
During the summer season, players from the different theatres of Paris
are paid to perform three times in the week; and each guest, according to
the period of his arrival, is asked, in his turn, to command either a
comedy or a tragedy, a farce or a ballet. Twice in the week concerts are
executed by the first performers of the opera-bouffe; and twice in the
week invitations to tea-parties are sent to some of the neighbours, or
accepted from them.
Besides four billiard-tables, there are other gambling-tables for Rouge
et Noir, Trente et Quarante, Faro, La Roulette, Birribi, and other games
of hazard. The bankers are young men from Corsica, to whom Joseph, who
advances the money, allows all the gain, while he alone suffers the loss.
Those who are inclined may play from morning till night, and from night
till morning, without interruption, as no one interferes. Should Joseph
hear that any person has been too severely treated by Fortune, or
suspects that he has not much cash remaining, some rouleaux of napoleons
d’or are placed on the table of his dressing-room, which he may use or
leave untouched, as he judges proper.
The hours of Joseph Bonaparte are neither so late as yours in England,
nor so early as they were formerly in France. Breakfast is ready served
at ten o’clock, dinner at four, and supper at nine. Before midnight he
retires to bed with his family, but visitors do as they like and follow
their own usual hours, and their servants are obliged to wait for them.
When any business calls Joseph away, either to preside in the Senate
here, or to travel in the provinces, he notifies the visitors, telling
them at the same time not to displace themselves on account of his
absence, but wait till his return, as they would not observe any
difference in the economy of his house, of which Madame Joseph always
does the honours, or, in her absence, some lady appointed by her.
Last year, when Joseph first assumed a military rank, he passed nearly
four months with the army of England on the coast or in Brabant. On his
return, all his visitors were gone, except a young poet of the name of
Montaigne, who does not want genius, but who is rather too fond of the
bottle. Joseph is considered the best gourmet or connoisseur in liquors
and wines of this capital, and Montaigne found his Champagne and burgundy
so excellent that he never once went to bed that he was not heartily
intoxicated. But the best of the story is that he employed his mornings
in composing a poem holding out to abhorrence the disgusting vice of
drunkenness, and presented it to Joseph, requesting permission to
dedicate it to him when published. To those who have read it, or only
seen extracts from it, the compilation appears far from being
contemptible, but Joseph still keeps the copy, though he has made the
author a present of one hundred napoleons d’or, and procured him a place
of an amanuensis in the chancellory of the Senate, having resolved never
to accept any dedication, but wishing also not to hurt the feelings of
the author by a refusal.
In a chateau where so many visitors of licentious and depraved morals
meet, of both sexes, and where such an unlimited liberty reigns,
intrigues must occur, and have of course not seldom furnished materials
for the scandalous chronicle. Even Madame Joseph herself has either been
gallant or calumniated. Report says that to the nocturnal assiduities of
Eugene de Beauharnais and of Colonel la Fond-Blaniac she is exclusively
indebted to the honour of maternity, and that these two rivals even
fought a duel concerning the right of paternity. Eugene de Beauharnais
never was a great favourite with Joseph Bonaparte, whose reserved manners
and prudence form too great a contrast to his noisy and blundering way to
accord with each other. Before he set out for Italy, it was well known
in our fashionable circles that he had been interdicted the house of his
uncle, and that no reconciliation took place, notwithstanding the
endeavours of Madame Napoleon. To humble him still more, Joseph even
nominated la Fond-Blaniac an equerry to his wife, who, therefore, easily
consoled herself for the departure of her dear nephew.
The husband of Madame Miot (one of Madame Joseph’s ladies-in-waiting) was
not so patient, nor such a philosopher as Joseph Bonaparte. Some
charitable person having reported in the company of a ‘bonne amie’ of
Miot, that his wife did not pass her nights in solitude, but that she
sought consolation among the many gallants and disengaged visitors at
Morfontaine, he determined to surprise her. It was past eleven o’clock
at night when his arrival was announced to Joseph, who had just retired
to his closet. Madame Miot had been in bed ever since nine, ill of a
migraine, and her husband was too affectionate not to be the first to
inform her of his presence, without permitting anybody previously to
disturb her. With great reluctance, Madame Miot’s maid delivered the key
of her rooms, while she accompanied him with a light. In the antechamber
he found a hat and a greatcoat, and in the closet adjoining the bedroom,
a coat, a waistcoat, and a pair of breeches, with drawers, stockings, and
slippers. Though the maid kept coughing all the time, Madame Miot and
her gallant did not awake from their slumber, till the enraged husband
began to use the bludgeon of the lover, which had also been left in the
closet. A battle then ensued, in which the lover retaliated so
vigorously, that the husband called out “Murder! murder!” with all his
might. The chateau was instantly in an uproar, and the apartments
crowded with half-dressed and half-naked lovers. Joseph Bonaparte alone
was able to separate the combatants; and inquiring the cause of the riot,
assured them that he would suffer no scandal and no intrigues in his
house, without seriously resenting it. An explanation being made, Madame
Miot was looked for but in vain; and the maid declared that, being warned
by a letter from Paris of her husband’s jealousy and determination to
surprise her, her mistress had reposed herself in her room; while, to
punish the ungenerous suspicions of her husband, she had persuaded
Captain d’ Horteuil to occupy her place in her own bed. The maid had no
sooner finished her deposition, than her mistress made her appearance and
upbraided her husband severely, in which she was cordially joined by the
spectators. She inquired if, on seeing the dress of a gentleman, he had
also discovered the attire of a female; and she appealed to Captain d’
Horteuil whether he had not the two preceding nights also slept in her
bed. To this he, of course, assented; adding that, had M. Miot attacked
him the first night, he would not then perhaps have been so roughly
handled as now; for then he was prepared for a visit, which this night
was rather unexpected. This connubial farce ended by Miot begging pardon
of his wife and her gallant; the former of whom, after much entreaty by
Joseph, at last consented to share with him her bed. But being
disfigured with two black eyes and suffering from several bruises, and
also ashamed of his unfashionable behaviour, he continued invisible for
ten days afterwards, and returned to this city as he had left it, by
stealth.
This Niot was a spy under Robespierre, and is a Counsellor of State under
Bonaparte. Without bread, as well as without a home, he was, from the
beginning of the Revolution, one of the most ardent patriots, and the
first republican Minister in Tuscany. After the Sovereign of that
country had, in 1793, joined the League, Miot returned to France, and
was, for his want of address to negotiate as a Minister, shut up to
perform the part of a spy in the Luxembourg, then transformed into a
prison for suspected persons. Thanks to his patriotism, upwards of two
hundred individuals of both sexes were denounced, transferred to the
Conciergerie prison, and afterwards guillotined. After that, until 1799,
he continued so despised that no faction would accept him for an
accomplice; but in the November of that year, after Bonaparte had
declared himself a First Consul, Miot was appointed a tribune, an office
from which he was advanced, in 1802, to be a Counsellor of State. As Miot
squanders away his salary with harlots and in gambling-houses, and is
pursued by creditors he neither will nor can pay, it was merely from
charity that his wife was received among the other ladies of Madame
Joseph Bonaparte’s household.