"No, mother; no. Not less, but more beautiful; not so pale as when
you hang over me at the convent, baptizing me with hot, fast dripping
tears. Now a delicate flush like the pink of an apple bloom
overspreads your cheeks; and your eyes, once so sad, eyes which I
remember as shimmering stars, burning always on the brink of clouds,
and magnified and misty through a soft veil of April rain, are
brighter, happier eyes than those I have so fondly dreamed of. Oh,
mother! mother! Draw me close, hold me tight. Earth has no peace so
holy as the blessed rest in a mother's clasping arms. After the long
winter of separation, it is so sweet to bask in your presence,
thawing like a numb dormouse in the sunshine of May. I knew I should
find joy in the reunion, but how deep, how full, anticipation failed
to paint; and only the blessed reality has taught me."
On the carpet at her mother's feet, with her head in her mother's lap
and her arms folded around her waist, Regina had thrown herself,
feasting her eyes with the beauty of the face smiling down upon her.
It was the second day after her arrival in Paris, and hour after hour
she had poured into eagerly listening ears the recital of her life at
the quiet parsonage, at the stately mansion on Fifth Avenue; and yet
the endless stream of talk flowed on, and neither mother nor child
took cognizance of the flight of time.
Of her past the girl withheld only the acknowledgment of her profound
interest in Mr. Palma, and when questioned concerning his opposition
to her engagement with Mr. Lindsay she had briefly announced her
belief that he was hastening the preparations for his marriage with
Mrs. Carew. Of him she spoke only in quiet terms of respect and
gratitude, and her mother never suspected the spasm of pain that the
bare mention of his name aroused.
Thus far no allusion had been hazarded to the long-veiled mystery of
her parentage, and Mrs. Orme wondered at the exceeding delicacy with
which her daughter avoided every reference that might have been
construed into an inquiry. As the soft motherly hand passed
caressingly over the forehead resting so contentedly on her knee,
Regina continued:
"In all the splendid imagery that makes 'Aurora Leigh' deathless,
nothing affected me half so deeply as the portrait of the motherless
child; and often when I could not sleep, I have whispered in the wee
sma' hours:
"I felt a mother want about the world,
And still went seeking, like a bleating lamb
Left out at night, in shutting up the fold,
As restless as a nest-deserted bird,
Grown chill through something being away, though what--
It knows not. So mothers have God's license to be missed."
"My guardians were noble, kind, high-toned, honourable gentlemen, and
I owe them thanks, but ah! a girl should be ward only to those who
gave her being; and, mother, brown-eyed mother, sweet and holy, it
would have been better for your child had she shared her past with
none but you. Do I weary you with my babble? If so, lay your hand
upon my mouth, and I will watch your dear face, and be silent."
In answer, the mother stooped and kissed many times the perfect lips
that smiled at the pressure; but the likeness to a mouth dangerously
sweet, treacherously beautiful, mocked her, and Regina saw her turn
away her eyes, and felt rather than heard the strangled moan.
"Mother-kisses, the sweetest relic of Eden that followed Eve into a
world of pain. All these dreary years I have kept your memory like a
white angel-image, set it up for worship, offered it the best part of
myself; and I know I have grown jealously exacting, where you are
concerned. I studied because I wished you to be proud of me; I
practised simply that my music might be acceptable and pleasant to
you; and when people praised me, said I was pretty, I rejoiced that
one day I might be considered worthy of you. Something wounded me
when at last we met. Let me tell you, my dearest, that you may take
out the thorn, and heal the grieved spot. The day I came,--how long
ago? for I am in a delicious dream, have been eating the luscious
lotos of realized hope,--the day I came, and saw a new, glorious sun
shining from my mother's eyes, you ran to meet me. I hear you again,
'My baby! my baby!' as you rushed across the floor. You opened your
arms, and when you clasped me to your bosom you bent my head back,
and gazed at me--oh! how eagerly, hungrily; and I saw your face turn
ghastly white, and a great agony sweep across it, and the lips that
kissed me were cold and quivering. To me it was all sweet as heaven;
but the cup of delight I drained, had bitter drops for you. Mother,
tell me, were you disappointed in your daughter?"
"No, darling; no. The little blue-eyed child has grown into a woman,
of whom the haughtiest mother in the land might be proud. My darling
is all I wish her."
"Ah, mother! the flattery is inexpressibly sweet, falling like dew on
parched leaves; but the eyes of your idolatrous baby have grown very
keen, and I know that the sight of me brings you a terrible pain you
cannot hide. Last night, when Mrs. Waul made me shake out my hair to
show its length, and praised it and my eyebrows, you dropped my hand,
and walked away; and in the mirror on the wall, I saw your
countenance shaken with grief. What is it? We have been apart so
long, do take me into your heart fully; tell me why you look at me,
and turn aside and shiver?"
Her clasping arms tightened about her mother's waist, and after a
short silence, Mrs. Orme exclaimed:
"It is true. It has always been so. From the hour when you were born,
and your little round head black with silky locks was first laid upon
my arm, your face stabbed me like a dagger, and your eyes are blue
steel that murder my peace. My daughter, my daughter, you are the
exact counterpart, the beautiful image of your father! It is because
I see in your eyes so wonderfully blue the reproduction of his, and
about your mouth and brows the graceful lines of his, that I shudder
while I look at you. Ah, my darling! is it not hard that your beauty
should sting like a serpent the mother whose blood filled your veins?
The very tones of your voice, the carriage of your head, even the
peculiar shape of your fingers and nails, are his--all his! Oh, my
baby! my white lamb! my precious little one, if I had not fed you
from my bosom--cradled you in my arms--realized that you were indeed
flesh of my flesh--my own unfortunate, unprotected disowned baby, I
believe I should hate you!"
She bowed her head in her hands, and groaned aloud.
"Forgive me, mother. If I had imagined the real cause, I would never
have inquired. Let it pass. Tell me nothing that will bring such a
storm of grief as this. God knows I wish I resembled you--only you."
She covered her mother's hands with kisses, and tears gathered in her
eyes.
"No; God knew best, and in His wisdom, His mercy for widowhood and
orphanage, He stamped your father's unmistakable likeness indelibly
upon you. Providentially a badge of honourable parentage was set upon
the deserted infant, which neither fraud, slander, nor perjury can
ever remove. The laws God set to work in nature defy the calumny, the
corruption, the vindictive persecution and foul injustice cloaked
under legal statutes, human decrees; and though a world swore to the
contrary, your face proclaims your father, and his own image will
hunt him through all his toils and triumphantly confront him with his
crime. No jury ever empanelled could see you side by side with your
father, and dare to doubt that you were his child! No, bitter as are
the memories your countenance recalls, I hold it the keenest weapon
in the armoury of my revenge."
"Let us talk of something that grieves and agitates you less. May I
sing you a song always associated with your portrait, an invocation
sacred to my lovely mother?"
"No, sometime you must know the history I have carefully hidden from
all but Mr. Palma and your dead guardian; and now that the bitter
waves are already roaring over me, why should I delay the narration?
It was not my purpose to tell you thus, I though it would too
completely unnerve me, and I wrote the story of my life in the form
of a drama, and called it _Infelice!_ But the recital is in Mr.
Chesley's hands for perusal; and I shall feel stronger, less
oppressed, when I have talked freely with you. Kiss me, my pure
darling, my own little nameless treasure, my fatherless baby; for
indeed I need the elixir of my daughter's love to keep me human when
I dwell upon the past."
She strained the girl to her heart, then put her away and rose.
Opening a strong metallic box concealed in a drawer of the
dressing-table, she took out several papers, some yellowed with age,
and blurred with tears, and while Regina still sat, with her arm
resting on the chair, Mrs. Orme locked the door, and began to walk
slowly up and down the room.
"One moment, mother. I want to know why my heart is drawn so steadily
and so powerfully toward Mr. Chesley, and why something in his face
reminds me tenderly of you? Are you quite willing to tell me why he
seems so deeply interested in me?"
"Regina, have you never guessed? Orme Chesley is my uncle, my
mother's only brother."
"Oh, how rejoiced I am! I hoped he was in some mysterious way related
to us, but I feared to lean too much upon the pleasant thought, lest
it proved a disappointment. My own uncle? What a blessing! Does Mr.
Palma know it?"
"Mr. Palma first suspected and traced the relationship, and it was
from him that Uncle Orme learned of my existence, for it appears he
believed me dead. Mr. Palma has long held all the tangled threads of
my miserable history in his skilful hands, and to his prudent,
patient care you and I shall owe our salvation. For years he has been
to me the truest, wisest, kindest friend a deserted and helpless
woman ever found."
Regina sank her head upon the chair, afraid that her radiant face
might betray the joy his praises kindled; and while she walked, Mrs.
Orme began her recital:
"My grandfather, Hubert Chesley, was from Alsace; my grandmother
originally belonged to the French family of Ormes. They had two
children, Orme the eldest, and Minetta, who while very young married
a travelling musician from Switzerland, named Léon Merle. A year
after she became his wife her father died, and the family resolved
to emigrate to America. On the voyage, which was upon a crowded
emigrant ship, I was born; and a few hours after my mother died.
They buried her at sea, and would to God I too had been thrown into
the waves, for then this tale of misery would never torture innocent
ears. But children who have only a heritage of woe, and ought to die,
fight for existence defying adversity, and thrive strangely; so I
lucklessly survived.
"My first recollections are of a pauper quarter in a large city,
where my father supported us scantily by teaching music. Subsequently
we removed to several villages, and finally settled in one where were
located a college for young gentlemen, and a seminary for girls. In
the latter my father was employed as musical professor, and here we
lived very comfortably until he died of congestion of the lungs.
Uncle Orme at that time was in feeble health, and unable to
contribute toward our maintenance, and soon after father's death he
went out to California to the mining region. I was about ten years
old when he left, and recollect him as a pale, thin, delicate man.
In those days it cost a good deal of money to reach the gold mines,
and this alone prevented him from taking us with him.
"We were very poor, but grandmother was foolishly, inconsistently
proud, and though compelled to sew for our daily bread, she dressed
me in a style incompatible with our poverty, and contrived to send me
to school. Finally her eyes failed, and with destitution staring
open-jawed upon us, she reluctantly consented to do the washing and
mending for three college boys. She was well educated, and
inordinately vain of her blood, and how this galling necessity
humiliated her! We of course could employ no servant, and once when
she was confined to her bed by inflammatory rheumatism, I was sent to
the college to carry the clothes washed and ironed that week. It was
the only time I was ever permitted to cross the campus, but it
sufficed to wreck my life. On that luckless day I first met Cuthbert
Laurance, then only nineteen, while I was not yet fifteen. Think of
it, my darling; three years younger than you are now, and you a mere
child still! While he paid me the money due, he looked at and talked
to me. Oh, my daughter! my daughter! as I see you at this instant,
with your violet eyes, watching me from under those slender, black
arches, it seems the very same regular, aristocratic, beautiful face
that met me that wretched afternoon, beneath the branching elms that
shaded the campus! So courteous, so winning, so chivalric, so
indescribably handsome did he present himself to my admiring eyes. I
was young, pretty, an innocent, ignorant, foolish child, and I
yielded to the fascination he exerted.
"Day by day the charm deepened, and he sought numerous opportunities
of seeing me again; gave me books, brought me flowers, became the
king of my waking thoughts, the god of my dreams. In a cottage near
us lived a widow, Mrs. Peterson; whose only child Peleg, a rough
overgrown lad, was a journeyman carpenter, and quite skilful in
carving wooden figures. We had grown up together, and he seemed
particularly fond of and kind to me, rendering me many little
services which a stalwart man can perform for a delicate petted young
creature such as I was then.
"As grandmother's infirmity increased, and her strict supervision
relaxed, I met Cuthbert more frequently, but as yet without her
knowledge; and gradually be won my childish heart completely. His
father, General René Laurance, was a haughty wealthy planter residing
in one of the Middle States, and Cuthbert was his only child, the
pride of his heart and home. Those happy days seem a misty dream to
me now, I have so utterly outgrown the faith that lent a glory to
that early time. Cuthbert assured me of his affection, swore undying
allegiance to me; and like many other silly, trusting, inexperienced,
doomed young fools, I believed every syllable that he whispered in my
ears.
"One Sabbath when grandmother supposed I was saying my prayers in the
church, which I had left home to attend, I stole away to our trysting
place in a neighbouring wood, that bordered a small stream. Oh, the
bitter fruits of that filial disobedience! The accursed harvest that
ripened for me, that it seems I shall never have done garnering!
Clandestine interviews concealed, because I knew prohibition would
follow discovery! I am a melancholy monument of the sin of deception;
and that child who deliberately snatches the reins of control from
the hands where God decrees them, and dares substitute her will and
judgment for those of parents or guardians, drives inevitably on to
ruin, and will live to curse her folly. That day Peleg was fishing,
and surprised us at the moment when Cuthbert was bending down to kiss
me. Having heard all that passed, he waited till evening, and finding
me in the little garden attached to our house, he savagely upbraided
me for preferring Cuthbert's society to his, claimed me as his, by
right of devotion; and when I spurned him indignantly, and forbade
him to speak to me in future, he became infuriated, rushed into the
cottage, and disclosed all that he had discovered."
"I knew it! I felt assured you must always have loathed him!"
exclaimed Regina, with kindling eyes; and catching her mother's dress
as she passed beside her.
"Why, my darling?"
"Because he was coarse, brutal! When he dared to call you 'Minnie,'
if I had been a man I would have strangled him!"
Her mother kissed her, and answered sadly:
"And yet he loved me infinitely better than the man for whom I
repulsed, nay insulted him. He was poor, unpolished, but at that time
he would have died to defend me from harm. It was reserved for his
courtly, high-bred, elegant rival to betray the trust he won! The
storm that followed Peleg's revelation was fierce, and availing
herself of his jealous surveillance, grandmother allowed me no more
stolen interviews. After a fortnight, Cuthbert came one day and
demanded permission to see me, alleging that we were betrothed, and
that he would give satisfactory explanations of his conduct.
Grandmother was obdurate, but unfortunately I ventured in, and,
seizing me in his arms, he swore that all the world should not
separate us. To her he explained that his father desired him to marry
an heiress who lived not far from the paternal mansion, and possessed
immense estates, upon which the covetous eyes of the Laurances' had
long been fixed; but until he completed his collegiate course matters
must be delayed. He protested that he could love no one but me, and
solemnly vowed that as soon as freed by his majority from parental
control he would make me his wife. I was sufficiently insane to
believe it all; but grandmother was wiser, and sternly interdicted
his visits.
"A month went by, during which Peleg persecuted me with professions
of love, and offers of marriage. How I detested him, and by contrast
how godlike appeared my refined, polished, proud young lover! At
length Cuthbert wrote to me, entrusting the letter to a college chum
Gerbert Audré, but Peleg's Argus scrutiny could not be baffled, and
again I was detected.
"Meantime grandmother's strength was evidently failing, and Uncle
Orme was far away in western wilds; who would save me from my own
rash folly if she should die, and leave me unprotected? This
apprehension preyed ceaselessly on her mind, she grew morose, moody,
tyrannical; and when finally Cuthbert came once more, forcing an
entrance into the little cottage, and asking upon what conditions he
might be permitted to visit me, she bluntly told him that she had
determined to take me at all hazards to a convent, and shut me up for
ever, unless within forty-eight hours he married me. The though of
separation made him almost frantic, and after some discussion, it was
arranged that we should be married very secretly in a distant town,
with only grandmother and his room-mate André as witnesses. Our union
would be concealed rigidly until Cuthbert had left college and
attained his majority, which was then nearly two years distant; at
which time he would enter upon the possession of a certain amount of
property left by his mother. An approaching recess of several days,
which would enable him to absent himself without exciting suspicion,
was selected as an auspicious occasion for the consummation we all so
ardently desired, and very quietly the preliminary steps were taken.
"By what stratagem or fraud a license was obtained, I never learned,
and was too ignorant and unsuspicious to question or understand the
forms essential to legality. One stormy night we were driven across
the country to a railway station, hurried aboard the train, and next
morning reached the town of V----. At the parsonage you know so well
we found Mr. Hargrove, who appeared very reluctant to accede to our
wishes. I was only fifteen, a simple-hearted child, and Cuthbert,
though well grown, was too youthful to assume the duties of the
position for which he presented himself as candidate. The faithful,
prudent pastor expostulated, and declared himself unwilling to bind a
pair of children by ties so solemn and indissoluble; but the license
was triumphantly exhibited as a release from ministerial
responsibility, and grandmother urged in extenuation that in the
event of her death I would be thrown helpless upon the world, and she
as my sole surviving protector and guardian desired to see me
entitled to a husband's care and shelter.
"At last, with an earnest protest, the conscientious man consented,
and standing before him that sunny morning, in the presence of God,
and of grandmother and Mr. Audré, Cuthbert Laurance and Minnie Merle
were solemnly married! Oh, my daughter! when I think of that day, and
its violated vows--when I remember what I was, and contrast the
Minnie Merle of my girlhood with the blasted, wretched ruin that I
am, my brain reels, my veins run fire!"
She clasped her palms across her forehead and moaned, as the deluge
of bitter recollections overflowed her.
Tears were stealing down Regina's cheeks, as she watched the anguish
she felt powerless to relieve, and she began to realize the depth of
woe that had blackened all her past.
"He promised to love, honour, cherish me, as long as life lasted, and
Mr. Hargrove pronounced me his wife, and blessed me. How dared we
expect a blessing! Cuthbert knew that he was defying, outraging his
father's wishes, and I had earned my title by deception and
disobedience. God help all those who build their hopes upon the
treacherous sands of human constancy. Mr. Hargrove laid his hand upon
my head, and said in a strangely warning tone, I might have known was
prophetic: 'Mrs. Laurance, you are the youngest wife I ever saw, you
are not fit to be out of the nursery; but I trust this union will not
fulfil my forebodings, that the result will sanction my most
reluctant performance of this hallowed ceremony.'
"How supremely happy I was! How unutterably proud of my handsome
tender husband! I do not know whether even then he truly loved me, or
if he merely intended me as a pretty toy to amuse him during the
tedium of college sessions; I only remember my delirious delight, my
boundless exultation. We returned home, and Cuthbert resumed his
college studies, but through the co-operation of his room-mate, he
spent much of his time in our cottage. Peleg became troublesome, and
invidious reports were set afloat. I am not aware whether grandmother
had always intended to publish the marriage as soon as consummated,
or whether her breach of faith sprang from some facts she
subsequently discovered; but certainly she distrusted Cuthbert's
sincerity of purpose, and taking Peleg into her confidence,
despatched him to inform General Laurance of all that had occurred.
From that hour Peleg Peterson became my most implacable and
dangerous foe.
"Dreaming of no danger, Cuthbert and I had spent but three weeks of
wedded happiness, when, without premonition, the sun of my joy was
suddenly blotted out. A letter arrived, speedily followed by a
telegram summoning him to the bedside of his father, who was
dangerously ill. Oh, fool that I was! I fancied heaven designed to
remove a cruel parent, and thus obliterate all obstacles to the
completion of my bliss. What blind dolts young people are! Cuthbert
was restless, suspicious, unwilling to leave me, or appeared so, and
when we parted, he took me in his arms, kissed away my tears,
implored heaven to watch over his bride, his treasure, his wife; and
swore that at the earliest possible moment he would hold 'darling
Minnie' to his heart once more. Turn away your face, Regina, for it
too vividly, too intolerably recalls his image as he stood bidding me
farewell; his glossy black hair clinging in rings around his white
brow, his magnetic blue eyes gazing tenderly into mine! Oh, the
wonderful charm of that beautiful treacherous face! Oh, husband of my
love I father of my innocent baby!"
She threw herself into a corner of the sofa, and the dry sob that
shook her frame told how keen was the torture. Regina followed,
kneeling in front of her, burying her face in her mother's dress.
"I saw him enter the carriage and drive away, and thirteen years
passed before I looked upon him again. Of course the reported illness
was a mere ruse to lull his apprehensions. His father received him
with a hurricane of reproaches, threats, maledictions. He taunted,
jeered him with having been hoodwinked, cajoled, outwitted by a
'wily old washwoman,' who had inveigled him into a disgraceful
misalliance in order to betray him, to fasten upon and devour his
wealth. One letter only I received from Cuthbert, denouncing
grandmother's treachery, and announcing his father's rage and threats
to disinherit and disown him if he did not repudiate the marriage,
which he stated was invalid on account of his son's minority. He
wrote that he would be compelled for the present to accede to his
father's wishes, since for nearly two years at least he was wholly
dependent on his bounty; but assured me that on the day when he could
claim his inheritance from his mother he would acknowledge his
marriage at all hazards, and proclaim me his wife. That letter, the
first and last I ever received from my husband, you can read at your
leisure. Three days after it was dated, he and his father sailed for
Europe, and he has never returned to America.
"Although it was a cruel blow to all my brilliant anticipations, I
did not even then dream of the fate designed for me. I loved on,
trusted on, hoped--oh, how sanguinely! My pride was piqued at General
Laurance's haughty, supercilious scorn of my birth and blood, and I
determined to fit myself for the proud niche I would one day fill as
Cuthbert's wife. My grandmother spoke French fluently, it was her
vernacular; and my father had left some valuable and choice books. To
these I turned with avidity, prosecuting my studies with renewed
zest. About three months after my husband left me, Uncle Orme sent
money to defray our expenses to California. Grandmother who foreboded
the future, told me I had been sacrificed, abandoned, repudiated, and
urged me to accompany her. In return, I indignantly refused, charging
her with having fired the temple of my happiness, by the brand of her
betrayal of the secret. Recriminations followed, we parted in anger
and she left me, to join Uncle Orme; but not before acquainting me
with the startling fact that Peleg Peterson had declared his
determination to annul the marriage by furnishing infamous testimony
against my character.
"After her departure a man who acted as agent for General Laurance
called to negotiate for a separation, advising me to make the best
terms in my power, as it was useless for me to attempt to cope with
General Laurance, who would mercilessly crush me if necessary, by the
publication of disgraceful slanders which my 'old lover Peleg
Peterson' had sworn to prove in open court. He offered me five
thousand dollars and my passage to San Francisco, on condition of my
renouncing all claim to the hand and name of Cuthbert Laurance. My
husband he assured me had reached his father's house in a state of
intoxication; and had since become convinced of my unworthiness, and
of the necessity of severing for ever all connection with me. Not for
an instant did I credit him. It seemed a vile machination, and I
scornfully rejected all overtures for separation, proclaiming my
resolution to assert and maintain my rights as a lawful wife. It was
open war, and how they derided my proud demand for recognition!
"Mr. Audré left college the week after Cuthbert was called so
unexpectedly away, and disappeared; and grandmother died suddenly
with rheumatism of the heart, when only a few miles distant from the
harbour of her destination. Peleg audaciously proposed that we should
ignore the empty worthless marriage ceremony, accept the Laurance
bribe, and go away to the far west, where we might begin life anew.
He told me my husband believed me unworthy, that he had convinced him
I would dishonour his noble name, and that my reputation was at his
own mercy. In my amazement and horror I defied him, dared him to do
his worst; and recklessly he accepted the rash challenge. Leaving no
clue (as I imagined), I secretly quitted the village, where gossip
was busy with my name, and went to New York. My scanty means rapidly
melted away, and I hired myself as a seamstress in a wealthy family.
Not even at this stage of affairs did I lose faith in my husband, and
bravely I confronted the knowledge that at no distant period I should
be forced to provide for a helpless infant.
"One day, in going down a steep flight of steps, with a heavy waiter
in my hands, I missed my footing, fell, and was picked up senseless
on the tiled floor at the foot of the stairs. A physician living near
was called in, and as I was only the seamstress, the information he
gave my employer induced her to send me immediately to the hospital
for pauper women. One of my ankles was fractured, and the day after
my admission to the hospital you were born prematurely. In a ward of
that hospital, surrounded by strange but kind sympathetic faces, you,
my darling, opened your blue eyes, unwelcomed by a father's love,
unnoticed by your wretched mother; for I was delirious for many days,
and you were three weeks old when first I knew you were my baby. Ah,
my daughter! why did not a merciful God order us both out of the
world then, before it persecuted and bruised us so cruelly? I have
wished a thousand times that you had died before I ever recognized
you as mine!"
"Oh, mother, mother, pity me! Do not reproach me with the life I owe
to you."
Regina's features writhed, and, pressing her face closer against her
mother's knee, she sobbed unrestrainedly:
"My darling, blessings often come so thoroughly disguised that we
brand them as curses, learning later that they garner all our earthly
hopes, sometimes our heavenly; and when I look at you now, my soul
yearns over you with a love too deep for utterance. I know that you
were born to avenge your wrongs and mine, to aid by your baby fingers
in lifting the load of injustice and libel that has so long borne me
down. You are the one solitary comfort in all the wide earth, and but
for you I should have given up the struggle long ago."
Softly she stroked the silky hair and tearful cheek, and leaning back
continued:
"While I was still an inmate of the hospital, where I was known as
Minnie Merle, Peleg Peterson found me, and proclaimed himself your
father. He was partly intoxicated at the time, and was forcibly
ejected; but the excitement of that dastardly horrible charge threw
me into a relapse, and I was dangerously ill. Lying beside me on my
cot, I watched your little face, through the slow hours of
convalescence, and your tiny hands seemed to strengthen me for the
labour that beckoned me back to life. For your dear sake I must brave
the future. To one of the noble-hearted gentle Sisters of Charity who
visited the hospital and ministered like an angel of mercy to you and
me, I told enough of my history to explain my presence there, and
through her influence when I was strong enough to work, I was placed
in a position where I was permitted to keep you with me for a year. I
knew that my only safety lay in hiding for a time from my enemy, and
destroying all trace of my departure from the hospital, I assumed the
name of Odille Orphia Orme, which had belonged to a sister of my
grandmother.
"I was not sixteen when you were born, and, having had my head shaved
during my illness, my hair grew out the bright gold you see it now,
instead of the dark brown it had hitherto been. A strange freak of
nature, but a providential aid to the disguise I wished to maintain.
I wrote to Cuthbert, informing him of your birth, praying his speedy
return, but no reply came; and again and again I repeated the
petition. At length I was answered by the return of all my letters,
without a line of comment. Then I began to suspect what was in store
for me, but it threatened to drive me wild; and I shut my eyes and
refused to think, set my teeth, and hoped, hoped still. The two years
had almost expired, and when Cuthbert was of age he would fly to his
wife and child, solacing them for all they had endured. I could not
afford to doubt; that way lay madness!
"When you were fourteen months old, I put you in an Orphan Asylum,
where I could see you often, and took a situation as upper maid and
seamstress in a fashionable family on Fifth Avenue. My duties were
light, my employers were considerate and kind, and the young ladies,
observing my desire to improve myself, gave me the privileges of the
library, which was well selected and extensive. They were very
cultivated, elegant people, and I listened to their conversation,
observed their deportment, and modelled my manners after the example
they furnished. I was so anxious to astonish Cuthbert by my grace and
intelligence, when he presented me to his father, and I exulted in
the thought that even he might one day be proud of his son's wife.
"How I struggled and toiled, sowing by day, reading, studying by
night. Finding Racine, Euripides, and Shakespeare in the library, I
perused them carefully, and accidentally I discovered my talent. The
ladies of the house on one occasion had private theatricals, and the
play was one with which I chanced to be familiar. At the last
rehearsal, on the night of the play, one of the young ladies was
suddenly seized with such violent giddiness, that she was unable to
appear in the character she personated, and in the dilemma I was
summoned. So successful was my performance that I saw the new path
opening before me, and began to fit myself for it. I gave every spare
moment to dramatic studies, and was progressing rapidly when all hope
was crushed.
"Cuthbert's birthday came; days, weeks, months rolled by, and I wrote
one more passionate prayer for recognition; pleading that at least
he would allow me to see him once again, that he would just once look
at the lovely face of his child; then if he disowned both wife and
child we would ask him no more. How I counted the weeks that crawled
away! how fondly I still hoped that now, being of age and free, he
would fulfil his promise!
"You were two years and a half old, and I went one Sunday to visit
you.
"How well I recollect your appearance on that fatal day! Your bare
pearly feet gleaming on the floor over which I guided your uncertain
steps, as you tottered along clinging to my finger, your dimpled neck
and arms displayed by the white muslin slip my hands had fashioned,
your jetty hair curling thick and close over your round head, your
small milk-white teeth sparkling through your open lips, as your
large soft violet eyes laughed up in my face!--so glad you were to
see me! You had never seemed so lovely before, and I knelt down and
hugged you, my darling. I kissed your dainty feet and hands, your
lips and eyes so like Cuthbert's, and I know as I caressed you my
heart swelled with the fond pride that only mothers can understand
and feel, and I whispered, 'Papa's baby! Papa's own darling!
Cuthbert's baby!'
"It was harder than usual to quit you that day; you clung to me,
nestled close to me, stole your little hand into my bosom, and
finally fell asleep. When I laid you softly down in your low
truckle-bed, the tears would come and hang on my lashes, and while
I lingered, passing my hand over your dear pretty feet, I determined
that if Cuthbert did not come, or write very soon, I would take you
and go in search of him. What man could shut his arms and heart
against such a lovely babe who owed him her being?
"It was late when I got home, and the lady with whom I lived sent for
me in great haste. Guests had unexpectedly come from a distance,
dinner must be served, and the butler had been called away
inopportunely to one of his children, who had been terribly scalded.
Could I oblige her by consenting to serve the visitors at table? She
was a good mistress to me, and of course I did not hesitate. One of
the guests was a nephew of the host, and recently returned from
Europe, as I learned from the conversation. When the desert was being
set upon the table, he said: 'No, I rather liked him; none are
perfect, and he has sowed his wild oats, and settled down. Marriage
is a strong social anchor, and his bride is a very heavy-looking
woman, though enormously rich, I hear. It is said that his father
manoeuvred the match, for Cuthbert liked being fancy free.'
"The name startled me, and the master of the house asked, 'Of whom
are you speaking?' 'Cuthbert Laurance and his recent marriage with
Abbie Ames the banker's daughter. My mistress pulled my dress and
directed me to bring a bottle of champagne from the side table. I
stood like a stone, and she repeated the command. As I lifted the
wine and started back, the stranger added: 'Here is an account of the
wedding; quite a brilliant affair, and as I witnessed the nuptials I
can testify the description is not exaggerated. They were married in
Paris, and General Laurance presented the bride with a beautiful set
of diamonds.' The bottle fell with a crash, and in the confusion I
tottered toward the butler's pantry and sank down insensible.
"Oh, the awful, intolerable agony that has been my portion ever
since! Do you wonder that Laurance is a synonym for all that is
cruel, wicked? Is it strange that at times I loath the sight of your
face, which mocks me with the assurance that you are his as well as
mine? Oh, most unfortunate child! cursed with the fatal beauty of him
who wrecked your mother's life, and denies you even his infamous
name!"
She sprang up, broke away from her daughter's arms, and resumed her
walk.
"After that day I was a different woman, hard, bitter, relentless,
desperate. In the room of hope reigned hate, and I dedicated the
future to revenge. I had heard Mr. Palma's name mentioned as the most
promising lawyer at the bar, and though he was a young man then, he
inspired all who knew him with confidence and respect. Withholding
only my husband's name, I gave him my history, and sought legal
advice. A suit would result in the foul and fatal aspersion, which
Peleg was waiting to pour like an inky stream upon my character, and
we ascertained that he was in the pay of the Laurances, and would
testify according to their wishes and purposes. There was no proof of
my marriage, unless Mr. Hargrove had preserved the license, the
record of which had been destroyed by the burning of the court-house.
Where were the witnesses? Grandmother was dead, and it was rumoured
Mr. Audré had perished in a fishing excursion off the Labrador coast.
"Mr. Palma advised me to wait, to patiently watch for an opportunity,
pledging himself to do all that legal skill could effect; and nobly
he has redeemed his promise to the desolate, friendless,
broken-hearted woman who appealed to him for aid.
"I succeeded after several repulses, in securing a very humble
position in one of the small theatres, where I officiated first with
scissors and needle, in fitting costumes and in various other menial
employments; studying ceaselessly all the while to prepare myself for
the stage. The manager became interested, encouraged me, tested me at
rehearsals, and at last after an arduous struggle, I made my _début_
at the benefit of one of the stock actors. My name was adroitly
whispered about, one or two mysterious paragraphs were published at
the expense of the actor, and so--curiosity gave me an audience and
an opportunity.
"That night seemed the crisis of my destiny; if I failed, what would
become of my baby? Already, my love, you were my supreme thought. But
I did not, my face was a great success; my acting was pronounced
wonderful by the dramatic critic to whom the beneficiary sent a
complimentary ticket, and after that evening I had no difficulty in
securing an engagement that proved very successful.
"A year after I learned that Cuthbert had married a second time, I
went to V---- to see Mr. Hargrove, and obtain possession of my
license. The good man only gave me a copy, to which he added his
certificate of the solemnization of my marriage; but he sympathized
very deeply with my unhappy condition, and promised in any emergency
to befriend you, my darling. A few hours after I left the parsonage
it was entered and robbed, and the license he refused me was stolen.
Long afterward I learned he suspected me."
Here Regina narrated her discovery of the mysterious facts connected
with the loss of the paper, and her first knowledge of Peleg
Peterson. As she explained the occurrences that succeeded the storm,
Mrs. Orme almost scowled, and resumed:
"He has been the _bête noire_ of my ill-starred life, but even his
malice has been satiated at last. Anxious to shield you from the
possibility of danger, and from all contaminating influences and
association, I carried you to a distant convent; the same with which
grandmother had threatened me, and placed you under the sacred shadow
of the Nuns' protection. Then, assured of your safety and that your
education would not be neglected, I devoted myself completely to my
profession. From city to city I wandered in quest of fame and money,
both so essential to the accomplishment of my scheme; a scheme that
goaded me sleeping and waking, leaving no moment of repose.
"One night in Chicago, having overtaxed my strength, I fainted on the
street, _en route_ from the theatre, and while my servant fled for
assistance, I was found by Mr. and Mrs. Waul, and taken to their
home. Their kind hearts warmed toward me, and no parents could have
been more tenderly watchful than they have proved ever since. They
supplied a need of protection, of which I was growing painfully
conscious, and I engaged them to travel with me.
"Once I took three days out of my busy life, and visited the old
family homestead of General Laurance. The owner was in Europe, the
house closed; but, standing unnoticed under the venerable oaks that
formed the avenue of approach to the ancestral halls of my husband, I
looked at the stately pile and the broad fields that surrounded it,
and called upon Heaven to spare me long enough to see my child the
regnant heiress of all that proud domain. There I vowed that cost
what it might, I would accomplish my revenge, would place you there
as owner of that noble inheritance.
"Through Mr. Palma's inquiries concerning the records, I ascertained
that this property had been settled upon Cuthbert on the week of his
second marriage. You were ten years old when I determined to go to
Europe and consummate my plan. Peleg had disappeared, and I knew that
the other agent of the Laurances had lost all trace of me. You were
so grieved because I left for Europe without bidding you good-bye!
Ah, my sweet child! You never knew that it was the hardest trial of
my life to put the ocean between us, and that I was too cowardly to
witness your distress at the separation that was so uncertain in
duration.
"Could I have gone without the sight of my precious baby? I reached
the convent about dusk, and informed the sisters that I deemed it
best to transfer you to the guardianship of two gentlemen, one of
whom would come and take you away the ensuing week. Through a crevice
of the dormitory door I watched you undress, envied the gentle nun
who gathered up your long hair and tied over it the little white
ruffled muslin cap; and when you knelt by your small curtained bed,
and repeated your evening prayers, adding a special petition that
'_Heavenly Father would bless dear mother, and keep her safe_,' I
stifled my sobs in my handkerchief. When you were asleep I crept in
on tiptoe, and while Sister Angela held the lamp, I drew aside the
curtain and looked at you. How the sweet face of my baby stirred all
the tenderness that was left in my embittered nature! As you
slumbered, you threw your feet outside the cover, and murmured in
your musical childish babble something indistinct about 'mother, and
our Blessed Lady.'
"My heart yearned over you, but I could not bear the thought of
hearing your peculiarly plaintive wailing cry, which always pierced
my soul so painfully, and I softly kissed your feet and hurried away.
Come, put your arms around my neck, and kiss me, my lovely
fatherless child!"
For some seconds Mrs. Orme held her in a warm embrace. "There sit
down. Little remains to be told, but how bitter! Here in Paris, while
playing 'Amy Robsart,' I saw once more, after the lapse of thirteen
years, the man who had so contemptuously repudiated me. Regina, if
ever you are so unfortunate, so deluded, as to deeply and sincerely
love any man, and live to know that you are forgotten, that another
woman wears the name and receives the caresses that once made heaven
in your heart, then, and only then, can you realize what I suffered,
while looking at Cuthbert, with that other creature at his side,
acknowledged his wife! I thought I had petrified, had ceased to feel
aught but loathing and hate, but ah! the agony of that intolerable,
that maddening sight! Ask God for a shroud and coffin, rather than
endure what I suffered that night!"
She was too much engrossed by her mournful retrospective task, to
observe the deadly pallor that overspread Regina's face, as the girl
rested her head on the arm of the sofa and passed her fingers across
her eyes, striving to veil the image of one beyond the broad
Atlantic's sweep and roar.
"At last I began to taste the sweet poison of my revenge. Cuthbert
did not suspect my identity, but he was strangely fascinated by my
face and acting. Openly indifferent to the woman with whom his father
had linked him, and provided with no conscientious scruples, he
audaciously expressed his admiration, and contrived an interview to
commence his advances. He avowed sentiments disloyal to the heiress
who wore his name and jewels, and insulting to me had I been what he
supposed me, merely Odille Orme a pretty actress. I repulsed and
derided him, forbidding him my presence; and none can appreciate the
exquisite delight it afforded me to humiliate and torture him. When
it was a crime in the sight of man, he really began to love the
woman, who--in God's sight--was his own lawful wife; and his
punishment was slowly approaching.
"My health gave way under the unnatural pressure of acting evening
after evening, with his handsome magnetic face watching every
feature, every inflection of my voice. I was ordered to rest in
Italy, and when I learned I should there meet General Laurance, I
consented to go. Before leaving Paris, I saw the only child of that
hideous iniquitous sham marriage; and, darling, when I contrasted
you, my own pure pearl, with the deformed, dwarfish, repulsive
daughter, whom the Nemesis of my wrongs gave to Cuthbert, in little
Maud Laurance, I almost shouted aloud in my great exultation. You so
beautiful, with his own lineaments in every feature, disowned for
that misshapen, imbecile heiress of his proud name. Oh, mills of the
Gods! how delicious the slow music of their grinding!
"Thus far, my daughter, I have shown you all your mother's wretched
past, and now I shrink from the last blotted pages. Hitherto my
record was blameless, but even now take care how you judge the
mother, who if she has gone astray did it for you, all for you. For
some time I had known that Cuthbert was living in reckless
extravagance, that the affairs of the father-in-law were dangerously
involved, and that without his own father's knowledge Cuthbert had
borrowed large sums in London and Paris, securing the loans by
mortgages on his real estate in America; especially the elegant
homestead, preserved for several generations in his family. Employing
two shrewd Hebrew brokers, I by degrees bought up those mortgages,
straining every effort to effect the purchase.
"When I reached Milan, I sat one night pondering what was most
expedient. It was apparent that in a suit for and publication of my
real title and rights, I should be defeated by the disgrace hurled
upon me; and to subject the Laurances to the humiliation of a court
scandal would poorly indemnify me for the horrible stain which
Peterson's foul claim would entail upon your innocent but premature
birth. My health was feeble, consumption threatened my lungs, and Mr.
Palma urged me to attempt no legal redress for my injuries. I could
not die without one more struggle to see you lighted, clothed with
your lawful name.
"My daughter, my darling, let all my love for you plead vehemently in
my defence, when I tell you that for your dear sake I made a
desperate, an awful, a sickening resolve. General Laurance was
infatuated by my beauty, which has been as fatal to his house as his
name to me. Like many handsome old men, he was inordinately vain, and
imagined himself irresistible; and when he persecuted me with
attentions that might have compromised a woman less prudent and
prudish than I bore myself, I determined to force him to an offer of
his hand, to marry him."
With a sharp cry Regina sprang up.
"Mother, not him! Not my father's father!"
"Yes, René Laurance, my husband's father."
With a gesture of horror the girl groaned and covered her white
convulsed face.
"Mother! Could my mother commit such a loathsome, awful crime against
God, and nature?"
"It was for your sake, my darling!" cried Mrs. Orme, wringing her
hands, as she saw the shudder with which her child repulsed her.
"For my sake that you stained you dear pure hands! For my sake that
you steeped your soul in guilt that even brutal savages abhor, and
loaded your name and memory with infamy! In his desertion my father
sinned against me, and freely because he is my father I could
forgive him; but you, the immaculate mother of my lifelong worship,
you who have reigned white-souled and angelic over all my hopes, my
aspirations, my love and reverence, oh, mother! mother, you have
doubly wronged me! The disgrace of your unnatural and heinous crime I
can never, never pardon!"
With averted head she stood apart, a pitiable picture of misery,
that could find no adequate expression.
"My baby, my love, my precious daughter!"
Ah the pleading pathos of that marvellous voice which had swayed at
will the emotions of vast audiences, as soft fitful zephyrs stir and
bow the tender grasses in quiet meadows! Slowly the girl turned
around, and reluctantly looked at the beloved beautiful face, tearful
yet smiling, beaming with such passionate tenderness upon her.
Mrs. Orme opened her arms, and Regina sprang forward, sinking on her
knees at her mother's feet, clinging to her dress.
"You could not smile upon me so, with that sin soiling your soul! Oh,
mother, say you did it not!"
"God had mercy, and saved me from it."
"Let us praise and serve Him for ever, in thanksgiving," sobbed the
daughter.
"I see now that my punishment would have been unendurable, for I
should have lost the one true, pure heart that clings to me. How do
mothers face their retribution, I wonder, when they disgrace their
innocent little ones, and see shame and horror and aversion in the
soft faces that slept upon their bosoms, and once looked in adoration
at the heaven of their eyes? Even in this life the pangs of the lost
must seize all such.
"I did not marry General Laurance, though I entertained the purpose
of a merely nominal union, and he acceded to my conditions, signing
a marriage contract to adopt you, give you his name, settled upon you
all his remaining fortune, except the real estate which I knew he had
transferred to his son. I think my intense hate and thirst for
vengeance temporarily maddened me; for certainly had I been quite
sane I should never have forced myself to hang upon the verge of such
an odious gulf. I was tempted by the prospect of making you the real
heiress of the Laurance name and wealth, and of beggaring Cuthbert,
his so-called wife and crippled child, by displaying the mortgage I
held; and which will yet sweep them to penury, for the banker has
failed, and Abbie Ames is penniless as Minnie Merle once was.
"While I floated down the dark stream to ruin, a blessed interposing
hand arrested me. Mr. Palma wrote that at last a glorious day of hope
dawned on my weary, starless night. Gerbert Audré was alive and
anxious to testify to the validity of my marriage, and the perfect
sanity and sobriety of Cuthbert when it was solemnized (his father
was prepared to plead that he was insane from intoxication when he
was inveigled into the ceremony); and oh, better, best of all, my
persecutor had relented! Peleg swore that his assertions regarding my
character were untrue, were prompted by malice, stimulated by
Laurance gold. Having been arrested by Mr. Palma and carried before a
magistrate, he had written and signed a noble vindication of me. To
you he avows I owe his tardy recantation and complete justification
of my past; and you will find among those papers his letter to me
upon this subject.
"My daughter, what do we not owe to Erle Palma? God bless
him--now--and for ever! And may the dearest, fondest wishes of his
heart be fulfilled as completely as have been his promises to me."
Regina's face was shrouded by her mother's dress, but thinking of
Mrs. Carew, she sank lower at Mrs. Orme's feet, knowing that her sad
heart could not echo that prayer.
"As yet my identity has not been suspected, but the end is at hand,
and I am about to break the vials of wrath upon their heads. Mr.
Palma only waits to hear from me to bring suit against Cuthbert for
desertion and bigamy, and against René Laurance, the arch-demon of my
luckless carried life, for wilful slander, premeditated defamation of
character. My lawful unstained wife-hood will be established, your
spotless birth and lineage triumphantly proclaimed; and I shall see
my own darling, my Regina Laurance, reigning as mistress in the halls
of her ancestors. To confront you with your father and grandfather, I
have called you to Paris, and when I have talked with Uncle Orme,
whose step I hear, I shall be able to tell you definitely of the hour
when the thunderbolt will be hurled into the camp of our enemies.
Kiss me good-night. God bless my child."