Since the memorable day of Regina's visit to Central Park many weeks
had elapsed, and one wild stormy evening in March she sat at the
library table writing her translation of a portion of "Egmont."
The storm--now of sleet, now of snow--darkened the air, and the
globes of the chandelier representing Pompeian lamps were lighted
above the oval table, shedding a bright yet mellow glow over the warm
quiet room.
Upon a bronze console stood a terra-cotta jar containing a white
azalea in full bloom, and the fragrance of the flowers breathed like
a benediction on the atmosphere; while in the tall glass beneath Mrs.
Orme's portrait two half-blown snowy camellias nestled amid a fringe
of geranium leaves.
Close to the fire, with her feet upon a Persian patterned cushion,
Olga reclined in the luxurious easy chair that belonged to Mr.
Palma's writing desk, and open on her lap lay a volume entitled "The
Service of the Poor." The former brilliancy of her complexion seemed
to have forsaken her for ever, banished by a settled sallowness; and
she looked thin, feeble, dejected, passing her fingers abstractedly
through the short curling ruddy hair that clustered around her
forehead and upon her neck.
As if weary of the thoughts suggested by her book, she turned and
looked at the figure writing under the chandelier, and by degrees she
realized the change in the countenance, which three months before had
been pure, serene, and bright as a moonbeam.
The keen and prolonged anguish which Regina had endured left its
shadow, faint, vague, but unmistakable; and in the eyes lay gloom,
and around the mouth patient yet melancholy lines, which hinted of a
bitter struggle in which the calm-hearted girl died, and the wiser,
sadder woman was born.
Her grief had been silent but deep for the loss of the dear friend
who symbolized for her all that was noble, heroic, and godly in human
nature; and her suffering was not assuaged by letters from Mrs.
Lindsay, furnishing the sorrowful details of the last illness of the
minister, and the dying words of tender devotion to the young girl
whom he believed his betrothed bride.
Over these harrowing letters she had wept long and bitterly, accusing
herself continually of her unworthiness in allowing another image to
usurp the throne where the missionary should have reigned supreme;
and the only consolation afforded was in the reflection that Douglass
had died believing her faithful, happy in the perfect trust reposed
in her. He had been buried on a sunny slope of the cemetery not far
from the blue waves of the Pacific, and his mother remained in San
Francisco with her sister, in whose house Mr. Lindsay had quietly
breathed his life away, dying as he had lived, full of hope in Christ
and trust in God.
Mrs. Palma and Olga only knew that Regina had lost a dear friend whom
she had not seen for years, and none but her guardian understood the
nature of the sacred tie that bound them.
Day and night she was haunted by memories of the kind face never more
to be seen this side of the City of Peace, and when at length she
received a photograph taken after death, in which, wan and emaciated,
he seemed sleeping soundly, she felt that her life could never again
be quite the same, and that the grey shadowy wings of Regret drooped
low over her future pathway.
Accompanying the photograph was a brief yet loving note written by
Mr. Lindsay the evening before his death; and to it were appended the
lines from "Jacqueline":
"Nor shall I leave thee wholly. I shall be--
An evening thought,--a morning dream to thee,--
A silence in thy life, when through the night,
The bell strikes, or the sun with sinking light,
Smites all the empty windows. As there sprout
Daisies, and dimpling tufts of violets, out
Among the grass where some corpse lies asleep,
So round thy life, where I lie buried deep,
A thousand little tender thoughts shall spring,
A thousand gentle memories wind and cling."
As if the opal were a talisman against the revival of reflections
that seemed an insult to the dead, Regina wore the ring constantly;
and whenever a thrill warned her of the old madness, her right hand
caressed the jewels, seeking from their touch a renewal of strength.
Studiously she manoeuvred to avoid even casual meetings with her
guardian, and except at the table, and in the presence of the family,
she had not seen him for several weeks. Business engagements occupied
him very closely; he was called away to Albany, to Boston, and once
to Philadelphia, but no farewells were exchanged with his ward, and
as if conscious of her sedulous efforts to avoid him, he appeared
almost to ignore her presence.
During these sad days the girl made no attempt to analyze the
estrangement which she felt was hourly increasing between them. She
presumed he disapproved of her resolution to accept Mr. Lindsay,
because he was poor, and offered no brilliant worldly advantages,
such as her guardian had been trained to regard as paramount
inducements in the grave matter of marriage; and secluding herself
as much as possible she fought her battle with grief and remorse as
best she might, unaided by sympathy. If she could only escape from
that house, with her secret undiscovered, she thought that in time
she would crush her folly and reinstate herself in her own respect.
After several interviews with Mr. Palma, the details of which Olga
communicated to no one, she had consented to hold her scheme of the
"Sisterhood" in abeyance for twelve months, and to accompany her
mother to Europe, whither she had formerly been eager to travel; and
Mrs. Palma, in accordance with instructions from her stepson, had
perfected her preparations, so as to be able to leave New York at a
day's notice.
Mrs. Carew had returned to the city, and now and then Mr. Palma
mentioned her name, and delivered messages from her to his
stepmother; but Olga abstained from her old badinage, and Regina
imagined that her forbearance sprang from a knowledge of the
engagement which she supposed must exist between them. She could not
hear her name without a shiver of pain, and longed to get away before
the affair assumed a sufficiently decided form to compel her to
notice and discuss it. To-day, after watching her for some time, Olga
said:
"You are weary, and pale almost to ghastliness. Put away your books,
and come talk to me."
Regina sighed, laid down her pen, and came to the fireplace.
"I thought you promised to go very early to Mrs. St. Clare's and
assist Valeria in arranging her bridal veil?"
"So I did, and it will soon be time for me to dress. How I dislike to
go back into the gay world, where I have frisked so recklessly and so
long. Do you know I long for the hour when I shall end this
masquerade, and exchange silks and lace and jewellery for coarse blue
gown, blue apron, and white cap?"
"Do you imagine the colour of your garments will change the
complexion of your heart and mind? You remind me of Alexander's
comment upon Antipater: 'Outwardly Antipater wears only white
clothes, but within he is all purple.'"
"Ah! but my purple pride has been utterly dethroned, and it seems to
me now that when I find rest in cloistered duties the quiet sacred
seclusion will prove in some degree like the well _Zem-Zem_, in which
Gabriel washed Mohammed's heart, filled it with faith, and restored
it to his bosom. Until I am housed safely from the roar and gibes and
mockery of the world, I shall not grow better; for here
'God sends me back my prayers, as a father
Returns unoped the letters of a son
Who has dishonoured him.'
"To conquer the world is nobler than to shun it, and to a nature such
as yours, Olga, other lines in that poem ought to appeal with
peculiar force:
'If thy rich heart is like a palace shattered,
Stand up amid the ruins of thy heart,
And with a calm brow front the solemn stars--
A brave soul is a thing which all things serve.'"
The scheme which you are revolving now is one utterly antagonistic to
the wishes of your mother, and God would not bless a step which
involved the sacrifice of your duty to her."
"After a time mamma will approve; till then I shall be patient. She
has consented for me to go to the Mother House at Kaiserswerth, and
to some of the Deaconess establishments in Paris and Dresden, in
order that I may become thoroughly acquainted with the esoteric
working of the system. I am anxious also to visit the institution for
training nurses at Liverpool, and unless we sail directly for Havre,
we shall soon have an opportunity of gratifying my wishes."
Regina took the book from her hand, turned over the leaves, and read:
"'All probationers must be unbetrothed, and their heart still
free.'... 'A short life history of the previous inward and outward
experiences of the future Deaconess pupil. It must be composed and
written by herself.' Olga, what would you do with your past?"
"I have buried it, dear. All the love of which I was capable I poured
out, nay, I crushed the heart that held it; as the Syrian woman broke
the precious box of costly ointment, anointing the feet of her God!
When my clay idol fell I could not gather back the wasted trust and
affection, and so, all--all is sepulchred in one deep grave. I have
spent my wealth of spicery; the days of my anointing are for ever
ended. To true deep-hearted women it is given to love once only, and
all such scorn to set a second, lesser, lower idol, where formerly
they bowed in worship. Even false gods hold sway long after their
images are defiled, their temples overthrown, and as the Dodonian
Groves still whisper of the old oracular days, to modern travellers,
so a woman's idolatry leaves her no shrine, no libation, no reverence
for new divinities; mutilated though she acknowledges her Hermæ, no
fresh image can profane their pedestal. Memory is the high priestess
who survives the wreck of altars and of gods, and faithfully
ministers amid the gloom of the soul's catacombs. I owe much to
mamma, and something to Erle Palma, who is a nobler man than I have
deemed him, less a bronze Macchiavelli, with a heart of quartz; and
I shall never again as heretofore rashly defy their advice and
wishes. But I know myself too well to hope for happiness in the gay
frivolous insincere world, where I have fluttered out my butterfly
existence of fashionable emptiness.
'I kissed the painted bloom off Pleasure's lips
And found them pale as Pain's.'
I have bruised and singed my Psyche wings, and _le beau monde_ has no
new, strong pinions to replace those beat out in its hard tyrannous
service. You think me cynical and misanthropic, but, dear, I believe
I am only clear-eyed at last. If I had married him for whom I dared
so much, and found too late that all the golden qualities I fondly
dreamed that he possessed were only baser metal, gaudy tinsel that
tarnished in my grasp, I am afraid it would have maddened me beyond
hope of reclamation. I have made shipwreck; but a yet sadder fate
might have overtaken me, and at least my soul has outridden the
storm, thanks to your frail babyish hands, so desperately strong when
they grappled that awful night with suicidal sin. Few women have
suffered more keenly than I, and yet, in Murial's sweet patient
words,--
'God has been good to me; you must not think
That I despair. _There is a quiet time
Like evening in my soul. I have no heart_.'"
There was more peace in Olga's countenance as she clasped one of
Regina's hands in hers than her companion had yet seen, and after a
moment, she continued:
"You know, dear, that we are only waiting for Congress to adjourn, in
order to have Mr. Chesley's escort across the ocean, and he will
arrive to-morrow. Erle Palma is exceedingly anxious that you should
accompany us, and I trust your mother will sanction this arrangement,
for I should grieve to leave you here. Perhaps you are not aware that
your guardian has recently sold this house, and intends purchasing
one on Murray Hill."
"Mr. Palma cannot possibly desire my departure half so earnestly as I
do, and if I am not summoned to join my mother, I shall insist upon
returning to the convent whence he took me seven years ago. There I
can continue my studies, and there I prefer to remain until I can be
restored to my mother. Olga, how soon will Mr. Palma be married?"
"I do not know. He communicates his plans to no one; but I may safely
say, if he consulted merely his own wishes, it would not be long
delayed. Until quite recently, I did not believe it possible that
that man's cold, proud, ambitious, stony heart would bow before any
woman, but human nature is a riddle which baffles us all--sometimes.
I must dress for the wedding, and mamma will scold me if I am late.
Kiss me, dear child. Ah, velvet violet eyes! if I find a
resting-place in heaven, I shall always want even there to hover near
you."
She kissed the girl's colourless cheek, and left her; and when the
carriage bore Olga and her mother to Mrs. St. Clare's, Regina
retreated to her own room, dreading lest her guardian should return
and find her in the library.
At breakfast he had mentioned that he would dine at his club, in
honour of some eminent judge from a distant State, to whom the
members of the "Century" had tendered a dinner, but she endeavoured
to avoid even the possibility of meeting him alone. Had she been less
merciless in her self-denunciation, his avowed impatience to send her
to her mother might have piqued her pride; but it only increased her
scorn of her own fatal folly, and intensified her desire to leave his
presence. Was it to gratify Mrs. Carew's extravagant taste that he
had sold this elegant house, and designed the purchase of one yet
more costly?
In the midst of her heart-ache she derived some satisfaction from the
reflection, that at least Mr. Palma's wife would never profane the
beautiful library, where his ward had spent so many happy days, and
which was indissolubly linked with sacred memories of its master.
Unwilling to indulge a reverie so fraught with pain and humiliation,
she returned to her "Egmont," resuming her translation of a speech by
"Clärchen." Ere long Hattie knocked at the door:
"Mr. Palma says, please to come down to the library; he wishes to
speak to you."
"Ask him if he will not be so kind as to wait till morning? Say I
shall feel very much obliged if he will excuse me tonight."
In a few minutes she returned:
"He is sorry he must trouble you to come down this evening, as he
leaves home to-morrow."
"Very well."
She went to the drawer that contained all her souvenirs of Mr.
Lindsay, and lingered some minutes, looking sorrowfully at the
photograph; then passed her lips to the melancholy image, and as if
strengthened by communion with the dead face, went down to the
library.
Mr. Palma was walking slowly up and down the long room, and had
paused in front of the snowy azalea. As she approached he put out his
hand and took hers, for the first time since they had sat together in
the Park.
"How deliciously this perfumes the room, and it must be yours, for no
other member of the household cares for flowers, and I see a cluster
of the same blossoms in your hair."
"I had forgotten that Olga fastened them there this afternoon. I
bought it from the greenhouse in ---- Street, where I often get
bouquets to place under mother's picture. Azaleas were Mr. Lindsay's
favourite flowers, and that fact tempted me to make the purchase. We
had just such a one as this at the parsonage, and on his birthday we
covered the pot with white cambric, fringed the edge with violets,
and set it in the centre of the breakfast-table; and the bees came in
and swung over it."
She had withdrawn her hand, and folding her fingers, leaned her face
on them, a position which she often assumed when troubled. Her left
hand was uppermost, and the opal and diamonds seemed pressed against
her lips, though she was unconscious of their close proximity. Mr.
Palma broke off a cluster of three half-expanded flowers, twisted the
stem into the buttonhole of his coat, and answered coldly:
"Flowers are always associated in my mind with early recollections of
my mother, who had her own greenhouse and conservatories. They appear
to link you with the home of your former guardian, and the days that
were happier than those you speed here."
"That dear parsonage was my happiest home, and I shall always cherish
its precious memories."
"Happier than a residence under my roof has been? Be so good as to
look at me; it is the merest courtesy to do so, when one is being
spoken to."
"Pardon me, sir, I was not instituting a comparison; and while I am
grateful for the kindness and considerate hospitality shown me by all
in this pleasant house, it has never seemed to me quite the home that
I found the dear old parsonage."
"Because you prefer country to city life? Love to fondle white
rabbits, and pigeons, and stand ankle deep in clover blooms?"
"I daresay that is one reason; for my tastes are certainly very
childish still."
"Then of course you regret the necessity which brought you to reside
here?"
He bent an unusually keen look upon her, but she quietly met his
eyes, and answered without hesitation:
"You must forgive me, sir, if your questions compel me to sacrifice
courtesy to candour. I do regret that I ever came to live in this
city; and I believe it would have been better for me, if I had
remained at V---- with Mr. Hargrove and the Lindsays."
"You mean that you would have been happier with them than with me?"
As she thought of the keen suffering her love for him had entailed
upon her, of the dreary days and sleepless nights she had recently
passed in that elegant luxurious home, her eyes deepened in tint,
saddened in expression, and she said:
"You have been very kind and generous to me, and I gratefully
appreciate all you have done; but if you insist on an answer, I must
confess I was happier two years ago than I am now."
"Thank you. The truth, no matter how unflattering, is always far more
agreeable to me than equivocation, or disingenuous-ness. Does my ward
believe that it will conduce to her future happiness to leave my
roof, and find a residence elsewhere?"
"I know I should be happier with my mother."
"Then I congratulate myself as the bearer of delightful tidings
Regina, it gives me pleasure to relieve you from your present
disagreeable surroundings, by informing you of the telegram received
to-day by cable from your mother. It was dated two days ago at
Naples, and is as follows: 'Send Regina to me by the first steamer to
Havre. I will meet her in Paris.'"
Involuntarily the girl exclaimed:
"Thank God!"
The joyful expression of her countenance rendered it impossible to
doubt the genuineness of her satisfaction at the intelligence; and
though Mr. Palma kept close guard over his own features lest they
should betray his emotion, an increasing paleness attested the depth
of his feelings.
"How soon can I go?"
"In two days a steamer sails for Havre, and I have already engaged a
passage for you. Doubtless you are aware that Mrs. Palma and Olga
hold themselves in readiness to start at any hour, and your friend
and admirer Mr. Chesley will go over in the same steamer;
consequently with so chivalrous an escort you cannot fail to have a
pleasant voyage. Since you are so anxious to escape from my
guardianship, I may be pardoned for emulating your frankness, and
acknowledging that I am heartily glad you will soon cease to be my
ward. Mr. Chesley is ambitious of succeeding to my authority, and I
have relinquished my claim as guardian, and referred him to your
mother, to whose hands I joyfully resign you. A residence in Europe
will, I hope, soon obliterate the unpleasant associations connected
with my house."
"A lifetime would never obliterate the memory of all your kindness to
me, or of some hours I have passed in this beautiful library. For all
you have done I now desire, Mr. Palma, to thank you most sincerely."
She looked up at the grave, composed face so handsome in its regular,
high-bred outlines, and her mouth trembled, while her deep eyes grew
misty.
"I desire no thanks for the faithful discharge of my duty as a
guardian: my conscience acquits me fully, and that is the reward I
value most. If you really indulge any grateful sentiments on the eve
of your departure, oblige me by singing something. I bought that
organ, hoping that now and then when my business permitted me to
spend a quiet evening at home, I might enjoy your music; but you
sedulously avoid touching it when I am present. This is the last
opportunity you will have, for I must meet Mr. Chesley at noon
to-morrow in Baltimore, and thence I go on to Cincinnati, where I
shall be detained, until the steamer has sailed. After to-night I
shall not see my ward again."
They were standing near the azalea, and Regina suddenly put her hand
on the back of a chair. To see him no more after this evening--to
know that the broad ocean rolled between--that she might never again
look upon the face that was so inexpressibly dear;--all this swept
over her like a bitter murderous wave, drowning the sweetness of her
life, and she clung to the chair.
She was not prepared for this sudden separation, but though his eyes
were riveted upon her she bore it bravely. A faint numb sensation
stole over her, and a dark shadow seemed to float through the room,
yet her low voice was steady, when she said:
"I am sorry I disappointed any pleasant anticipations you indulged
with reference to the organ, which has certainly been a source of
much comfort to me. I have felt very timid about singing before you,
sir; but if it will afford you the least pleasure, I am willing to
do the best of which I am capable."
"You sang quite successfully before a large audience at Mrs.
Brompton's, and displayed sufficient self-possession."
"But those were strangers, and the opinion of those with whom we live
is more important, their criticism is more embarrassing."
"I believe I was present, and heard you on that occasion."
She moved away to the organ, and sat down, glad of an excuse, for her
limbs trembled.
"Regina, what was that song you sang for little Llora Carew the night
before she left us? Indeed there were two, one with the other without
an accompaniment?"
"You were not here at that time."
"No matter; what were they? The child fancies them exceedingly, and I
promised to get the words for her."
"Kücken's 'Schlummerlied,' and a little 'Cradle Song' by Wallace."
"Be so good as to let me hear them."
Would Mrs. Carew sing them for him when she was far away, utterly
forgotten by her guardian? The thought was unutterably bitter, and it
goaded her, aided her in the ordeal.
With nerves strung to their extreme tension, she sang as he
requested, and all the while her rich mellow voice rolled through the
room, he walked very slowly from one end of the library to the other.
She forced herself to sing every verse, and when she concluded he was
standing behind her chair. He put his hands on her shoulders, and
prevented her rising, for just then he was unwilling she should see
his countenance, which he feared would betray the suffering he was
resolved to conceal.
After a moment, he said:
"Thank you. I shall buy the music in order to secure the words.
Lily----"
He paused, bent down, and rested his chin on the large coil of hair
at the back of her head, and though she never knew it his proud lips
touched the glossy silken mass.
"Lily, if I ask a foolish trifle of you, will you grant it, as a
farewell gift to your guardian?"
"I think, sir, you do not doubt that I will."
"It is a trivial thing, and will cost you nothing. The night on which
you sang those songs to Llora is associated with something which I
treasure as peculiarly precious; and I merely wish to request that
you will never sing them again for any one unless I give you
permission."
Swiftly she recalled the fact that on that particular evening he had
escorted Mrs. Carew to a "German" at Mrs. Quimbey's, and she
explained his request by the supposition that her songs to Mrs.
Carew's child commemorated the date of his betrothal to the grey-eyed
mother. Could she bear even to think of them in coming years?
She hastily pushed back the ivory stops, and shaking off his
detaining palms, rose:
"I am sorry that I cannot do something of more importance to oblige
my kind guardian; for this trifle involves not the slightest
sacrifice of feeling, and I would gladly improve a better opportunity
of attesting my gratitude. You may rest assured I shall never sing
those words again under any circumstances. Do not buy the music; I
will leave my copies for Llora, and you and her mother can easily
teach her the words."
"Thanks! You will please place the music on the organ, and when I
come back from Cincinnati it will remind me. I hope your mother will
be pleased with you progress in French German, and music. Your
teachers furnish very flattering reports, and I have enclosed them
with some receipts, bills, and other valuable papers in this large
sealed envelope, which you must give to your mother as soon as you
see her."
He went to his desk, took out the package, and handed it to her.
Seating himself at the table where she generally wrote and studied,
he pointed to a chair on the opposite side, and mechanically she sat
down.
"Perhaps you may recollect that some months ago, Mrs. Orme wrote me
she was particularly desirous you should be trained to read well. It
is a graceful accomplishment, especially for a lady, and I ordered a
professor of elocution to give you instruction twice a week. I hope
you have derived benefit from his tuition, as he has fitted one or
two professional readers for the stage, and I should dislike to have
your mother feel disappointed in any of your attainments. Now that I
am called upon to render an account of my stewardship, I trust you
will pardon me, if I examine you a little. Here is Jean Ingelow,
close at hand, and I must trouble you to allow me an opportunity of
testing your proficiency."
The book which she had been reading that day lay on the table, and
taking it up he leisurely turned over the leaves. A premonitory dread
seized her, and she wrung her hands, which were lying cold in her
lap.
"Ah!--here is your mark; three purple pansies, crushed in the middle
of 'Divided,'--staining the delicate cream-tinted paper with their
dark blood. Probably you are familiar with this poem, consequently
can interpret it for me without any great effort. Commence at the
first, and let me see what value Professor Chrysostom's training
possesses. Not too fast; recollect Pegasus belongs to poets,--never
to readers."
He leaned across the marble table, and placed the open book before
her.
Did he intentionally torture her? With those bright eyes reading her
unwomanly and foolish heart, was he amusing himself, as an
entomologist impales a feeble worm, and from its writhing deduces the
exact character of its nervous and muscular anatomy?
The thought struck her more severely than the stroke of a lash would
have done, and turning the page to the light, she said quickly:
"'Divided' is not at all dramatic, and as an exercise is not
comparable to 'High Tide on the Coast of Lincolnshire,' or 'Songs of
Seven,' or even that most exquisite of all, 'Afternoon at a
Parsonage.'"
"Try 'Divided.'"
She dared not refuse lest he should despise her utterly, interpreting
correctly her reluctance. For an instant the print danced before her,
but the spirit of defiance was fast mastering her trepidation, and
she sat erect, and obeyed him.
Thrusting one hand inside his vest, where it rested tightly clenched
over his heart, Mr. Palma sat intently watching her, glad of the
privilege afforded him to study the delicate features. Her excessive
paleness reminded him of the words:
"That white, white face, set in a night of hair,"
and though the chastening touch of sorrow and continued
heart-ache--that most nimble of all chisellers--had strangely matured
the countenance which when it entered that house was as free from
lines and shadows as an infant's, it still preserved its almost
child-like purity and repose.
The proud fair face, with its firm yet dainty scarlet lips, baffled
him; and when he reflected that a hundred contingencies might arise
to shut it from his view in future years he suddenly compressed his
mouth to suppress a groan. His vanity demanded an assurance that her
heart was as entirely his as he hoped, yet he knew that he loved her
all the more tenderly, and reverently, because of the true womanly
delicacy that prompted her to shroud her real feelings, with such
desperate tenacity.
She read the poem with skill and pathos, but no undue tremor of the
smooth, deliciously sweet voice betrayed aught save the natural
timidity of a tyro, essaying her first critical trial. Tonight she
wore a white shawl draped in statuesque folds over her shoulders and
bust, and the snowy flowers in her raven hair were scarcely purer
than her full forehead, borne up by the airy arched black bows that
had always attracted the admiration of her fastidious guardian; and
as the soft radiance of the clustered lamps fell upon her, she looked
as sweet and lovely a woman as ever man placed upon the sacred hearth
of his home, a holy priestess to keep it bright, serene, and warm.
On that same day, but a few hours earlier, she had perused these
pages, wondering how the unknown gifted poetess beyond the sea had so
accurately etched the suffering in her own young heart, the
loneliness and misery that seemed coiled in the future like serpents
in a lair. Now, holding that bruised palpitating heart under the
steel-clad heel of pride, she was calmly declaiming that portraiture
of her own wretchedness, as any elocutionist might a grand passage
from the "_Antigone_," or "_Prometheus_." Not a throb of pain was
permitted to ripple the rich voice that uttered:
"But two are walking apart for ever,
And wave their hands in a mute farewell."
Farther on, nearing the close, Mr. Palma observed a change in the
countenance, a quick gleam in the eyes, a triumphant ring in the deep
and almost passionate tone that cried exultingly:
"Only my heart to my heart will show it
As I walk desolate day by day."
He leaned forward and touched the volume:
"Thank you. Give me the book. I should render the concluding verses
very much as I heard them recently from my fair client, Mrs.
Carew--so."
In his remarkably clear, full, musical and carefully modulated voice
he read the two remaining verses, then closed the volume and looked
coolly across the table at the girl.
With what a flash her splendid eyes challenged his, and how proudly
her tender lips curled, as with pitiless scorn she answered:
"Not so--oh, not so. Jean Ingelow would never recognize her own
jewelled handiwork. She meant this, and any earnest woman who prized
a faithful lover could not fail to read it aright."
Her eyes sank till they rested on her ring, and slipping it to and
fro upon her slender finger till the diamonds sparkled, she repeated
with indescribable power and pathos:
"And yet I know, past all doubting, truly,--
A knowledge greater than grief can dim--
I know, as he loved, he will love me duly,
Yea better, e'en better than I love him.
And as I walk by the vast calm river,
The awful river so dread to see,
I say 'Thy breadth and thy depth for ever--
Are bridged by his thoughts that cross to me.'"
"Regina, do you interpret that the River of Death?"
She pointed to the jewels on her hand, and the blue eyes cold as
steel met his.
"Only the river of death could have 'divided' Douglass and me."
A frown overshadowed his massive brow, but he merely added
composedly:
"I did not suspect until to-night that you were endowed with your
mother's histrionic talent. Some day you will rival her as an
actress, and at least I may venture to congratulate you upon the
fact that she will scarcely be disappointed in your dramatic skill."
For nearly a moment, neither spoke.
"Mr. Palma, you have no objection, I hope, to my carrying mother's
portrait with me?"
"It is undeniably your property, but since you will so soon possess
the original, I would suggest the propriety of leaving the picture
where it is, until your mother decides where she will reside."
"I understood that you had sold this house, and feared that in the
removal it might be injured."
"It will be carefully preserved with my own pictures, and if your
mother wishes it forwarded I will comply with her instructions. All
the business details of your voyage I have arranged with Mrs. Palma
and Mr. Chesley; and you have only to pack your trunks and bid adieu
to such friends as you may deem worthy of a farewell visit. Have you
a copy of Jean Ingelow?"
"No, sir."
"Then oblige me by accepting mine. I have no time for poetry."
He took the book to his desk, wrote upon the fly leaf: "Lily, March
the 10th;" then marked "Divided," and returning to the table held the
volume toward her.
"Thank you, but indeed, sir, I do not wish to accept it. I much
prefer that you should retain it."
He inclined his head, and replaced the book on the marble slab. She
rose, and he saw the colour slowly ebbing from her lips.
"Mr. Palma, I hope you will not deny me one great favour. I cannot
leave my dog; I must have my Hero."
"Indeed! I thought you had quite forgotten his existence. You have
ceased to manifest any interest in him."
"Yes, to manifest, but not to feel. You took him from me, and I was
unwilling to annoy you with useless petitions and complaints. You
assured me he was well cared for, and that I need not expect to have
him while I remained here; now I am going away for ever, I want him.
You gave him to me once; he is mine; and you have no right to
withhold him any longer."
"Circumstances have materially altered. When you were a little girl I
sent you a dog to romp with. Now you are a young lady preparing for
European conquests, and having had his day, Hero must retire to the
rustic shade of your childhood."
"Years have not changed my feeling for all that I love."
"Are you sure, Lily, that you have not changed since you came to live
in New York?"
"Not in my attachment to all that brightened my childhood, and Hero
is closely linked with the dear happy time I spent at the parsonage.
Mr. Palma, I want him."
Her guardian smiled, and played with his watch chain.
"Officers of the ocean steamers dislike to furnish passage for dogs;
and they are generally forwarded by sailing vessels. My ward, I
regret to refuse you, particularly when we are about to say good-bye,
possibly for ever. Wait six months, and if at the expiration of that
time, you still desire to have him cross the ocean, I pledge myself
to comply with your wishes. You know I never break a promise."
"Where is Hero? May I not at least see him before I go?"
"Just now he is at a farm on Staten Island, and I am sorry I cannot
gratify you in such a trivial matter. Trust me to take care of him."
Her heart was slowly sinking, for she saw him glance at the clock,
and knew that it was very late.
"I will bring you good tidings of your pet, when I see you in Europe.
If I live, I shall probably cross the ocean some time during the
summer; and as my business will oblige me to meet your mother, I
shall hope to see my ward during my tour, which will be short."
He was watching her very closely, and instead of pleased surprise,
discerned the expression of dread, the unmistakable shiver that
greeted the announcement of his projected trip. After all, had he
utterly mistaken her feeling, flattered himself falsely?
She supposed he referred to his bridal tour, and the thought that
when they next met he would be Brunella Carew's husband, goaded her
to hope that such torture might be averted by seeing him no more.
While both stood sorrowful and perplexed, the front door bell rang
sharply. Soon after Terry entered, with a large official envelope,
sealed with red wax.
"From Mr. Rodney, sir."
"Yes, I was expecting it. Tell Octave I must have a cup of coffee at
daylight, and Farley must not fail to have the _coupé_ ready to take
me to the depot. Let the gas burn in the hall to-night. That is all."
Mr. Palma broke the seals, glanced at the heading of several sheets
of legal cap, and laid the whole on his desk.
"Regina, all the money belonging to you I shall leave in Mrs. Palma's
hands, and she will transmit it to you. Mr. Chesley will take charge
of you to-morrow, soon after his arrival, and in the chivalric new
guardian I presume the former grim custodian will speedily be
forgotten. I have some letters to write, and as I shall leave home
before you are awake, I must bid you good-bye to-night. Is there
anything you wish to say to me?"
Twice she attempted to speak, but no sound was audible.
Mr. Palma came close to her, and held out his hand. Silently she
placed hers in it, and when he took the other, holding both in a warm
tightening clasp, she felt as if the world were crumbling beneath her
unsteady feet. Her large soft eyes sought his handsome pale face,
wistfully, hungrily, almost despairingly, and oh, how dear he was to
her at that moment! If she could only put her arms around his neck,
and cling to him, feeling as she had once done the touch of his cheek
pressing hers; but there was madness in the thought.
"Although you are so anxious to leave my care and my house, I hope my
ward will think kindly of me when far distant. It is my misfortune
that you gave your fullest confidence and affection, to your guardian
Mr. Hargrove; but since you were committed to nay hands, I have
endeavoured faithfully, conscientiously, to do my duty in every
respect. In some things it has cost me dear,--how dear I think you
will never realize. If I should live to see you again, I trust I
shall find you the same earnest, true-hearted, pure girl that you
leave me, for in your piety and noble nature I have a deep and
abiding faith. My dear ward, good-bye."
The beautiful face with its mournful tender eyes told little of the
fierce agony that seemed consuming her, as she gazed into the beloved
countenance for the last time.
"Good-bye, Mr. Palma. I have no words to thank you for all your care
and goodness."
"Is that all, Lily? Years ago, when I left you at the parsonage,
looking as if your little heart would break, you said, 'I will pray
for you every night.' Now you leave me without a tear and with no
promise to remember me."
Tenderly his low voice appealed to her heart, as he bent his head so
close that his hair swept across her brow.
She raised the hand that held hers, suddenly kissed it with an
overwhelming passionate fervour, and holding it against her cheek,
murmured almost in a whisper:
"God knows I have never ceased to pray for you, and, Mr. Palma, as
long as I live, come what may to both of us, I shall never fail in my
prayers for you."
She dropped his hand, and covered her face with her own.
He stretched his arms toward her, all his love in his fine eyes, so
full of a strange tenderness, a yearning to possess her entirely, but
he checked himself, and, taking one of the hands, led her to the
door. Upon the threshold she rallied, and looked up:
"Good-bye, Mr. Palma."
He drew her close to his side, unconscious that he pressed her
fingers so tight that the small points of the diamonds cut into the
flesh.
"God bless you, Lily. Think of me sometimes."
They looked in each other's eyes an instant, and she walked away. He
turned and closed the door, and she heard the click of the lock
inside. Blind and tearless, like one staggering from a severe blow,
she reached her own room, and fell heavily across the foot of her
bed.
Through the long hours of that night she lay motionless, striving to
hush the moans of her crushed heart, and wondering why such anguish
as hers was not fatal. Staring at the wall, she could not close her
eyes, and the only staff that supported her in the ordeal was the
consciousness that she had fought bravely, had not betrayed her
humiliating secret.
Toward dawn she rose, and opened her window. The sleet had ceased,
and the carriage was standing before the door. An impulse she could
not resist drove her out into the hall, to catch one more glimpse of
the form so precious to her. She heard a door open on the hall
beneath, and recognized her guardian's step. He paused, and she heard
him talking to his stepmother, bidding her adieu. His last words were
deep and gentle in their utterance.
"Be very tender and patient with Olga. Wounds like hers heal slowly.
Take good care of my ward. God bless you all."
Descending the steps she saw him distinctly, enveloped in an overcoat
buttoned so close that it showed the fine proportions of his tall
figure; and as he stopped to light his cigar at a gas globe which a
bronze Atalanta held in a niche half way up the stairs, his nobly
formed head and gleaming forehead impressed itself for ever on her
memory.
Slowly he went down, and leaning over the balustrade to watch the
vanishing figure, the withered azaleas slipped from her hair, and
floated like a snowflake down, down to the lower hall.
Fearful of discovery she shrank back, but not before he had seen the
drifting flowers, and one swift upward glance showed him the blanched
suffering face pale as a summer cloud, retreating from observation.
Stooping, he snatched the bruised wilted petals that seemed a fit
symbol of the drooping flower he was leaving behind him, kissed them
tenderly, and thrust them into his bosom.
The blessed assurance so long desired seemed nestling in their
perfumed corollas making all his future fragrant; and how little she
dreamed of the precious message they breathed from her heart to his!
"What could he do indeed? A weak white girl
Held all his heartstrings in her small white hand;
His hopes, and power, and majesty were hers,
And not his own."