[Sidenote: _Anon._]
With nose so long and mouth so wide,
And those twelve grinders side by side,
Dick, with a very little trial,
Would make an excellent sun-dial.
[Sidenote: _Wellesley (altered)_]
Nicias, a doctor and musician,
Lies under very foul suspicion.
He sings, and without any shame
He murders all the finest music:
Does he prescribe? our fate's the same,
If he shall e'er find me or you sick.
[Sidenote: _Anon._]
Now the Graces are four and the Venuses two,
And ten is the number of Muses;
For a Muse and a Grace and a Venus are you,
My dear little Molly Trefusis.
[Sidenote: _Merivale_]
Dick cannot blow his nose when'er he pleases,
His nose so long is, and his arm so short,
Nor ever cries, God bless me! when he sneezes--
He cannot hear so distant a report.
OLD LONDON SPORTS
[Sidenote: _Stow_]
"Every year also at Shrove Tuesday, that we may begin with children's
sports, seeing we all have been children, the schoolboys do bring cocks
of the game to their master, and all the forenoon they delight
themselves in cock-fighting; after dinner, all the youths go into the
fields to play at the ball.
"The scholars of every school have their ball, or baton, in their hands;
the ancient and wealthy men of the city come forth on horseback to see
the sport of the young men and to take part of the pleasure in beholding
their agility. Every Friday in Lent a fresh company of young men comes
into the field on horseback, and the best horseman conducteth the rest.
Then march forth the citizens' sons, and other young men, with disarmed
lances and shields; and there they practise feats of war. Many courtiers
likewise, when the king lieth near, and attendants of noblemen, do
repair to these exercises; and, while the hope of victory doth inflame
their minds, do show good proof how serviceable they would be in martial
affairs.
"In Easter holidays they fight battles on the water; a shield is hung
upon a pole, fixed in the midst of the stream, a boat is prepared
without oars, to be carried by violence of the water, and in the fore
part thereof standeth a young man, ready to give charge upon the shield
with his lance; if so be he breaketh his lance against the shield, and
doth not fall, he is thought to have performed a worthy deed; if so be,
without breaking his lance, he runneth strongly against the shield, down
he falleth into the water, for the boat is violently forced with the
tide; but on each side of the shield ride two boats, furnished with
young men, which recover him that falleth as soon as they may. Upon the
bridge, wharfs, and houses, by the river's side stand great numbers to
see and laugh thereat....
"When the great fen, or moor, which watereth the walls of the city on
the north side, is frozen, many young men play upon the ice; some,
striding as wide as they may, do slide swiftly; others make themselves
seats of ice, as great as millstones; one sits down, many hand in hand
to draw him, and one slipping on a sudden, all fall together; some tie
bones to their feet and under their heels, and, shoving themselves by a
little picked staff, do slide as swiftly as a bird flieth in the air, or
an arrow out of a crossbow. Sometime two run together with poles, and,
hitting one the other, either one or both do fall, not without hurt;
some break their arms, some their legs, but youth desirous of glory in
this sort exerciseth itself against the time of war. Many of the
citizens do delight themselves in hawks and hounds; for they have
liberty of hunting in Middlesex, Hertfordshire, all Chiltern, and in
Kent to the water of Cray." Thus far Fitzstephen of sports.
These, or the like exercises, have been continued till our time,
namely, in stage-plays, whereof ye may read in anno 1391, a play by the
parish clerks of London at the Skinner's Well besides Smithfield, which
continued three days together, the king, queen, and nobles of the realm
being present. And of another, in the year 1409, which lasted eight
days, and was of matter from the creation of the world, whereat was
present most part of the nobility and gentry of England. Of late time,
in place of those stage-plays, hath been used comedies, tragedies,
interludes, and histories, both true and feigned; for the acting whereof
certain public places, as the Theatre, the Curtain, etc., have been
erected. Also cocks of the game are yet cherished by divers men for
their pleasures, much money being laid on their heads, when they fight
in pits, whereof some be costly made for that purpose. The ball is used
by noblemen and gentlemen in tennis-courts, and by people of meaner sort
in the open fields and streets.
The marching forth of citizens' sons, and other young men on horseback,
with disarmed lances and shields, there to practise feats of war, man
against man, hath long since been left off, but in their stead they have
used, on horseback, to run at a dead mark, called a quintain; for note
whereof I read, that in the year of Christ 1253, the 38th of Henry III.,
the youthful citizens, for an exercise of their activity, set forth a
game to run at the quintain; and whoever did best should have a peacock,
which they had prepared as a prize. Certain of the king's servants,
because the court lay then at Westminster, came, as it were, in spite of
the citizens, to that game, and, giving reproachful names to the
Londoners, which for the dignity of the city, and ancient privilege
which they ought to have enjoyed, were called barons, the said
Londoners, not able to bear so to be misused, fell upon the king's
servants, and beat them shrewdly, so that, upon complaint to the king,
he fined the citizens to pay a thousand marks. This exercise of running
at the quintain was practised by the youthful citizens as well in summer
as in winter, namely, in the feast of Christmas, I have seen a quintain
set upon Cornhill, by the Leadenhall, where the attendants on the lords
of merry disports have run, and made great pastime; for he that hit not
the broad end of the quintain was of all men laughed to scorn, and he
that hit it full, if he rid not the faster, had a sound blow in his neck
with a bag full of sand hung on the other end. I have also in the summer
season seen some upon the river of Thames rowed in wherries with staves
in their hands, flat at the fore end, running one against another, and
for the most part, one or both overthrown and well ducked.
On the holy days in summer the youths of this city have in the field
exercised themselves in leaping, dancing, shooting, wrestling, casting
of the stone or ball, etc.
And for defence and use of the weapon, there is a special profession of
men that teach it. Ye may read in mine Annals how that in the year 1222
the citizens kept games of defence, and wrestlings, near unto the
hospital of St. Giles-in-the-Field, where they challenged and had the
mastery of the men in the suburbs, and other commoners, etc. Also, in
the year 1453, of a tumult made against the mayor at the wrestling
besides Clerke's Well, etc. Which is sufficient to prove that of old
time the exercising of wrestling, and such like, hath been much more
used than of later years. The youths of this city also have used on holy
days after evening prayer, at their masters' doors, to exercise their
wasters and bucklers; and the maidens, one of them playing on a timbrel,
in sight of their masters and dames, to dance for garlands hung athwart
the streets; which open pastimes in my youth being now suppressed, worse
practices within doors are to be feared. As for the baiting of bulls and
bears, they are to this day much frequented, namely, in Bear gardens, on
the Bank's side, wherein be prepared scaffolds for beholders to stand
upon. Sliding upon the ice is now but children's play; but in hawking
and hunting many grave citizens at this present have great delight, and
do rather want leisure than good-will to follow it.
Of triumphant shows made by the citizens of London, ye may read, in the
year 1236, the 20th of Henry III., Andrew Bockwell then being mayor, how
Eleanor, daughter to Reymond, Earl of Provence, riding through the city
towards Westminster, there to be crowned Queen of England, the city was
adorned with silks, and in the night with lamps, cressets, and other
lights without number, besides many pageants and strange devices there
presented; the citizens also rode to meet the king and queen, clothed in
long garments embroidered about, with gold and silks of divers colours,
their horses gallantly trapped to the number of three hundred and sixty,
every man bearing a cup of gold or silver in his hand, and the king's
trumpeters sounding before them. These citizens did minister wine, as
bottlers, which is their service, at their coronation. More, in the year
1293, for victory obtained by Edward I., against the Scots, every
citizen, according to their several trade, made their several show, but
especially the fishmongers, which in a solemn procession passed through
the city, having, amongst other pageants and shows, four sturgeons gilt,
carried on four horses; then four salmons of silver on four horses; and
after them six and forty armed knights riding on horses, made like luces
of the sea; and then one representing St. Magnus, because it was upon
St. Magnus's day, with a thousand horsemen, etc.
One other show, in the year 1377, was made by the citizens for disport
of the young prince, Richard, son of the Black Prince, in the feast of
Christmas, in this manner: On the Sunday before Candlemas, in the night,
one hundred and thirty citizens, disguised, and well horsed, in a
mummery, with sound of trumpets, sack-butts, cornets, shalmes, and other
minstrels, and innumerable torchlights of wax, rode from Newgate,
through Cheap, over the bridge, through Southwark, and so to Kennington
beside Lambhith, where the young prince remained with his mother and the
Duke of Lancaster his uncle, the Earls of Cambridge, Hertford, Warwick,
and Suffolk, with divers other lords. In the first rank did ride
forty-eight in the likeness and habit of esquires, two and two together,
clothed in red coats and gowns of say or sandal, with comely visors on
their faces; after them came riding forty-eight knights in the same
livery of colour and stuff; then followed one richly arrayed like an
emperor; and, after him some distance, one stately attired like a pope,
whom followed twenty-four cardinals, and after them eight or ten with
black visors, not amiable, as if they had been legates from some foreign
princes. These maskers, after they had entered Kennington, alighted from
their horses, and entered the hall on foot; which done, the prince, his
mother, and the lords came out of the chamber into the hall, whom the
said mummers did salute, showing by a pair of dice upon the table their
desire to play with the prince, which they so handled that the prince
did always win when he cast them. Then the mummers set to the prince
three jewels, one after another, which were a bowl of gold, a cup of
gold, and a ring of gold, which the prince won at three casts. Then they
set to the prince's mother, the duke, the earls, and other lords, to
every one a ring of gold, which they did also win. After which they were
feasted, and the music sounded, the prince and lords danced on the one
part with the mummers, which did also dance; which jollity being ended,
they were again made to drink, and then departed in order as they came.
The like was in Henry IV., in the 2nd of his reign, he then keeping his
Christmas at Eltham, twelve aldermen of London and their sons rode in a
mumming, and had great thanks.
Thus much for sportful shows in triumphs may suffice. Now for sports and
pastimes yearly used.
First, in the feast of Christmas, there was in the king's house,
wheresoever he was lodged, a lord of misrule, or master of merry
disports, and the like had ye in the house of every nobleman of honour
or good worship, were he spiritual or temporal. Amongst the which the
mayor of London, and either of the sheriffs, had their several lords of
misrule, ever contending, without quarrel or offence, who should make
the rarest pastimes to delight the beholders. These lords beginning
their rule on Alhollon eve, continued the same till the morrow after the
Feast of the Purification, commonly called Candlemas day. In all which
space there were fine and subtle disguisings, masks, and mummeries, with
playing at cards for counters, nails, and points, in every house, more
for pastime than for gain.
Against the feast of Christmas every man's house, as also the parish
churches, were decked with holm, ivy, bays, and whatsoever the season of
the year afforded to be green. The conduits and standards in the
streets were likewise garnished; amongst the which I read, in the year
1444, that by tempest of thunder and lightning, on the 1st of February,
at night, Paule's Steeple was fired, but with great labour quenched; and
towards the morning of Candlemas Day, at the Leadenhall in Cornhill, a
standard of tree being set up in midst of the pavement, fast in the
ground, nailed full of holm and ivy, for disport of Christmas to the
people, was torn up, and cast down by the malignant spirit (as was
thought), and the stones of the pavement all about were cast in the
streets, and into divers houses, so that the people were sore aghast of
the great tempests.
In the week before Easter, had ye great shows made for the fetching in
of a twisted tree, or with, as they termed it, out of the woods into the
king's house; and the like into every man's house of honour or worship.
In the month of May, namely, on May-day in the morning, every man,
except impediment, would walk into the sweet meadows and green woods,
there to rejoice their spirits with the beauty and savour of sweet
flowers, and with the harmony of birds, praising God in their kind; and
for example hereof, Edward Hall hath noted, that King Henry VIII., as in
the 3rd of his reign, and divers other years, so namely, in the 7th of
his reign, on May-day in the morning, with Queen Katherine his wife,
accompanied with many lords and ladies, rode a-maying from Greenwich to
the high ground of Shooter's Hill, where, as they passed by the way,
they espied a company of tall yeomen, clothed all in green, with green
hoods, and bows and arrows, to the number of two hundred; one being
their chieftain, was called Robin Hood, who required the king and his
company to stay and see his men shoot; whereunto the King granting,
Robin Hood whistled, and all the two hundred archers shot off, loosing
all at once; and when he whistled again they likewise shot again; their
arrows whistled by craft of the head, so that the noise was strange and
loud, which greatly delighted the king, queen, and their company.
Moreover, this Robin Hood desired the king and queen, with their
retinue, to enter the greenwood where, in harbours made of boughs, and
decked with flowers, they were set and served plentifully with venison
and wine by Robin Hood and his men, to their great contentment, and had
other pageants and pastimes, as ye may read in my said author.
I find also, that in the month of May, the citizens of London of all
estates, lightly in every parish, or sometimes two or three parishes
joining together, had their several mayings, and did fetch in Maypoles,
with divers warlike shows, with good archers, morris-dancers, and other
devices, for pastime all the day long; and toward the evening they had
stage-plays, and bonfires in the streets.