BREAKING BOUNDS
Honor lived in dread of Captain Dalton's return to the Station.
Did he remember anything of what had passed between them in the hour
which she had spent at his bedside? Or had he completely forgotten the
episode and her confession? She would have been glad to think he had
forgotten, for she had brought herself to believe that he had been
labouring under the influence of delusions. If it were true that he
loved her, his manner would have been very different in the days
preceding his illness. True, she had been aloof; but men in love are not
usually balked by such trifles as had stood in his way.
No. He had been dreaming.
His fever-stricken brain had been wandering among unrealities, and her
face had filled the imagination of the moment. Facts and fancies had
intermingled, till they had misled him in his delirium into believing
that it was she he loved.
The truth was, she argued to herself, that he loved nobody. It was
certain that a woman by her treachery and double dealing had killed his
better nature, or drugged it; and his capacity for love and trust had
gone. If it were not so, he would have loved Joyce who was beautiful and
winning, and have respected her because of her ingenuous innocence. It
was a thousand pities that such a strong character had been tricked and
perverted!
And now that there was no one to monopolise his leisure moments, it was
to be hoped that he would, on his return, confine himself to his music
and the treatise he was at work upon. It would be a relief, Honor felt,
if he would only continue to keep out of her way; otherwise, life would
be intolerable. It was the acme of humiliation to have discovered
herself in love with a man who had no need of her whatever! and the
sooner she could find something to do outside the District, either in a
hospital or in connection with some charitable organisation, the better
it would be for her peace of mind and self-respect.
However, when she broached the subject of work away from home, her
parents would hear nothing of it.
"Our only child, and not to live with us!" Mrs. Bright exclaimed,
horrified. "What is the use of having a daughter if we are to let her
leave us--except to be married?"
"I shall never marry. I have no vocation in that line, so should lead
some sort of useful life."
"And isn't your life useful? What should I do alone when your father is
in camp? If either of us was ill, whom do you think we would look to,
but you? Surely, Honey, you are not bored with your own home?"
"Never, Mother dear! I am too happy with you and Dad. But most girls do
something now-a-days. It is only that I feel it such a waste of energy
to stay at home doing nothing but please myself."
"You have your duty to us, and your 'duty to your neighbour'."
"Which latter consists of meeting him collectively at the Club, helping
to amuse him with tennis and golf, and listening to a lot of scandal!"
"My dear! since when have you turned cynical? You are, I am sure, a
great comfort to Mrs. Meek; and the families of our servants simply
worship you."
"For converting my cast-off garments to their use in winter. My old navy
skirt has certainly made an excellent pair of pyjamas for Kareem's young
hopeful, and the sweeper's youngster looks like nothing on earth in
bloomers and my old golf jersey!"
"The _saice_, too, is delighted with those jackets you turned out from
my old red flannel petticoat. The twins are as snug in them as a pair of
kittens," laughed Mrs. Bright.
"I want to hear no more of that rot about your wanting work while I am
above ground," said Mr. Bright, looking up from his newspaper and
regarding his daughter severely. "It will be time enough to let you go
when some fellow comes along and wants to carry you off; but to let you
go and tinker at other people's jobs is not at all to my liking when you
have a home and duties to perform with regard to it."
And that was the end of all argument. Not having a combative nature, nor
a taste for debate, Honor adjourned to the store cupboard and gave
Kareem the stores for the day.
"Please be obdurate in the matter of the _ghi_[17], Honey," was her
mother's parting injunction. "He would swim in it if you allowed him.
Two _chattaks_ for curry are ample. The dear rascal is not above saving
the surplus, if he gets it, and selling it back to me."
[Footnote 17: Butter converted into oil by boiling.]
"Memsahib's orders" admitted of no palava, and Kareem who was faithful
unto death, but not above commercial dishonesty, submitted to the
mandate with the air of a martyr. "Whatever I am told, that will I do;
but if the food is not to the sahib's liking, I have nothing to say."
Having expressed his views on the matter of his restrictions he withdrew
with his tray full of stores, a bearded, black-browed ruffian in
appearance, clad in a jacket and loin-cloth, but of a character capable
of the highest self-sacrifice and devotion.
It was still early enough after her morning's duties were over, for a
tramp along the Panipara Jhil for snipe, the sport Honor most enjoyed
and at which she was gradually becoming proficient. She would be all
alone, that bright January day, as Tommy, her faithful and devoted
lover, was prevented by his duties from waiting on her.
Jack, too, was at work down at the Courts,--not that he was likely to
offer his escort in these days of his unhappy bondage to Mrs. Fox; but
Honor's thoughts strayed persistently to him with anxious concern. He
had returned from Calcutta after Christmas looking jaded and depressed.
Tommy had been unable to make anything of him till, one day, his
attention was caught by a paragraph in the _Statesman_ concerning an
application for a dissolution of marriage from her husband, on the usual
grounds, by Mrs. Barrington Fox.
"Good God! a walkover for her!" he exclaimed in consternation. Being
full of concern for Jack, he forthwith proceeded with the news to Miss
Bright, and they lamented together in bitterness over the young man's
impending ruin. "She has played her cards like a sharper, and I have no
doubt that that old idiot, Jack, is done for," Tommy observed.
"But why should he marry her?" Honor protested. "Two wrongs don't make a
right."
"He feels, I suppose, in honour bound to marry her."
"In honour bound to punish himself by rewarding her dishonesty?"
"He shared it."
"Hers was the greater sin. She tempted him. Think of her age and his,
her experience of life and his!--I don't see it!"
"Men have a special code of honour, it seems."
"Tommy, it is a case of kidnapping. Jack's only a foolish, weak boy,
deserving of punishment, but it isn't fair that the punishment should be
life-long!"
"He is pretty sick of himself, I can vouch for that."
Jack's undoing was a source of depression to Honor Bright, and the
question of how to save him was with her continually.
It was a cold day with a pleasant warmth in the sunshine as Honor swung
along the roads on foot, her gun under her arm, and a bag of cartridges
slung from her shoulder. She was dressed in a Norfolk jacket and short
skirt of tweed, with top boots as a protection from snakes, and her free
and graceful carriage was a beautiful thing to see. So thought the
doctor as he watched her from behind a pillar in his bungalow verandah.
He had returned by the last train the previous night a few days before
he was expected, and, as yet, no one besides his servants and the
_locum_ knew of it.
When Honor had passed he began making hasty preparations to go out. His
shot gun was taken down from a rack, examined, cleaned, and oiled
afresh; cartridges were dropped into his pocket; thick boots suitable to
muddy places were pulled on, accompanied by much impatience and a few
swear words.
Would he have the motor? Yes--no! The motor could be taken by a mechanic
to a certain point by the Panipara Jhil and left there for his
convenience.
In the meantime, Honor tramped through the fields taking all the short
cuts she knew, and was soon on the fringe of the grass in complete
enjoyment of the wildness of the scene and its solitude. The slanting
rays of the morning sun filtering through the trees, cast checkered
lights upon the lilies and weeds that floated on the water. Little
islands dotted the surface, covered with rushes and date palms, the wild
plum, and the _babul_--all growing thickly together. The air was full of
the odour of decaying vegetation and the noise of jungle fowl, teal, and
duck. The latter could be seen fluttering their pinions among the lotus
flowers, and bobbing about on the surface of the water, thoroughly at
home in their native element; occasionally a flock would rise and settle
again not far from the same spot, vigilant with the instinct of
approaching danger. In the far distance, Panipara village could be seen,
its dark, thatched roofs seeming to fringe the _jhil_ at its farther
verge.
Honor filled the breach of her light gun with a couple of No. 8
cartridges, and warily skirted the brink. In places the pools were so
shallow that a man might have waded knee deep from island to island; but
the soft mud was treacherous, and flat-bottomed canoes were generally
hired at Panipara by sportsmen who went duck-shooting. As Honor was
after snipe, she kept to the banks and picked her way fearlessly along
the tangled paths, her high boots a protection from thorns and snakes.
Birds sang lustily in the trees; the throaty trill of the tufted bulbul
sounding inexpressibly sweet,--the thyial, too, like a glorified canary,
made music for her by the way.
For nearly an hour Honor wandered over the marshy ground of both banks,
often imagining she heard footsteps and rustlings among the long grass
that screened the view. The sounds ceased when she paused to listen, so
she concluded that her imagination had played her false. At length, just
as she was beginning to despair of success, a couple of snipe rose like
a flash from almost under her feet, and were gone before she could raise
her gun to her shoulder. Immediately she was startled by the sound of a
shot fired somewhere in her neighbourhood! She had no idea that any one
else was out shooting that morning. She looked around. Beyond a thin
veil of smoke hanging over the water, there was nothing to be seen.
Who could it be, but a native _shikari_?--for there were a few in the
District licensed to carry firearms, who supplied the residents of the
Station with birds for their tables. Satisfied with her theory, she
pressed on a little farther and was rewarded by another chance at a
snipe. As the bird headed for a clump of bushes, she fired, and
simultaneously with her shot there came an involuntary cry--a sharp
exclamation of pain, and for a second she was rooted to the spot,
forgetting everything but the fear that someone at hand had been hit.
Dropping her gun in the grass, she ran forward in dismay, brushed aside
the screen of weeds and jungle, and came face to face with Captain
Dalton leaning against the trunk of a tree, holding his wrist.
"Oh!--have I hurt you?" she cried in an intensity of alarm rather than
of surprise at finding him there, when she believed him at least some
hundreds of miles away.
Dalton never looked at her, nor replied, but releasing his wrist,
allowed the blood to drip to the ground from a trivial wound. A stray
shot from the many in the cartridge had scratched the skin upon a vein,
and the occasion was serving him well.
But out of all proportion to the injury was his pallor and the emotion
that swept his face and held him quivering and tongue-tied.
"What can I do?" Honor cried in her distress. The sight of blood was
enough to rend her tender heart; and to know that it had been shed by an
act of hers, shook her to the foundations of her being.
Dalton produced a handkerchief in silence and passing it to her, allowed
her to bandage the wound as well as she could. He was concerned only
with watching the beautiful, sunburnt fingers that moved tremblingly to
aid him, or the sympathetic face that bent over the task.
When the bandage was completed, their eyes met, and the same moment
Honor was in his arms, clasped close to his breast while he murmured his
adoration.
"I love you!--my God! how I love you! and I want you so! Oh, my precious
little girl!--my Honey--my love!"
Honor asked no questions, but welcomed, with a sob of joy, the gift of
love that flooded her heart to overflowing. She clung to his neck with
loving abandonment and yielded her lips to his generously. With her
great nature, she could do nothing by halves, so gave of her love with
no grudging hand.
"Since when have you loved me, my Sweet?" he asked in tones that were
music to her ears.
"From the moment you kissed my hand and called me 'brave'!"
"And yet you plunged that dagger in my heart when you said in my
hearing--'I have no interest in Captain Dalton'?"
Honor recalled her conversation with Joyce and blushed. "It was not
true!" she confessed.
"I deserved it--and more!" he said humbly with suffering in his eyes.
"And when did _you_ begin to--care?" she asked shyly.
"From the moment I looked into your eyes at my bungalow, and saw
heroism, truth, and purity."
It was sweet hearing, though she was convinced that he exaggerated her
qualities. "Why then did you hide it so long?"
"I was fighting the biggest fight of my life."
"And have you won?"
"Won?" he laughed harshly. "No. I have lost, but it's worth it," kissing
her defiantly. "Can you guess how much I love you? When I was ill I used
to dream of you. I even thought you came to me and said you loved me!"
"I did. I was beside you, but you were delirious with fever, and I was
sure afterwards that what you said meant nothing."
"You were there? I often wondered about it, but dared not ask for fear
of disillusionment. The dream was so dear!"
"And when you recovered, you never tried to see me!"
"I was fighting my big fight which I have lost," he returned recklessly.
"So I tried to teach myself to forget."
"And you couldn't?"
"Oh, no. It was too late!" she sighed happily.
"Blessed fidelity! and now you confess that you love me. Say it!"
"I love you!" A few minutes passed in silence while he demonstrated his
transports of delight in true lover fashion.
"When you were angry with me over Elsie Meek's case, I went mad and did
a succession of hideous things. How can you love such a monster?"
Honor drew his face closer and laid her cheek to his.
"I hated everybody--I even tried to hate you, but it was impossible. I
resented the happiness of other men. I tried my best to break up a man's
home after partaking of his hospitality. Do you care to kiss me now?"
Honor kissed him tenderly. "I watched it all with such suffering!"
"You did? God forgive me! Did you know that it is not to my credit that
Mrs. Meredith is an honest woman today?"
"I know all about it."
"She told you? I might have known it! Women like Joyce Meredith talk.
But she is a good little woman. As for me!--I am unfit to kiss your
boot. Even now, I am the greatest blackguard unhung,--the meanest
coward, for I cannot bring myself to renounce my heart's desire!" He
held her from him and looked into her face with haggard eyes. "Send me
away! Say you will have nothing to do with me!--I shall then trouble you
no more."
With a happy laugh Honor flung herself on his breast. "Send you
away?--now?" The thing was clearly impossible. And why should she?
However wickedly he had behaved in the past it mattered nothing to her,
for the present was hers and all the future. What a glorious prospect!
"You haven't the foggiest idea what a scoundrel I am!"
"Then I must have a special leaning towards scoundrels!" she replied,
her face hidden on his shoulder.
"God knows the biggest thing in my life is my love for you," he said
brokenly. "My dream-girl! If I lose you, I lose everything. You will not
fail me, Honey?" he asked solemnly. "If all the world should wish to
part us, you will still hold to me?"
"I could not change. Whatever happens, I shall always love you, even if
all the world were against you."
He was not satisfied. For many minutes he held her to his heart,
covering her face with passionate, lingering kisses.
"And all this while we are forgetting that your wrist is hurt!" she
exclaimed.
"Damn my wrist! Look at me. Your eyes cannot lie!"
Honor lifted her eyes, clear and sweet to his, full of the love and
loyalty she felt, and saw an unutterable sadness in the depths of his
soul. He should have been rejoicing, yet he was like a man burdened with
a great remorse.
"Say, 'Brian, I am yours till death.'"
Honor repeated the words gravely.
He continued: "'I swear that, when you are ready to take me away, I will
go with you, and none shall hold me back.' Say that."
Honor said it faithfully. "I don't care if we have the quietest of
weddings," she added, "so long as it is in a church."
After a pregnant pause, he said tentatively, "Mr. Meek, I dare say,
could tie the knot."
"When may I tell Mother?"
"Will she keep it to herself?"
"She will tell Father, of course."
"Can't we have our happiness all to ourselves for a little while?"
Honor thought she could understand his deep sensitiveness of criticism
and questions--he was so unlike all the other men she knew--and
consented. Moreover, she loved him and wanted to please him. There was
no wrong in keeping secret what concerned themselves so closely, till he
was ready to make it public. Her own dear mother, from whom she had kept
nothing in her life, would be the first to understand and appreciate her
motive, as she was the most sympathetic woman in the world, and wanted
nothing so much as her child's happiness.
"I will do exactly as you wish, dear," she said, glad to offer an early
proof of her great affection.
Dalton kissed her rapturously, in unceasing wonderment at her
condescension in loving one so utterly unworthy. He seemed unable to
grasp the truth, and kept asking her repeatedly for assurances.
The heat of the sun's rays now penetrating their shadowed retreat and
striking down upon her bared head, awakened Honor to a sense of time and
the realisation that it was midday.
"When shall I hold you in my arms again?" he asked before finally
releasing her.
"The question is, where?--if it is to be kept a secret between us,
only?" she asked wistfully, compunction already pulling at her
conscience. Secrecy savoured of intrigue, and all things underhand were
abominable to her.
"I am so glad my bungalow is so near to yours--only the two gardens and
a hedge between! I might almost signal to you to meet me somewhere?" he
said hesitatingly as though expecting a rebuke.
"No, Brian. I'll have nothing to do with signalling," she said
definitely. "We'll meet every day at the Club if you like, and leave the
rest to chance."
"I could not build my hopes on chance. It would drive me crazy, as I am
not a patient man. Can't I see you alone--say in the lane--after
dinner?"
"No." She shook her head decidedly. "I couldn't do things by stealth! I
cannot deceive--it's no use expecting it of me!"
"I knew that; and it's that which I worship in you! But I am an exacting
and selfish brute. Well!--I'll not complain, Sweetheart!" He released
her, still with the gloom of a profound sadness in his eyes, and,
together, they walked back to find his car.